About the Book
"Choose Him Wisely" is written by Ph.D. clinical psychologists with a combined nine decades of clinical and research experience working with victims of domestic violence and male abusers. Fueled by Dr. Meichenbaum's passion for protecting the women closest to him, he and Dr. Wexler created a way to help women make smart and safe decisions about their partners: a practical, user-friendly, and compact book that can help both men and women make critical decisions.
The authors dive into the stories of Gabby Petito and many other women, celebrities and everyday people alike. What questions and tools did these women miss when choosing a partner? No system for doing this is perfect--but it is vital for everyone to become equipped with the right knowledge to try and steer clear of an abusive relationship.
About the Author :
David B. Wexler, PH.D., is a clinical psychologist and the executive director of the non-profit Relationship Training Institute in San Diego. He is the author of seven books on relationships in conflict, including "When Good Men Behave Badly," "Is He Depressed or What," "Men in Therapy," and "#MeToo-informed Therapy: Counseling Approaches for Men, Women, and Couples." Dr. Wexler has authored an internationally recognized domestic violence treatment manual: the newly revised and updated "The STOP Program-Fourth Edition," released by W.W. Norton in 2020, and "The STOP Program: For Women Who Abuse-Second Edition" in 2024. He has trained thousands of community professionals, military personnel, and law enforcement officials through extensive training seminars on the STOP Program model throughout the world. More than 60,000 domestic violence offenders have now been treated by the STOP Program.
Dr. Wexler has been featured on the Dr. Phil show and the TODAY show, in the Wall St. Journal, Washington Post, "O" Magazine, Cosmopolitan, Redbook, Men's Health, and on hundreds of radio and TV programs throughout North America to help educate the public about relationships in conflict and how to resolve them.
DONALD MEICHENBAUM, Ph. D. is Distinguished Professor Emeritus from the University of Waterloo in Ontario, Canada. He took early retirement 28 years ago to become Research Director of the Melissa Institute for Violence Prevention in Miami, Florida (http://www.melissainstitute.org). He is one of the founders of Cognitive Behavior Therapy and as a result he has received many awards. He was voted "one of the ten most influential psychotherapists of the 20th century" by clinicians, as reported in the American Psychologist Journal. He has published extensively, including the Classic Cognitive Behavior Modification, Pain and Behavior Medicine, Stress Inoculation Training, Treatment of PTSD, Treatment of Individuals With Anger Control Problems and Aggressive Behaviors, Treatment of Individuals With Substance Abuse Disorders. Most recently, he has made his book Roadmap to Resilience available for free on the Internet. It has been downloaded by 50,000 individuals in 138 countries.
Dr. Meichenbaum has presented workshops in all 50 U.S. states and internationally. He is presently training psychotherapists via zoom in China.
Review :
"Quite simply, we sincerely believe that if our daughter Gabby Petito had learned about domestic violence, whether in school, through conversations, or from a book like Drs. Wexler and Meichenbaum's Choose Him Wisely, her life could have been very different.
As Gabby's parents, we reflect on all the warning signs of potential violence, clearly identified in this practical and user-friendly book. We urge all parents and grandparents to encourage their children, daughters and sons alike, to read this book before making important decisions about choosing a partner.
The authors provide clear, actionable guidance for recognizing warning signs, trusting instincts, asking important questions, observing behavior patterns, and seeking input from trusted friends or family. The book also helps explain why some victims stay in unsafe relationships, how to exit safely, and why some individuals engage in abusive behavior.
In short, Choose Him Wisely is full of compassion, wisdom, and practical information that can save lives. We strongly endorse this book in honor of Gabby's memory."
--Nichole and Jim Schmidt, mother and stepfather of Gabby Petito, Founders of the Gabby Petito Foundation I read "Choose Him Wisely" from cover to cover without putting it down. It is a must read for any woman at any age. Two great experts in the field, sharing what they have learned from years of experience. This book helps you understand what you might be feeling. Buy a dozen and give them to your relatives, friends and coworkers. They will thank you for it.
--Gael Strack, CEO and Co-Founder, Alliance for HOPE International
