Bewitched, Bothered and Bewildered: How Couples Really Work

This book, written in plain language by an experienced, psychoanalytically-orientated therapist, is aimed at lay readers who wish to understand how couples consciously and unconsciously operate in successful and unsuccessful partnerships. It covers the central concepts involved, illustrated by (disguised) case material. The book will also be invaluable for trainers, trainees, and individual counsellors/psychotherapists wishing to extend their work into a fresh clinical area namely couple therapy. The style is lively and accessible, covering a complete range of couple issues from early union till death.By means of real people's stories it clearly demonstrates how internal and external experiences throughout development from birth to adolescence shape the style, quality, and progress of a committed pair bond. Not all couples require therapy, of course. A careful reading of this book could be sufficient to start off a change in a couple's way of thinking, such that impending problems are prevented or better managed. A summary of who might and might not need help is presented in the concluding section of the book. The author provides no easy solutions to conflict or impending break-up, but she does offer a clear model for understanding the complexity and depth of couple disharmony. Such insight may create opportunities for change.

Table of Contents:
Case Examples and Anecdotes -- Should you buy this book? What’s in it? -- Finding a mate: what are we looking for? -- Partner-seeking as job application -- How your infancy affects your marriage: separation and triangulation -- How your childhood affects your marriage: authority, gender, socialization, and adolescence -- Interlude: The abridged Oedipus and Electra myths in plain English -- The couple’s joint personality -- Imogen’s story: three basic modes of couple functioning -- The couple’s life cycle. The early years: Forming and Norming -- The couple’s life cycle. The early years: Storming and Performing -- The couple’s life cycle. The later period: middle years and beyond -- Major psychological forces affecting every couple -- Unconscious communication in domestic life -- Who needs therapy? -- What chance of success? -- Afterword -- Appendix I -- Appendix II -- Appendix III: Useful addresses

About the Author :
Wyn Bramley was Senior Psychiatric Sister at the Cassel Hospital (one of the first psychoanalytically oriented 'therapeutic communities' in the UK). She then moved into Student Counselling. Over a fifteen year period, she set up and headed the counselling service at what is now the University of Westminster, before transferring to a similar role at University College, London. During this period she qualified (1976) at the Institute of Group Analysis and Family and Marital Therapy (now Institute of Group Analysis), whilst setting up in-service training programmes with colleagues, for what was to become the national Association for Student Counselling. In 1986 she moved to Oxford, working as a trainer and clinician in both the private and NHS sectors. In the mid 1990's she set up and then directed the Master's Programme in Psychodynamic Studies at Oxford University. In 1996 she published two books expounding her non doctrinaire view of psychodynamic therapy. Pertinent to "Bewitched Bothered and Bewildered: How Couples Really Work" is her book 'The Broad Spectrum Psychotherapist' published by Free Association Books. Currently, she runs a small private practise in rural Oxfordshire.

Review :
'I salute Wyn Bramley for having written a book which manages to be both serious and playful, jargon-free yet psychoanalytically rich, as well as refreshingly accessible but still informative for seasoned practitioners. "Bewitched, Bothered and Bewildered: How Couples Really Work" embraces the best of classical psychodynamic thinking about marriage, and presents it in a highly resonant manner, infused with instantly recognisable examples from literature and from daily life. I recommend this book as essential reading for anyone who is married, or has been married, or may wish to marry.'- Brett Kahr, Chair, Society of Couple Psychoanalytic Psychotherapists and Visiting Clinician, Tavistock Centre for Couple Relationships at the Tavistock Institute of Medical Psychology, London, Author of Sex and the Psyche.Author BiographyWyn Bramley was Senior Psychiatric Sister at the Cassel Hospital (one of the first psychoanalytically oriented "therapeutic communities" in the UK). She then moved into Student Counselling. Over a fifteen year period, she set up and headed the counselling service at what is now the University of Westminster, before transferring to a similar role at University College, London. During this period she qualified (1976) at the Institute of Group Analysis and Family and Marital Therapy (now Institute of Group Analysis), whilst setting up in-service training programmes with colleagues, for what was to become the national Association for Student Counselling. In 1986 she moved to Oxford, working as a trainer and clinician in both the private and NHS sectors. In the mid 1990's she set up and then directed the Master's Programme in Psychodynamic Studies at Oxford University. In 1996 she published two books expounding her non doctrinaire view of psychodynamic therapy. Pertinent to "Bewitched Bothered and Bewildered: How Couples Really Work" is her book "The Broad Spectrum Psychotherapist" published by Free Association Books. Currently, she runs a small private practise in rural Oxfordshire.