Restorative Practices of Wellbeing

Drawing on cutting-edge neurophysiology and ancient awareness practices, a pioneering connection phenomenologist maps a medicine of the ancestral future. The landmark Adverse Childhood Experiences study, the largest epidemiological study of trauma ever done, suggests that more than two thirds of American adults are carrying trauma from early childhood adversity. Yet the study did not even conceptualize social trauma: the impacts of racism, sexism, and other forms of structural oppression, or ecological trauma: the trauma of being disconnected from the Living World. By this metric, almost all modern people are traumatized. Trauma activates the toxic stress response, which translates to a wide variety of stress-related adverse health outcomes later in life. It shapes how we feel in our bodies, our emotional landscape, and structures the thoughts we are able to think. It shapes how we see ourselves, how we interpret the world, and the behaviors available to us. For the two million years that humans have lived on earth, we have sought to nourish thriving in our children by creating a kind of developmental nest for them. For humans, this nest is of culture and its function is to connect us with three things: ourselves, one another, and the Living World. When this is done properly, the human nervous system becomes baselined in safety and connection, turning on the Connection System, the physiological fountain of wellbeing and resilience. Over the past 10,000 years, humans have deviated from this ancestral nest at an accelerating rate, which has intensified over the past 500 years. Most modern humans therefore do not feel safe, and are therefore not able to reside in the biology of wellbeing. Humans who are disconnected do not care for themselves, one another, or the Living World. In this pioneering volume, connection phenomenologist Gabriel Kram addresses two fundamental practical questions: how do we address the trauma and disconnection endemic to the modern world, and how do we turn on the Connection System? Marrying cutting-edge neurophysiology with awareness technologies from a wide variety of traditions and lineages, this book maps a novel approach to the creation of wellbeing informed by the most cutting-edge science, and the most ancient of awareness practices. It teaches over 300 restorative practices of wellbeing to connect with Self, Others, and the Living World. Learn practices for Assessing your defensive responses Down-shifting threat responses Turning on your Connection System Weaving Mindfulness into daily life Fine-tuning your senses Becoming more embodied Developing non-cognitive Ways of Knowing Building Healthier relationships Relating Across difference Connecting deeply with Nature  Opening to creativity Using language restoratively For anyone who has faced a difficult childhood, grown up with a sense that there is something missing in the modern world, or yearns for deeper connection with Self, Others, or the Living World, this book provides a map to a (r)evolutionary approach to wellbeing so ancient it hasn't been invented yet.

Table of Contents:
Contents Glimpses of Home   1 Glossary 11 The Origin Story 24 Core Neurobiological Self 34   PRACTICES Polyvagal Restorative Practices Healing Neglect          55 Coming out of Shut Down       60 Coming out of Flight   84 Coming out of Fight    97 Learn to Set Boundaries         109   Self-Care Turning on the Connection System     121 Hacking the Connection System         124 Smile   125 Making Faces  130 Use Your Voice            135 Play an Instrument      136 Find Your True North  139 Tell Your Story            141 Be Yourself      144 Self-Compassion         145   Train Your Attention Practice Quieting Your Mind  151 Assess, Down-Shift, Connect   156 Learn to Breathe         159 Smile Inside     161 Emotional Yoga           162 Working with Betrayal and Other Emotions That We Do Not Want to Feel            170 Allow Yourself to Grieve         176 Heartfulness    178 Gratitude Practices     180 Befriend the Stone People      183   Awaken Your Senses Stare Vacantly into the Distance        185 Make Eye Contact       185 Vista Views      186 Light Therapy  189 Owl Ears          190 Inhale  196 Savor Delicious Aromas          198   Embodiment Feel Your Feelings       201 Stretch 203 Dance  204 Yoga    206   Move Smile When You Exercise       211 Ride the Waves           212 Bicycle 214 Lift Weights     216   Use Your Hands Knit Something            223 Throw a Pot     225 Garden            227 Paint    230   Nourish Cook for Yourself        239 Eat Seasonally 239 Tea      241 Don’t Drink that Stuff  243 Visit a Farm     244 Tidy Up Your Nest       246 Learn Feng Shui          247 Create a Restorative Ambiance         251 Read    252 Take a Nap      254   Connect with Others Restorative Justice      257 Hold Tight to Littles    261 Ancestral Connection  266 Figure out who Lived Here Before You Arrived         270 Make Reparations      275 Talk to Folks You Ordinarily Don’t      278 The Cure for Loneliness          283 Storytelling      293 Build Friendships with People Who are Different From You          294 The Space Between Us           301 Examine How You Use Language       302 Common Ways of Disconnecting        304 Reflective Listening    305 Strengthen Empathy   307 Understand the Realness of Others    310 Build Multi-Cultural Communities     311 Get to Know Your Neighbors  313 Host Dinner Parties     315 Mentor Someone        317 Learn to Box    319 Visit a Country Where You Don’t Speak the Language    321   Connect to Nature Open the Window       328 Campfires       330 Learn to Make Fire     331 Sit Spot            333 Bird Language 337 Tracking          341 Living Water   342 Get to Know Your Local Flora and Fauna       344 Observe Closely          345 That Which Feeds Us  347 Study the Pattern Language of Nature           349 Touch the Ground       350 Forest Bathing 353 Forage 355 Explore Transition Zones        360 Take the Unpaved Road          361 Walk a Field of Flowers          361 Look Up           363 Free Dive         363 Sleep Outside  365 Balance Rocks 370 Nature Faces   371 Stand Outside in a Storm        372 Watch the Sunrise       373 Follow the Phases of the Moon          374 Stargaze          375 The Concept of Enough           379 Patience          380 Epilogue 387 Acknowledgments 401