Love's Not Color Blind: Race and Representation in Polyamorous and Other Alternative Communities

The issues that make monogamous dating daunting for people of color—shaming and exclusion by white partners, being fetishized, having realities of everyday racism ignored—occur in polyamorous relationships too, and trying “not to see race” only makes it worse. To make polyamorous communities inclusive, we must all acknowledge our part in perpetuating racism and listen to people of color. Love's Not Color Blind puts forward the framework—through research, anecdotal testimony, and analogy—for understanding, identifying, and confronting racism within polyamorous communities.

Table of Contents:
Dedication Foreword Acknowledgments Beginning Stuff… Disclaimer One: The “Bookening…” Disclaimer 2: Electric Boogaloo… The Format of This Book… Alternative Lifestyles Be Like… Forced Ambassadorship Presentation and the Angry Black Intentional Communities Why Does It Matter? Barriers For Entry White Feminism and Polyamory Othering Dating Preferences Breakdowns In Representation aka White People Shit Tokenism Fetishization Class… Fostering Inclusivity…For White Folks Owning Your Shit… Don’t Pander…Engage Intentional Planning Joint Events Fostering Inclusivity…For People Of Color Show Up…Or Don’t… Your Events Are Yours Make Your Own Group Start Creating 136 How I Started Creating… Creating Around Class… Creating Around Tokenism… Creating Around Othering… Creating Around Fetishization… Too Long / Didn’t Read Endnotes Index

About the Author :
Kevin A. Patterson, M.Ed., is the creator of the Poly Role Models project, an interview series that serves as a platform for the diversity of polyamorous relationship structures.

Review :
"Love’s Not Color Blind belongs on the shelf next to The Ethical Slut. For both people of color and their allies, this is a powerful offering that dismantles myths about polyamory and builds a bridge to better understanding." —Claire Foster, www.forewordreviews.com/ "Love’s Not Color Blind belongs on the shelf next to The Ethical Slut. For both people of color and their allies, this is a powerful offering that dismantles myths about polyamory and builds a bridge to better understanding." "Love’s Not Color Blind belongs on the shelf next to The Ethical Slut. For both people of color and their allies, this is a powerful offering that dismantles myths about polyamory and builds a bridge to better understanding." "Love’s Not Color Blind belongs on the shelf next to The Ethical Slut. For both people of color and their allies, this is a powerful offering that dismantles myths about polyamory and builds a bridge to better understanding." "Love’s Not Color Blind belongs on the shelf next to The Ethical Slut. For both people of color and their allies, this is a powerful offering that dismantles myths about polyamory and builds a bridge to better understanding." "Love’s Not Color Blind belongs on the shelf next to The Ethical Slut. For both people of color and their allies, this is a powerful offering that dismantles myths about polyamory and builds a bridge to better understanding." "Love’s Not Color Blind belongs on the shelf next to The Ethical Slut. For both people of color and their allies, this is a powerful offering that dismantles myths about polyamory and builds a bridge to better understanding." “Love’s Not Color Blind should be required reading for people who are sex positive, as well as those in alternative relationships or communities. Kevin A. Patterson addresses inclusivity masterfully—with humor and a gentle touch—even when the issues are challenging. This book will inspire you to engage in much needed conversations during this critical time in our history." “Love’s Not Color Blind should be required reading for people who are sex positive, as well as those in alternative relationships or communities. Kevin A. Patterson addresses inclusivity masterfully—with humor and a gentle touch—even when the issues are challenging. This book will inspire you to engage in much needed conversations during this critical time in our history." “Love’s Not Color Blind should be required reading for people who are sex positive, as well as those in alternative relationships or communities. Kevin A. Patterson addresses inclusivity masterfully—with humor and a gentle touch—even when the issues are challenging. This book will inspire you to engage in much needed conversations during this critical time in our history." “Love’s Not Color Blind should be required reading for people who are sex positive, as well as those in alternative relationships or communities. Kevin A. Patterson addresses inclusivity masterfully—with humor and a gentle touch—even when the issues are challenging. This book will inspire you to engage in much needed conversations during this critical time in our history." “Love’s Not Color Blind should be required reading for people who are sex positive, as well as those in alternative relationships or communities. Kevin A. Patterson addresses inclusivity masterfully—with humor and a gentle touch—even when the issues are challenging. This book will inspire you to engage in much needed conversations during this critical time