About the Book
'Some Secrets Should Never Be Kept' is a beautifully illustrated children's picture book that sensitively broaches the subject of keeping children safe from inappropriate touch. We teach water and road safety, but how do we teach Body Safety to young children in a way that is neither frightening nor confronting? This book is an invaluable tool for parents, caregivers, teachers and healthcare professionals to broach the subject of safe and unsafe touch in a non-threatening and age-appropriate way. The comprehensive notes to the reader and discussion questions at the back of the book support both the reader and the child when discussing the story. Suitable for children aged 3 to 12 years.
Story is a great medium to discuss difficult topics. 'Some Secrets Should Never Be Kept' was written to ensure children are armed with knowledge if they are ever touched inappropriately; and from the first unsafe touch, a child will understand to tell a trusted adult and keep on telling until they are believed. It is an important book and one that all children need to hear. Forewarned is forearmed! This book is supported by free activities and child protection resources on our website. 'Some Secrets Should Never Be Kept' is available in 7 languages including English, Spanish, German, Chinese, Japanese, Italian and French.
Body Safety Education (also known as protective behaviours or child sexual abuse prevention education) involves so much more than focusing on stranger danger. In fact, 95% of sexually abused children will know their abuser and only 5% will be strangers. It is also crucial for children to learn that they must never keep secrets that make them feel bad or uncomfortable (in fact, we teach it's best not to have secrets in families, only happy surprises). The trouble with secrets is that they are the main tool used by child molesters to ensure children remain silent about the abuse. Ensuring the secret is kept is of utmost importance to the perpetrator. Therefore, threats and insisting no-one will believe the child is used as a way of controlling the child to be silent. Through Body Safety Education parents and children will learn the importance of there being no secrets between us.
Parents and carers need to be on the lookout for signs of sexual abuse in children and grooming behaviour which is often focused on themselves as well as their children. The answer to the question, 'How do I keep kids safe from sexual abuse?' is simple; teach them Body Safety Education from a very young age. Always use the correct names for their genitals, ensure they know that the parts covered by their swimsuit are known as their private parts, and that private means 'just for you', and consequently not for sharing. This is known as the swimsuit lesson. When you teach your child that 'your body belongs to you' you are empowering them with confidence through knowledge. Body Safety Education also involves teaching your child that no-one can touch their private parts, and if they do, they must tell a trusted adult until believed.
Kids need to be safe as well as feel safe. Teaching a child that private means 'just for you' and that their private parts are found under their swimsuit is a valuable lesson that can prevent child molestation. Approximately 1 in 3 girls and 1 in 6 boys will be sexually abused before their 18th birthday. You can help stop child abuse by teaching social and physical boundaries to kids and that some parts are not for sharing. A child needs be able to proclaim loudly and with conviction that, 'My body belongs to me', 'I am the boss of my body' and that 'From my head to my toes, I say what goes'.
