Learn to get what you want without burning bridges In this revised and updated edition of the renowned classic The Power of Nice, negotiations expert, sports agent, New York Times bestselling author, attorney, business leader and educator, Ron Shapiro, shares the key principles of effective negotiation through a combination of a time-tested process, anecdotes, and exercises. Drawing on his unparalleled experiences from the worlds of sports, law, business and politics, as well as dealing with life issues common to us all, Shapiro takes you through the steps of his systematic approach: The Three Ps, Prepare-Probe-Propose.
Learn how to use the process to empower you in negotiations. Regardless of your level of experience or the extent of your confidence, you will get what you want while building stronger relationships for the future. This updated edition contains:
- Significant new material including an expanded view of its applicability to a broad array of business and life challenges
- a new streamlined version of the Preparation Checklist
- a more precise understanding of the concept of WIN-win
- forewords by Cal Ripken, Jr., and Ambassador Charlene Barshefsky, and an Epilogue highlighting negotiation lessons from the life of Nelson Mandela
The book also provides a link to reinforcement of its lessons through the website of the Shapiro Negotiations Institute.
Whether you are negotiating with, among others, a customer or client, a boss or government official, or even setting a teenager's curfew or getting a last seat on an airplane, this invaluable guide will help you read the other side and bring the power of human psychology and a time-tested process to the negotiating table. If you're tired of uneven "compromise" and the feeling of being manipulated, turn the tables for good with The Power of Nice, and learn strength from the master himself.
Table of Contents:
Foreword to the Revised Edition by Ambassador Charlene Barshefsky xi
Foreword to the First Edition by Cal Ripken, Jr. xiv
Acknowledgments xvi
Introduction: Why Change What Works? 2
1 Negotiation 5
“I’ll Burn That Bridge When I Come to It” 5
Your First Deal 7
What Negotiation Isn’t 11
Filling the Negotiator’s Toolbox 18
What Negotiation Is 19
What Negotiation Can Be 23
Refresher 26
2 I Win–You Lose Negotiation—An Exercise in Flawed Logic 29
Enemies and Entrenched Positions 29
Hit and Run 32
I’m Not One of Them, Am I? 35
At Least One Dissatisfied Party 43
Refresher 45
3 WIN–win Negotiation 47
Myth and Reality 47
Achieving WIN–win 49
Good Deals Echo, They Lead to More Deals 51
WIN–win Is Not Wimp–Wimp 52
Roadblocks, Minefields, and Wisdom 55
Putting It Together 57
Refresher 64
4 The Three Ps—A Systematic Approach 67
Prepare, Probe, and Propose 70
Refresher 79
5 Prepare… or Else 81
Preparation: The Aerobics of Negotiation 81
How Prepared Are You for Your Negotiations? 82
The Numbers and Letters Game 83
The Numbers and Letters Game Continued… 84
How to Prepare (and How Not To) 87
The Preparation Checklist 89
A Case Study: The Sur-Real Sales Challenge 97
Confidence Is the Secret Weapon (But the Real Secret Is That Preparation Is the Key to Confidence) 104
Sources of Information 105
Refresher 110
6 Probe, Probe, Probe 113
The Other Side Is Trying to Tell You How to Make the Deal 113
W.H.A.T.? The Probing Technique 120
The Don’ts—How Not to Probe 126
Listening 128
The Zoologist 133
Learning to Listen 135
Refresher 138
7 Propose–But Not Too Fast—Getting the Other Side to Go First 141
Role Playing 141
Proposing for Real 146
The Three Rules Behind Propose 149
Making Counterproposals 153
Refresher 158
8 Difficult Negotiators 161
… And the Award for Most Difficult Negotiator Goes to … 162
Dealing with the Difficult Negotiator (without Becoming One) 166
Emotional Tactics—Nonemotional Responses 170
Challenging Personalities 173
Refresher 177
9 Negotiating from Weakness 179
Perceived Weakness versus Real Weakness 179
Expand the Goals 181
Locate Allies 182
Never Let Them See You Sweat 185
Brainstorming 187
Refresher 192
10 Unlocking Deadlocks 195
If Nothing Works, Change Something 195
Find Reasons to Agree 200
Get Creative 200
Objective Mechanisms 205
Sometimes No Deal Is the Best Deal 209
If Deal Fever Persists, Keep Saying “No” 209
Refresher 216
11 Building Relationships 219
Today versus Tomorrow: How Long Is the Long Run? 219
A Relationship Tool: Bonding 221
The Meet-and-Bond Style 222
Rebonding 225
No Faux Bonding 227
Practice Makes Bonding 228
The Value of Relationships 231
Refresher 234
12 Putting It All Together 237
The Major League Baseball Owners versus the Major League Umpires (and the Major League Umpires versus Themselves) 237
Refresher 244
Epilogue: Nelson Mandela—When the Power of Nice Changed a Nation 247
Reinforcement Tools Link 251
Post-Negotiation Assessment Questionnaire 253
Negotiator’s Toolbox 255
Index 257
About the Author :
RONALD M. SHAPIRO is founder of the Shapiro Negotiations Institute, a negotiations seminar and consulting firm which offers training programs and deal coaching worldwide. He has had a rich and varied career as a civil rights and corporate lawyer, state Securities Commissioner, sports agent, entrepreneur, community leader, and business executive. He advises an array of corporate and political leaders and team executives, has represented Hall of Fame players, helped settle a major symphony orchestra strike, diffused racial tension in a metropolitan police department, raised millions of dollars for charitable causes, and assisted in ending Major League Baseball's historic labor deadlock. In addition, he is a New York Times bestselling author and his books include Bullies, Tyrants, and Impossible People; Dare to Prepare; and Perfecting Your Pitch.
JAMES DALE is an author/marketing consultant whose work includes books, articles, radio, television, sports, technology, public relations and advertising.
SHAPIRO NEGOTIATIONS INSTITUTE is a premier global provider of sales, negotiation, and influence training and consulting. Its success is built on helping professionals at all levels use a systematic approach to accomplish more, faster, and with a higher degree of effectiveness. By taking more than 50 years of lessons learned in real-life situations, the Institute's team digs into specific industry and client challenges, so its tools and techniques can be implemented immediately with precision.
