About the Book
FANGS RULE a girls guide to being a vampire - is a young Adult book for anyone between Puberty and Senility as it takes a close up look at life as a female teenage vampire in easy to follow A to Z advice for the reader, the book is also full of manga art which helps show the human world what life is like in a vampire world - - - Giving helpful advice such as how to explain to your Mom that as a teenage blood curdling denizen of the night you would like to paint your cave bedroom black without having a shouting match over why you don't like the way she painted the stalagmites bright pink to go with the large stuffed pink bats hanging from the ceiling. Everything is explained from how to polish your fangs to fashion tips and ways of climbing across a ceiling wearing a nightdress without showing your underwear. Fangs Rule is a must for every teenage vampire and from these pages you will see why Amy says "Vampires Don't Sparkle! - They Bite! Hi!
My name is Amy Mah Vampire and here are some helpful hints from my book: Fangs Rule: A Girls Guide to Being a Vampire Going out on a date: Yes we all go thought the same difficulties of what to wear, the wardrobe will not shut but I still do not have anything suitable, so after hours of searching in the end I decide to wear black as it will match my comfy shoes, ok so I have more shoes than a dictators wife but only one comfy pair and they are black, why comfy shoes? Well I have no idea where we are going so what the heck should I wear! Now comes the date bag, why can't a girl just go out, and when I say a girl I mean me, why do I have to look like I'm going for a 10 day vacation and not just a night out. So lets open the date bag and check if everything is there. 1. Cell phone fully charged. 2. Spare cash and credit card. 3. Packet of mints for after eating smelly food - er - - - - foreigners 4. Chap stick - well you may kiss him and - - . it goes with the mints ok? 5. Make up mirror, why take a mirror you ask, ..er - well if I get ship wreaked I can use it to signal for help, look it is just needed ok! 6.
Packet of tissues just in case you can not find a washroom when out. 7. Keys large bunch and no I do not know why luggage keys are on the same ring with my house keys. 8. Sun glasses, hat and 100% sun block just in case you stay out early. 9. A spare pair of panties in case I sleep over - - - er not that I am planning to sleep over - er forget it ok! Look I said stop giggling and forget it!!!! 10. Precautions and protection, nowadays it is not just a boys reasonability for protection and so a girl should also take her own protection if needed, personally I take a can of Mace and a 10 inch kitchen knife and if that fails I sink my teeth into the neck! *** The author Amy Mah (Vampire) is a well known blogger, that writes and blogs as a cynical teenage vampire: Being a vampire sounds like it should be a cool thing to be as a teenage girl, like sleeping during the day and enjoying a night life with friends, huh, no one had warned me that it also meant having to suffer Teenage Hormones for so long! I am stuck as a teenager the years may pass but I am the same age! And as to the rules, so many rules, and vampire uniforms!
Guys have long fancy cloaks that they are always tripping over and as to the Girls uniform, it is a 18th C Nightdress! The old male vampires expect a girl to walk about wearing just a see through nightdress with no underwear on!! as if that is ever going to happen!, they have seen far too many horror films! Life as a teenager is normally a living hell but even more so when you have fangs. The world is just out to get me, and not just by people trying to stake me because I have better teeth than they do!
About the Author :
Hi my name is Amy, and I am a vampire. For those who do not know me, I should point out that I used to be a feral vamp, living in the outside world raised by humans, until I was discovered and adopted into Vampire society. In the human world life was very difficult for me, I knew I needed blood but did not know how to get it, all I had was human books and films telling all kinds of stuff that was useless, like I can change into a bat, and that is so not true as I tried it and all it does is make you look stupid as you flap your arms up and down! And is the sort of thing which follows you about like a bad smell as you struggle to survive in a place where everyday could be your last as you face the living hell humans call High School. I had hoped life would be better once I was taken in to vampire society, well being a vampire sounds like it should be a cool thing to be, like sleeping during the day and enjoying a night life with friends. Huh - - . but no one warned me of the rules and that it also meant having to suffer Teenage hormones for like forever or until my new vampire family would let me grow up!. Being a vampire was not as much fun as I had hoped and the rules are just crazy like being told I have to walk about wearing a see through nightdress with no underwear, and believe me with my bust size that is so not going to happen, I have a hard enough time as it is trying to get a boyfriend without showing him what I don't have! To fill in the time between discovering where best to bite someone, to be able to climb a wall just using your finger nails and at the same time snarling at the guys below that are trying to look up you your nightdress, I decided to write A self help guide to help other teenage vampire girls, and I have called it Fangs Rule and it is written in an easy to follow A - Z format explaining everything a teenage vampire girl would need to know about living life as a modern Vampire. What is fashionable to wear when eating out? Fang maintenance & how to keep your claws sharp. Easy to understand clear advice is given to every day problems Example: When you get an urge to bite: We all get those normal urges to bite things, and I must point out it is very normal, Claws are all well and good in a fight but a bite gives the extra advantage of getting a refreshing drink at the same time. Lots of girls worry about showing their Fangs in public believing that to show your fangs is rude, but don't be shy they can be a girls greatest asset (ok second greatest asset) if a boy is being rude to you, don't just snarl at him, you bite him! You are a vampire, why do you think you have sharp teeth if not for biting.