About the Author :
I grew up in the Adelaide Hills, where my family ran two shoe shops. Paints and brushes were always around as my dad painted posters for the shops, copied from lettering and style manuals. I liked to copy comic characters but, really, was much more interested in making contraptions in the shed. My home town, Woodside, was close to an army barracks where soldiers were training for the Vietnam war. From inside our classroom, we heard the rattle of machine guns on the target range while Iroquois helicopters d-d-d overhead, practising fast landings and take-offs. Out of school, mates and I mucked around at the local rubbish dump, finding excellent stuff to use in our pretend combat-helmets, bits of uniform and rucksacks, ammo boxes, bullet-riddled targets, stretchers. It was hardly an artistic upbringing, but there was plenty of imagination and play. Lots of play. Oh, and lots of football. My sister, Maire - who had always been, even as a small kid, very skilled at drawing - left home to go to the South Australian School of Art. I later followed in her footsteps. I studied graphic design, and photography, but typography (lettering), was my main interest. We were also made to draw naked people, mainly women. I grew to like drawing. It was much funnier than typography. An assignment was to illustrate a story. It was a struggle. I submitted it to a publisher in Sydney. She rejected it, but encouragingly added in her letter, 'If you ever come to Sydney, drop by'. I hitchhiked up there almost immediately. This led to my first picture book, Christobel Mattingley's 'Black Dog'. I have been a freelance illustrator since 1976. For some of the early years I had part-time jobs - dish washer in a restaurant, and scraping rust off the Sydney Harbour Bridge. And doing advertising illustration - groan! One interesting job was working as a nurse's aide in a hospital for the elderly. In that role I was able to observe the human body - something artists usually do in a life drawing session. This experience has stayed with me and has affected the characterisation of my work. I live with Erica, in Melbourne. We have four grown-up children. And three little grandchildren. Jayneen (aka Jay Dale) is an experienced early years educator, author and publisher. She started her teaching career in the 1980s as a primary school teacher in rural Australia. She then moved to Melbourne and taught at a number of inner-city schools. In 1985, Jay had a change of career and became an educational editor and publisher. In the early 90s, Jay and her partner moved to Japan to work as English teachers. They lived and worked in Japan for over three and a half years. In fact, Jay's first daughter was born there. On returning to Australia, Jay began work as an educational author/packager. Since that time, she has authored and produced numerous award-winning titles for the educational publishing industry. Jay is also an accomplished children's book author, writing a number of titles for such literacy series as ZigZags, Totally Kidz, Deadly and Incredible, and a children's picture book series for Penguin. She is currently working with an educational publisher as lead author of a literacy series. Jay has written over 100 titles in that series. Jay is a mother of three daughters and was a school councillor at her local school for over seven years. This time spent in schools both as a teacher and a parent inspired her to ask the question of her community: 'What are we doing in schools to protect our children from unsafe touch?' When she realised very little was actually being done, she decided to use her authoring and publishing skills to write Some Secrets Should Never Be Kept to help parents, carers and teachers to broach the subject of self-protection and to encourage children to speak up. After the encouraging response to Some Secrets Should Never Be Kept, she realised there was a need to further build upon the idea of children not keeping secrets about unsafe touch. Jay participated in Protective Behaviours professional development and attended numerous conferences on the topic to educate herself in how to keep children safe and provide them with prevention education. Jay then went on to develop and publish a comprehensive Body Safety and Respectful Relationship Teacher's Resource Kit as well as writing several more children's books on the topics of Body Safety, consent, respect, body boundaries and gender equality. Jay's ongoing passion for the safety and empowerment of children continues today with new manuscripts and free-to-download Body Safety resources always in the wings.
Review :
"There are books that come along that are a 'must read' for your kids, and this is one of them."
... "it's really important to own this book for you and your family. It handles a very difficult (and uncomfortable) subject in a sensitive and age appropriate way and provides a chance to discuss it with your children." --tacklenappy.com/features/reviews/item/327-tacklenappy-book-review
... "there is a children's book that you MUST get if you have any children in your life. Whether they are your children or someone else's, please help make the topic of childhood sexual abuse just ever so slightly easier to broach with them by using this remarkable tool."
"GET the book, READ the book and most importantly, TALK about the book WITH your children."
"Anything that might help protect your children from the hands of a sexual predator is a priceless investment." --togetherweheal.wordpress.com/2012/11/24/some-secrets-should-never-be-kept/
"This is a skilfully written and beautifully illustrated book which covers the subject of keeping young children safe from sexual abuse. Written as a tool to help parents, caregivers and teachers broach the subject in a non-threatening way, it sensitively weaves the important facts into a story that young children will find accessible." --littleparachutes.com/book.php?id=571
"Our family has felt more empowered to address the issue of sexual abuse through having this resource, "... --momentsaday.com/protecting-children-against-sexual-abuse/
"I'm often asked for resources for children to help them protect them from possible sexual abuse. There has been nothing I could recommend. Until now."
"Melbourne author, primary school teacher and mother, Jayneen Sanders, has filled the gap by publishing a picture book for children titled 'Some Secrets Should Never Be Kept'." --melindatankardreist.com/2012/04/some-secrets-should-never-be-kept-new-book-to-help-parents-and-kids-discuss-inappropriate-touch/
