"Dives deep into the psychology of information and emotion in conflict situations . . . Highly recommended for facilitators and negotiators as well as mediators." -Jennifer Beer, author of The Mediator's Handbook and negotiation instructor at Wharton School, University of Pennsylvania
Knowing how to formulate and ask incisive questions to get to the core of a conflict, challenge entrenched thinking, and shift perspectives is the key to successful conflict resolution. The Mediator's Toolkit employs the author's powerful "S Questions Model" to provide readers with the skills and tools to do just that. It addresses four dimensions of successful questions for mediation: the subject matter dimension, the structure dimension, the information-seeking dimension, and the shifting thinking dimension. The toolkit clearly explains:
- The theory behind each question type, including exploration of relevant neuroscience and psychology
- The purpose of different types of questions
- How the questions work
- When to use different types of questions
- How to build and apply questions to mediation in a non-threatening way
This essential practical guide will radically sharpen, focus, and improve the questioning skills of qualified mediators, students, lecturers, trainers, and those using questions to challenge and effect change, in any context.
Table of Contents:
Acknowledgments
Glossary
Introduction
Book Content
Terminology
Sequences of Questions
SECTION I: The S Questions Model — Theory
Chapter 1: Introduction and Purpose of the S Questions Model
The S Questions Model
Premise on Which the S Questions Model Has Been Developed
Outline Summary of the Model
The S Questions Model
The Purpose of Mediation Questions
Perspective and Paradigm
Chapter 2: How We Process and Communicate Information
How Information Is Processed
Factors That Contribute to the Information That We Process
The NLP Model of Communication
Our Created Paradigm Becomes Our Reference Point for Interpreting Information
How We Communicate Information to Others
Distortion, Deletion and Generalization When Communicating to Others
The Surface Structure Language We Use When We Communicate with Others
Using Mediation Questions to Create a Paradigm Shift
Chapter 3: Working with the Brain in Mediation
The Brain
Working with the Avoid-threat Reflex in Mediation
SECTION 2: Practical Application of the S Questions Model
Chapter 4: Methodology to Minimize an Avoid-threat Reflex When Asking Questions
Methodology
Chapter 5: The S Questions Model Applied to a Mediation Process
Reflective Preparation for Questions
The S Questions Model
S Questions Model Applied to Initial Separate Meeting
S Questions Model Applied to Joint Meeting
SECTION 3: Practical Application of S1, S2 and S3 Questions
Chapter 6: S1: The Subject Matter Dimension of Questions
Chapter 7: S2: The Structure Dimension of Questions
Chapter 8: S3: The Seeking Information Dimension of Questions
SECTION 4: Practical Application of S4 Questions
Chapter 9: Introduction: The Eight Types of S4: Shift Thinking Dimension of Questions 91
S4: The Shift Thinking Dimension of Questions
Chapter 10: S4: Journey of Inference Questions
S4: The Shift Thinking Dimension of Questions — Journey of Inference Questions
How Do Journey of Inference Questions Work?
When to Ask Journey of Inference Questions
Methodology
Chapter 11: S4: Neuro-Linguistic Programming Questions
S4: The Shift Thinking Dimension of Questions — Neuro-Linguistic Programming Questions
How Do Neuro-Linguistic Programming Questions Work?
When to Ask Neuro-Linguistic Programming-based Questions
Methodology
Chapter 12: S4: Distinction and Difference Questions
S4: The Shift Thinking Dimension of Questions — Distinction and Difference Questions
How Do Distinction and Difference Questions Work?
When to Ask Distinction and Difference Questions
Methodology
Chapter 13: S4: Reflective Connecting Questions
S4: The Shift Thinking Dimension of Questions — Reflective Connecting Questions
How Do Reflective Connecting Questions Work?
When to Ask Reflective Connecting Questions
Methodology
Chapter 14: S4: Cognitive Elements-based Questions
S4: The Shift Thinking Dimension of Questions — Cognitive Elements-Based Questions
How Do Cognitive Elements-based Questions Work?
When to Ask Cognitive Elements-based Questions
Methodology
Chapter 15: S4: Other People Questions
S4: The Shift Thinking Dimension of Questions — Other People Questions
How Do Other People Questions Work?
When to Ask Other People Questions
Methodology
Chapter 16: S4: Underlying Interests Questions
S4: The Shift Thinking Dimension of Questions — Underlying Interests Questions
How Do Underlying Interests Questions Work?
When to Ask Underlying Interests Questions
Methodology
Chapter 17: S4: Future Focus Questions
S4: The Shift Thinking Dimension of Questions — Future Focus Questions
How Do Future Focus Questions Work?
When to Ask Future Focus Questions
Methodology
Endnotes
Index
About the Authors
A Note about the Publisher
About the Author :
Gerry O'Sullivan is a mediator, trainer, and facilitator with over 30 years of experience in conflict resolution and training. She is an advanced member of the Mediators' Institute of Ireland (MII) and is a member of the US-based Mediators Beyond Borders Consultants Team. She has delivered training internationally with Lawyers Without Borders, in partnership with the Director of Training from CEDR, UK. Gerry delivers accredited Certified Professional Mediation Training in Ireland and has delivered mediation training for the University of Limerick's Masters in Peace and Development program, and she was involved in the development of mediation training in the Law Faculty of Griffith College, Ireland. Gerry is Director of O'Sullivan Solutions and she lives on the southwest coast of Ireland.
Review :
"All the most important conflicts we face today, from war and politics to workplace and domestic disputes, are sparked by the brain's responses to conflict. In the last few years, groundbreaking neurophysiological research has led to profound new understandings of how the brain works, and to immensely creative, powerful new ways of responding to conflict. Gerry O'Sullivan has written a wonderful, well-researched, fascinating and practical toolkit for mediators that offers fresh new insights into how we can help our brains discover the questions that can transform conflicts into opportunities for resolution, learning and improved relationships. It is a terrific read, and one you will relish and be grateful for." - Kenneth Cloke, mediator and author of The Dance of Opposites: Explorations in Mediation, Dialogue and Conflict Resolution Systems Design.
"An invaluable analysis, not merely of questions, but of a range of process interventions, to equip mediators in all sectors to deepen the effectiveness of their work with people in dispute. Mediators have to work in the moment, exercising their intuition in a flash as to what to do next and how. This book will help to develop the internal base from which such intuitive insights emerge." - Tony Allen, Mediator and Senior Consultant to CEDR, London
"As a mediator and trainer this is a must have book. It fills a gap in the literature that has long been ignored but goes to the heart of mediating conflicts. The Mediator's Toolkit: Formulating and Asking Questions for Successful Outcomes strikes the right balance between theory and practice making sure mediators know what to ask; why these questions are important; and the theoretical foundations of the cognitive shift the questions seek to initiate. O'Sullivan's examples and cases are reflective of a mediator's reality making the toolkit a valuable book to buy in hardcover and keep on the desk." - Dr. Juan Diaz-Prinz, Mediator and Trainer in Conflict Management, Berlin, Germany "The Mediator's Toolkit stands out among all teaching, self-help and learning books for mediators (professionals and wanna-bes), and their trainers, because it touches the part of mediator's art which most professionals only reach through sweat and blood during many mediations: the art of knowing how, when and why to ask the timely felicitous questions. This is revealed masterfully in the 'S Questions Model' developed by O'Sullivan. This book will immediately go to the must-have/reading lists and will become one of my everyday reference books. The content is so well organised, it is an easy-to-use source of information and an inspiration for creative mediation work." - Irena Vanenkova, international mediator, Moscow, Russia; director, Singapore International Mediation Institute; former executive director, International Mediation Institute