Review :
Fangs Rule Reviews If you are tired of the constant barrage of teen Twilight-esque vampire thrillers and need a break from the norm, then Amy Mah's Fangs Rule is the vampire guide for you. Written in the very naturalistic style of an angst-ridden teenager, Fangs Rule is a book designed for teens, be they 6 years old or 600 years old. Amy is a vampire who is almost 400 years passed her thirteenth birthday, but her well-observed insights show a vampire who still suffers the growing pains as much, if not more, than her human counterparts. Imagine living in a cave that your Gran has decided would suit you if it was painted in pink? Imagine having underwear delivered that was decorated in drawings of bats - again bright pink! Try to tell yourself how you would reveal fangs without seeming rude and stand-offish to your neighbour! All these avenues and more are explored in the funny and incisive world of Amy Mah. Accompanying the text are the cute drawings from noted Manga artist, Heby Sim, perfectly complementing each and every nuance uttered by this young, all-knowing heroine. It is probably one of the most perfect collaborations ever in a children's book. Oops! Did I say Children? Yes, it could be described as a child's story, on the surface, but if you care to dig deeper, you will find that it is an incredibly funny, quirky and marvelously entertaining piece of work designed for kids of all ages. In a sandstorm of vampire literature, Fangs Rule is an oasis in the desert. One of the most interesting and highly original takes on the vampire theme. Ms Mah is definately one to watch out for. But beware, because she bites! Charles E Butler *** I love, love, love this cover. The colors are much more vibrant when you're holding the book in your hand than what you see in a picture. Plot/Characters There's not much of a plot since it's an A-to-Z guide on being a vampire. The guide is smart, funny and educational ... no matter if you are a vampire or a human. The guide is being told to you by the author herself, Amy Mah - a self-proclaimed vampire. Overall Even though I have no inclination into becoming a vampire, I loved this book. I would recommend this to everyone ... whether you enjoy a quick, fun read or want to know more about being a vampire or you like quirky humor ... this book is for you. =) MRShemery *** This is not your typical vampire story. If you are expecting hunky male vampires, then you are in for a big surprise. You won't find vampires jumping in and out of every bed they pass. You won't find murder and mayhem. What you will find is a teenage vampires journal in which she is trying to set straight all of those not so true stories you read about vampires. Amy is also trying to make you understand what it is like being a teenage girl vampire. *** Amy has written her own A to Z journal of everything you need to know about being a teenage female vampire in a human world. You will get all kinds of great information about everything and anything from fangs, biting, kissing, love, clothing, school, immortality and yes, there is a little about sex. Come on folks. Teens do know about sex whether you want them to or not. This is not an x-rated pornographic book. This is a light hearted, funny and sometimes silly account of being a teenage vampire. There are wonderful manga pictures throughout the book which were created by none other then Heby Sim. Layout and design was done by Nicholas Reardon. The book is printed like a teenager's journal so the writing is not your usual type print. It was presented like a teens writing; but I had absolutely no difficulty reading it. Throughout the book are cute little pics of bats, cats, ravens, and snakes. Each numbered page has bats on either side. It definitely adds to the affect of the book. I thoroughly enjoyed this light hearted read about vampires. I enjoyed so much; I read it in one sitting. I highly recommend this book if you are looking for something different and do not want heavy reading. I love vampire stories. Even though this was not your usual vampire setting, it was quite enjoyable and there is nothing wrong with this book for a young adult to read it. I venture they see and hear more sex on a television screen. Well, there you have it. This book would make a great gift for any teenager. Try it. You will like it. I did. Eva J. Coppersmith ""vintage vixen"" *** i am totally impressed with this book...i brought it for my niece ... she is a teenage and totally into vampires... i read it myself and found it very funny and quite interesting...the author has a good sense of humor...which is what i loved most...plus all the live and colorfully illustrations...brings such dept to the imagination and life to the book...i highly recommend this book... Amazon
