Bonnie"

Let me introduce myself: I am Bonnie, a young woman with a handicap. Because of my illness, I have had many operations. As a result, I felt confined and restricted by my illness, which could, at any moment, engulf me once again. I was pushed into a corner, and I often thought that the world didn't understand me. Few realized how much I longed for a normal life with normal feelings and needs. Everybody looked upon me as a sickly woman who had to play the part. It came to the point that I was so tied up with my emotions I knew I couldn't go on as I was. I had to release myself from my cage. I wanted to sort out my problems, and gradually, the idea of writing my life's story came to be. It would be a difficult task because I have trouble with reading and writing, but I had to prove that in spite of my illness, I could achieve something.

Every day, my husband, Adam, wrote down what I related to him. It was a disturbing time for us because it brought back many memories. We knew that we had to continue putting the facts in a row; this is what made my life the way it was. It was a puzzle, and I had to bring all of the pieces together.

I consider myself a lucky person because by telling my story and having it put on paper, I found a way to let my feelings out. The further I got into the book, the more I felt the stress slide off me. I have had the chance to take a clear look at my life. It is like a sad movie: the second time you watch it, you are less emotionally touched by it. Through telling, writing, reading, and rereading my story, I have finally found where my faults lie. I understand why I was abandoned by so many people; I wasn't always good company to be with. The most important part is that I have accepted my life the way it is. I can't change the fact that I depend on a drain to live, but I can still make the most out of every moment of every day. My puzzle is finished, my tension has gone, and I have reached my goal. I can start the New Year with a clean slate.

- Bonnie