Getting It, Having It, Keeping It Up: Straight Men's Sexuality in Public and Private

Scholars and social critics are looking at gender and sexuality, as well as masculinity, in new ways and with more attention to the way cultural ideologies affect men's and women's lives. With the rise of an online "incel" (involuntarily celibate) community and the perpetration of acts of violence in their name, as well as increased awareness about the complexities of sexual interaction brought to the fore by the #metoo movement, it has become critical to discuss how men's sexuality and masculinity are related, as well as the way men feel about the messages they get about being a man. Prior research on masculinity and masculine sexuality has examined the experiences of adolescent boys. But what happens to boys as they become men and as many move away from homo-social environments into sexual relationships? What happens when they no longer have a crowd of peers to posture or perform for? How do their sexual experiences and sexual selves change? How do they prove their masculinity in a society that demands it when they are no longer surrounded by peers? And how do they cultivate sexual selves and sexual self-confidence in a culture that expects them to always already be knowledgeable, desiring sexual subjects? In Getting It, Having It, Keeping It Up, Beth Montemurro explores the cultivation of heterosexual men's sexual selves. Based on detailed, in-depth interviews with a large, diverse group of  heterosexual men between the ages of 20 and 68, she investigates how getting sex, having sex, and keeping up their sex lives matters to men. Ultimately, Montemurro uncovers the tension between public, cultural narratives about hetero-masculinity and men's private, sexual selves and their intimate experiences.
 

Table of Contents:
1. Introduction   

Part I: Getting It                      
2. Getting It: Understanding Sex and Becoming Sexually Aware                          
3. Getting It: Gaining Access to Sex

Part II: Having It         
4. Having It:  Proficiency, Pressure, and Performance   
5. Having It: Desire, Relationships, and Sex

Part III: Keeping It Up
6. Keeping It Up: Sexual and Relationship Problems               
7. Keeping It Up: Maintaining Aging and Changing Bodies                
8. Wrapping It Up       
                             
Appendix 1: Descriptive Table of Research Participants
Appendix 2: Demographic Characteristics of Participants, in alphabetical order
Notes
Index

About the Author :
BETH MONTEMURRO is a distinguished professor of sociology at Penn State University, Abington. She is the author of Deserving Desire: Women's Stories of Sexual Evolution and Something Old, Something Bold: Bridal Showers and Bachelorette Parties (both Rutgers University Press).

Review :
"Grounded in extraordinarily rich interview data, this book offers a fascinating and sociologically compelling account of heterosexual men's sexuality over the life course in the United States. Montemurro's analysis speaks to numerous sociological phenomena, and is a pleasure to read."— Laura Carpenter, author of Sex for Life: From Virginity to Viagra, How Sexuality Changes Throughout Our Lives
"A timely book documenting men's stories about their own sexual lives to underscore the importance of helping men to develop healthy relationships with women, with each other and with themselves."— C.J. Pascoe, author of Exploring Masculinities: Identity, Inequality, Continuity and Change
"This book is essential reading for scholars of masculinity and sexuality. Its methods are robust, the conclusions are well supported by data, the organization is clear, and the writing style is highly accessible for both undergraduate and graduate students."— Gender & Society