People of colour deal with the same day-to-day pressures as everyone else, but they also face additional layers of stress and trauma due to racism, discrimination and prejudice. Still, you can learn to live well and thrive in the face of such adversity so long as you have the right tools in your arsenal.
Back Yourself will teach you how to create a new reality for yourself with guidance tailored specifically to people of colour, from a wellbeing and mental health coach who has used the same techniques to protect herself and prosper. It blends elements of the social, emotional, mental, physical and spiritual aspects of life, for a well-rounded and holistic approach to BIPOC wellbeing.
Each chapter brings together social and personal commentary with tools, tips and reflective exercises,all of which will help you to address...
- Microaggressions
- Othering and intercultural conflict
- AllyshipIdentity and colourism
- Generational trauma
... and more.
This book is more than just a guide it's a companion on your journey to resilience, healing and holistic wellbeing. The goal is for you to feel inspired, validated, and empowered, and stay that way for the rest of your life.
Table of Contents:
Introduction
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Who is this book for?
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How this book will help you
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How to use this book
Chapter 1: Managing microaggressions
- The impact of microaggressions
- Advocating for yourself
- Developing systems to self-soothe
- Take care takeaways
This chapter covers the ways that microaggressions can occur in everyday life and the impact that they can have on mental health and wellbeing. It starts with the author’s own experiences of being on the receiving end of microaggressions, the personal impact they’ve had on her, and her experience of working with clients who have experienced microaggressions. The chapter goes on to give tips on how the reader can advocate for themselves and stand in their power in the face of microaggressions. This includes guidance on how to keep psychologically and physically safe, such as how to develop a self-care plan. The chapter ends with actionable ways to self-soothe, both as a form of self-care and after-care in the face of microaggressions.Chapter 2: Overcoming othering
- What does it mean to be the other?
- Ways to embrace your uniqueness.
- Advice and tools for defeating othering.
- Take care takeaways
This chapter covers the unique experience of being othered as a BIPOC person and how it can impact one’s sense of self. The author discusses her own experiences of being othered as a Black mixed-heritage woman, particularly during her early education in the Netherlands and within previous intercultural relationships. She also shares case studies of individuals who have felt othered in education and work due to their race, ethnicity, culture or religion. The chapter then moves on to exercises designed to support the reader to embrace their uniqueness and think about ways in which their differences are their superpowers (e.g., workshopping the gifts that your heritage has given you). The chapter ends with advice and tools for taking up space when feeling othered and advice on building interpersonal connection in a range of environments (e.g., building connection in majority-white spaces).Chapter 3: Combatting cultural conflict
- The impact of a split identity
- Strategies to reframe familial disconnect.
- The positive power of cultural diversity
- Take care takeaways
This chapter covers the impact that growing up in majority-white Western spaces can have on a person of colour’s identity. The author talks about her experience of growing up as a third-culture, dual-citizenship, mixed-heritage person and some of the identity struggles that came with it. The chapter explores family conflict and some of the challenges that come with a cross-cultural identity, such as differences in educational and career expectations between parents and children. Within the chapter ,exercises and tools are provided to help reframe difference, and improve cross-cultural familial communication with parents and extended family members. This includes exercises for the readers to explore personal values and tips for positive communication with parents and extended family members. It also explores some of the many positives of growing up across cultures, and give the reader with advice to help them celebrate elements of their culture that inspire pride and joy.Chapter 4: Coping with colourism
- The history of colourism
- How to love the skin you’re in
- Resources to move past colourism
- Take care takeaways
This chapter explores the author’s experience of colourism and how it impacted her during her life, particularly during her teenage years growing up in the ‘90s and ‘00s. It gives a brief overview of colourism from both a historical and modern-day perspective, including interrelated topics such as anti-Blackness, texturism and light-skinned privilege. The chapter includes mind-body tools, such as affirmations, journalling, and self-touch, to help the reader embrace and love their skin/skin tone. The chapter guides the reader to build up a bank of people from a variety of communities that they can look up to, to encourage positive representation. The chapter ends with ways in which we can work to overcome colourism in our everyday lives, e.g., at work and with younger generations.Chapter 5: Transforming Transgenerational Trauma
- Indicators of transgenerational trauma
- Modalities for healing and growth
- Taming the stress response
- Ways to work with intergenerational healing
- Take care takeaways
This chapter overviews the author’s experience of transgenerational trauma via the transatlantic slave trade, the genocide and displacement of indigenous Americans, and the reconciliation with having European and colonial ancestry. The chapter defines secondary trauma and transgenerational trauma, and shows the impact that both can have on psychological, emotional, spiritual and physical wellbeing. It also covers intergenerational trauma and the impact that parents’ and grandparents’ experiences can have on us in the present day. The chapter covers a wide range of healing modalities (such as Mindfulness-Based Stress Reduction, support groups and body-based therapies), which can support trauma recovery, along with tools for managing one’s stress response in the moment. It concludes with a guide on how to tune it to intergenerational wisdom as part of the healing journey.Afterword
Final thoughts
Acknowledgements
Resources
Glossary
References
About the Author :
Lildonia Lawrenceis an award-winning community leader and has been a wellbeing coach and mental health practitioner for more than 13 years. Alongside her mental health qualifications in stress coaching, time-limited counselling, clinical supervision and more, she is a fully qualified and practising yoga and fitness instructor, which enables her to provide a comprehensive and holistic overview of both physical and mental health. Lildonia is also the co-host of a podcast called Intersections, which explores themes disability, race, culture, queerness, faith and more.
