"Numb is my favorite flavor."
It's Messy in Here is a raw and darkly funny memoir about surviving cross addiction in all its guises-pills, booze, food, sex, shopping, chaos-and the relentless chase for self-worth through all the wrong things.
From bulimic teen beauty queen to coke-fueled NFL cheerleader, one-hit wonder Mexican pop star to blackout Hollywood writer, Cyn Posner has lived on both sides of the glitter: through the shiny promise of success and the wreckage when it all comes crashing down. What looks perfect on the outside hides the spirals, secrets, and compulsions beneath.
Told in sharp, unfiltered vignettes, It's Messy in Here is part cultural critique, part confession booth, part survival story. It lays bare the ways addiction sneaks into every corner of modern life, the messy, reluctant crawl out of it, and the contradictions of being human-wanting to escape and wanting to belong, craving chaos and craving calm, running from yourself and finally facing the mirror.
Enter at your own risk. The floor is slippery.
About the Author :
Cyn Posner is a bilingual writer reared within two cultures, merging her Mexican mother's warmth and magic with her American father's sharp pragmatism. She was raised in an ashram in Florida, studied fine arts at University of South Florida, and after a brief stint as a Mexican pop singer made her way to New York City, then Los Angeles. In Hollywood, Cyn wrote her first feature, Undateable John, for Amazon through Joan Jett's Blackheart Films.Her debut novel, Escape to Mexico was inspired by the magic, meltdowns, and reinvention that come with starting over. She now spends time writing plays for the San Miguel Playwrights, blogging Substack essays on sobriety, and speaking at twelve-step meetings in between yoga retreats.
Review :
"Cyn Posner's tell-all, It's Messy in Here, is an explosive cocktail of sex, drugs, and a fair share of rock and roll rolled into a freight train of a narrative. It reads like that moment of clarity of one's life passing before their eyes as they draw their last breath, a whole sloppy, unedited mess of a lifetime laid bare. Happily, Cyn has lived to tell this dark and ofttimes funny tale. Alcoholics Anonymous is a catchall for all the addictions Cyn has mastered in her merit badges of debauchery, all the while conquering the entertainment world in ways that the rest of us can only dream of. Which is why her life isn't anything like a train wreck. Behind the self-help aspect of this cautionary tale there dwells a very clever and insightful writer, who, short of passing out in some stupor, has kept a watchful eye on who she is-a flawed, immensely talented, insecure being who has an instinct for survival and a sense of humanity that transcends the show in show business-a writer who reminds us that as much as it's messy in here, it's just as messy out there." -P. David Temple, author of Five Times Lucky
"She had it all, looks, brains, talents, and opportunities. She also was plagued by multiple addictions. Destined to be the definitive study of cross-addiction, Posner spares no details describing the agony of her alcohol, drugs, sex, love addiction, and eating disorder. She also shares her ultimate recovery in a tale that is a must-read for any addict seeking help or people striving to understand one." -Francis McNear, author of Taking Care of the Caregivers and Defeating Dementia
"It's Messy in Here is Cyn Posner's courageous memoir about her yearslong battle with various addictions and search for healing. Through her journey of sobriety and self-discovery, Cyn comes to value herself and the long road she has traveled to find peace in her life. This survival story unleashes the unspoken nightmare of cross-addictions, and the numbing cycles of self-loathing, while pursuing the road to recovery. . . . In sharing her healing journey, Cyn has given a gift to anyone searching for hope in a misaligned world of superficial beauty, fame, glitz and materialism. Taking the time to ponder the questions at the end of each chapter will allow readers to sit with their own mess, accept it, and find a way to move forward towards hope."-Kenneth Allen Burr, MA, LMFT, author of Taillights on the Road to Healing and Coming Out, Coming Home: Making Room for Gay Spirituality in Therapy
"It's Messy in Here is a journey of addiction and sobriety told in a sometimes serious and oftentimes witty way. Cyn covers topics such as her battles with an eating disorder, addiction, difficult family dynamics, and her honest reflections on sobriety. The truth checks at the end of the chapters help the reader to review their own life and ask the hard questions. It's a great read I highly recommend."-Holly Mayes, author of Dream, Girl
"This is the book I'd want to sit next to at a party." -Ben Widdicombe, author and journalist
"For everyone addicted to something. If you've ever loved too hard, drank too much, chased perfection, or tried to outrun yourself, this book will find you."-Dave Fialkoff, editor of Lokkal.com