in our history." “Love’s Not Color Blind should be required reading for people who are sex positive, as well as those in alternative relationships or communities. Kevin A. Patterson addresses inclusivity masterfully—with humor and a gentle touch—even when the issues are challenging. This book will inspire you to engage in much needed conversations during this critical time in our history." "Kevin Patterson offers a wonderful honesty about who he is, how he loves, and the difficult challenges affecting all of us around race in American society and, more precisely, race as a marker for those who participate in alternative relationship styles. The clarity of writing here is impressive, and his book contributes not simply to a dialog on polyamory, but to a larger, vital dialog on race and privilege. Love's Not Color Blind is an essential read for polyamory communities everywhere." "Kevin Patterson offers a wonderful honesty about who he is, how he loves, and the difficult challenges affecting all of us around race in American society and, more precisely, race as a marker for those who participate in alternative relationship styles. The clarity of writing here is impressive, and his book contributes not simply to a dialog on polyamory, but to a larger, vital dialog on race and privilege. Love's Not Color Blind is an essential read for polyamory communities everywhere." "Kevin Patterson offers a wonderful honesty about who he is, how he loves, and the difficult challenges affecting all of us around race in American society and, more precisely, race as a marker for those who participate in alternative relationship styles. The clarity of writing here is impressive, and his book contributes not simply to a dialog on polyamory, but to a larger, vital dialog on race and privilege. Love's Not Color Blind is an essential read for polyamory communities everywhere." "Kevin Patterson offers a wonderful honesty about who he is, how he loves, and the difficult challenges affecting all of us around race in American society and, more precisely, race as a marker for those who participate in alternative relationship styles. The clarity of writing here is impressive, and his book contributes not simply to a dialog on polyamory, but to a larger, vital dialog on race and privilege. Love's Not Color Blind is an essential read for polyamory communities everywhere." "Kevin Patterson offers a wonderful honesty about who he is, how he loves, and the difficult challenges affecting all of us around race in American society and, more precisely, race as a marker for those who participate in alternative relationship styles. The clarity of writing here is impressive, and his book contributes not simply to a dialog on polyamory, but to a larger, vital dialog on race and privilege. Love's Not Color Blind is an essential read for polyamory communities everywhere." "Kevin Patterson offers a wonderful honesty about who he is, how he loves, and the difficult challenges affecting all of us around race in American society and, more precisely, race as a marker for those who participate in alternative relationship styles. The clarity of writing here is impressive, and his book contributes not simply to a dialog on polyamory, but to a larger, vital dialog on race and privilege. Love's Not Color Blind is an essential read for polyamory communities everywhere." "Kevin A. Patterson uses everything from pop culture to scientific studies to open your eyes to a different perspective. The lens shifts from an angle of separation of sub-culture to a focus of centering. As a sex-positive event planner, I need all the tools I can get in order to ensure our events are inclusive. As the author says, 'If you aren't being actively inclusive, you are being passively exclusionary.’” "Kevin A. Patterson uses everything from pop culture to scientific studies to open your eyes to a different perspective. The lens shifts from an angle of separation of sub-culture to a focus of centering. As a sex-positive event planner, I need all the tools I can get in order to ensure our events are inclusive. As the author says, 'If you aren't being actively inclusive, you are being passively exclusionary.’” "Kevin A. Patterson uses everything from pop culture to scientific studies to open your eyes to a different perspective. The lens shifts from an angle of separation of sub-culture to a focus of centering. As a sex-positive event planner, I need all the tools I can get in order to ensure our events are inclusive. As the author says, 'If you aren't being actively inclusive, you are being passively exclusionary.’” "Kevin A. Patterson uses everything from pop culture to scientific studies to open your eyes to a different perspective. The lens shifts from an angle of separation of sub-culture to a focus of centering. As a sex-positive event planner, I need all the tools I can get in order to ensure our events are inclusive. As the author says, 'If you aren't being actively inclusive, you are being passively exclusionary.’” "Kevin A. Patterson uses everything from pop culture to scientific studies to open your eyes to a different perspective. The lens shifts from an angle of separation of sub-culture to a