About the Book
Correct the power imbalances in your work and life with a science-backed practice that combines the rigor of Stoic philosophy with the relational impact of empathy.
Stoicism combined with empathy may sound like a contradiction in terms. But when these seemingly opposing forces are harnessed together, they have the power to change your life.
From surviving missile attacks and political oppression in Iran to leading high-stakes legal teams and negotiations in corporate America, Shermin Kruse's journey fuels her mission to merge empathy and stoicism as tools for navigating power, justice, and human connection in every facet of life. In this eye-opening book, she offers you this radical perspective shift—anchored in up-to-the-minute research—to help you navigate life's challenges with power and principles.
We often think of empathy as an emotional stance: we feel what someone else is feeling. But Kruse outlines a form of empathy that’s based in cognition, not emotion—a way for us to understand what the other person is thinking and feeling while keeping a distance from their feeling state—and shows us how we can strategically maneuver our level of engagement from “emotional empathy” to “cognitive empathy” in different circumstances. Then she utilizes Stoic philosophy and modern science to outline the how of emotional regulation and control. The bridge she builds between Stoicism and empathy gives us the knowledge and discipline we need to:
· Calmly assess the power dynamics of any situation
· Understand and manage our own emotions as well as the emotions of others
· Defuse danger and turn conflict into connection
· Skillfully steer a challenging conversation toward the result we want
Whether you're a leader striving to succeed in your role with integrity, an educator seeking to guide curious minds with compassion, a parent nurturing resilience in your children, or simply facing a personal or professional crossroads, Stoic Empathy is an essential toolkit for negotiating success in every area of your life.
Table of Contents:
Stoic Empathy: The Road Map to a Life of Influence, Self-Leadership, and Integrity
Contents
Chapter One: What is Stoic Empathy
Chapter Two: Cognitive v. Emotional Empathy
Chapter Three: 3 Concrete Tools of Strategic Empathy
Chapter Four: The Advanced Tools of ‘Mirroring/Repeating’ and ‘Probing Questions’
Chapter Five: Stoicism Before It Went to Hollywood, Buddhist Control Over Suffering, and the Inner Citadel
Chapter Six: Aspects of Emotions and Your Power Over You
Chapter Seven: 3 Concrete Tools of Stoicism
Chapter Eight: 2 Advanced Stoicism Tools, Memento mori and moral courage
Chapter Nine: Stoicism and Empathy, Expert Level
Chapter Ten: Ethics, Lies, and the Big Why
About the Author :
Shermin Kruse is an award winning idea curator, global change-maker, complex-system negotiator, lawyer, speaker, and storyteller. Shermin has nearly two decades of experience working in competitive strategy and game theory applications, corporate and community advocacy, brand protection and augmentation, as well as dispute resolution for individuals, public-company boards of directors, international corporations and Fortune 500 Companies. Shermin also has a decade of parallel experience producing thought-leadership events, including TEDx conferences and a network of salon series. She teaches Negotiating with Tactical Empathy, Global Transactions, Cross-Border Deals, and Leadership at Northwestern Pritzker School of Law.
In addition to her professional accomplishments, Shermin is a mother of four, living in the heart of Chicago. Her personal journey from the war-torn streets of her native Tehran to the elite corporate boardrooms of the world informs her deep commitment to fostering empathy, control, justice, and global understanding.
www.sherminkruse.com
Review :
“A radical approach to influence rooted in ethical strength. Kruse’s synthesis of stoicism and empathy offers a road map for anyone navigating complex power dynamics. This book is a profound blend of philosophy, personal story, and actionable insights that will inspire readers to lead with both heart and mind.”
— Dr. Mike Dow, New York Times best-selling author of The Brain Fog Fix
“Kruse encapsulates so many of the lessons that I teach my teenage children in this book. Two things can be true at the same time in that you can be both disciplined and tough and care for the people and the world around you. The resilience she has shown throughout her life supplemented by her ability to show empathy and compassion for the world around her is a great example for us all to live by.”
— Pete Kadens, former CEO of Green Thumb Industries
“Shermin Kruse offers a master class of what Stoic Empathy is and how to harness this soft skill into something that translates across public and private sectors. Her ability to explain the manner in which leadership is born of compartmentalizing thoughts and actions based on what others need to achieve best outcomes is insightful. Kruse’s book spoke to me as a leader, a woman, and a change agent. For those who lead people and value leading change, this is a must-read.”
— Amrith Aakre, director of the U.S. Equal Employment Opportunity Commission’s (EEOC) Chicago District
“Stoic Empathy might seem like a contradiction at first, but as you immerse yourself in Shermin Kruse’s labor of love, the brilliance of her vision becomes clear. Epictetus, Seneca, and Stockdale would surely applaud this delightful and insightful book, masterfully crafted for the modern world. I am proud to be part of her community.”
— Marie P. Anderson, renowned modeling agent for Cindy Crawford, founder of Boss Babe
Models, and former vice president of Elite/Chicago models
“A powerful reminder of what it truly means to be brave in the face of life’s paradoxes. Stoic Empathy is more than a book—it’s a guide for navigating the complexities of modern life with resilience and an open heart. Shermin doesn’t just teach you how to stay grounded amidst chaos; she shows you how to lean into your emotions with courage, grace, and intention.”
— Dr. Neeta Bhushan, author of That Sucked. Now What? and host of The Brave Table podcast
“Stoic Empathy is as much a solution to the modern problem of chronic burnout as it is a title. Kruse cruises through a sweeping and compelling personal story rich in philosophy, ethics, and pragmatism. I could say that it borders on spirituality, but it might suffice to note that I would recommend this volume for its utile techniques of effective Method acting.”
— Harry Lennix, actor
“Teaching graduate students at Notre Dame, I often share ‘life lessons’ about managing influence and integrity. Shermin Kruse’s Stoic Empathy resonates with those teachings, offering a fresh and essential tool kit for anyone aiming to lead with both wisdom and empathy. Kruse combines philosophical insight with actionable strategies, guiding readers to cultivate a measured yet compassionate approach to leadership. This book is an indispensable resource for educators, leaders, and anyone committed to ethical self-leadership in an ever-changing world.”
— Greg Hedges, adjunct faculty, University of Notre Dame Mendoza School of Business, and president and CEO of the National Association of Corporate Directors Chicago Chapter
“In Stoic Empathy, Shermin Kruse delivers a bold and practical guide for leaders who know that real influence starts with real connection. Her blend of stoicism and empathy isn’t just compelling—it’s actionable. As someone committed to empowering young people, I was blown away by how Kruse breaks down complex ideas into strategies you can use immediately to foster trust, build resilience, and create meaningful change. Whether you’re mentoring, leading a team, or working with at-risk youth as I do, this book gives you the tools and mindset to make a meaningful impact.”
— Josh Shipp, youth advocate and best-selling author of The Grown-Up’s Guide to Teenage Humans
“Shermin Kruse brings ethics to life in a way that’s both practical and powerful. Kruse’s clear and relatable approach shows how empathy and strength can work together to make a real difference in your life and the world around you. Stoic Empathy weaves timeless wisdom with real-world examples to help anyone lead with integrity and purpose. This is an essential guide for anyone who wants to be a change-maker, not as a tyrant, but with heart and courage.”
— David Ambroz, best-selling author of A Place Called Home