focus of centering. As a sex-positive event planner, I need all the tools I can get in order to ensure our events are inclusive. As the author says, 'If you aren't being actively inclusive, you are being passively exclusionary.’” "Kevin A. Patterson uses everything from pop culture to scientific studies to open your eyes to a different perspective. The lens shifts from an angle of separation of sub-culture to a focus of centering. As a sex-positive event planner, I need all the tools I can get in order to ensure our events are inclusive. As the author says, 'If you aren't being actively inclusive, you are being passively exclusionary.’” “It's incredibly hard to talk about racism with people who are not receptive to education. Kevin does amazing work in this book both centering the voices of people of color and educating white folks on privilege. His words will positively influence polyamorous communities for years to come.” “It's incredibly hard to talk about racism with people who are not receptive to education. Kevin does amazing work in this book both centering the voices of people of color and educating white folks on privilege. His words will positively influence polyamorous communities for years to come.” “It's incredibly hard to talk about racism with people who are not receptive to education. Kevin does amazing work in this book both centering the voices of people of color and educating white folks on privilege. His words will positively influence polyamorous communities for years to come.” “It's incredibly hard to talk about racism with people who are not receptive to education. Kevin does amazing work in this book both centering the voices of people of color and educating white folks on privilege. His words will positively influence polyamorous communities for years to come.” “It's incredibly hard to talk about racism with people who are not receptive to education. Kevin does amazing work in this book both centering the voices of people of color and educating white folks on privilege. His words will positively influence polyamorous communities for years to come.” “It's incredibly hard to talk about racism with people who are not receptive to education. Kevin does amazing work in this book both centering the voices of people of color and educating white folks on privilege. His words will positively influence polyamorous communities for years to come.” Smart and witty, engaging and provocative, Kevin Patterson’s outstanding book Love’s Not Color Blind is required reading for everyone who wants an inclusive polyamorous community and a deeper understanding of intersectionality. Filled with big thoughts presented in straightforward language, Love’s Not Color Blind is about race in polyamorous communities but would be a great read for anyone interested in race, sexuality, relationships, community, and social equity.” Smart and witty, engaging and provocative, Kevin Patterson’s outstanding book Love’s Not Color Blind is required reading for everyone who wants an inclusive polyamorous community and a deeper understanding of intersectionality. Filled with big thoughts presented in straightforward language, Love’s Not Color Blind is about race in polyamorous communities but would be a great read for anyone interested in race, sexuality, relationships, community, and social equity.” Smart and witty, engaging and provocative, Kevin Patterson’s outstanding book Love’s Not Color Blind is required reading for everyone who wants an inclusive polyamorous community and a deeper understanding of intersectionality. Filled with big thoughts presented in straightforward language, Love’s Not Color Blind is about race in polyamorous communities but would be a great read for anyone interested in race, sexuality, relationships, community, and social equity.” Smart and witty, engaging and provocative, Kevin Patterson’s outstanding book Love’s Not Color Blind is required reading for everyone who wants an inclusive polyamorous community and a deeper understanding of intersectionality. Filled with big thoughts presented in straightforward language, Love’s Not Color Blind is about race in polyamorous communities but would be a great read for anyone interested in race, sexuality, relationships, community, and social equity.” Smart and witty, engaging and provocative, Kevin Patterson’s outstanding book Love’s Not Color Blind is required reading for everyone who wants an inclusive polyamorous community and a deeper understanding of intersectionality. Filled with big thoughts presented in straightforward language, Love’s Not Color Blind is about race in polyamorous communities but would be a great read for anyone interested in race, sexuality, relationships, community, and social equity.” Smart and witty, engaging and provocative, Kevin Patterson’s outstanding book Love’s Not Color Blind is required reading for everyone who wants an inclusive polyamorous community and a deeper understanding of intersectionality. Filled with big thoughts presented in straightforward language, Love’s Not Color Blind is about race in polyamorous communities but would be a great read for anyone interested in race, sexuality, relationships, community, and social equity.”