Nowhere to Run
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Nowhere to Run: The ridiculous life of a semi-professional football club chairman

Nowhere to Run: The ridiculous life of a semi-professional football club chairman


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About the Book

'A funny, heartwarming story, packed with memorable characters that you'll want to cheer all the way. Ave it!' PETER KAY ‘This heart-warming, genuinely funny little book is just the thing to lift the spirits.' DAILY MAIL THE ULTIMATE FUNNY GIFT FOR FOOTBALL FANS -- On the second oldest football pitch in the world, Jonathan Sayer stands atop a beer crate to address the assembled fans of Ashton United FC. As his initial optimism begins to slip through his fingers, the new co-chairman and co-owner (alongside his dad) starts to realise the scale of the challenge ahead. Battling to keep the club afloat, a record number of games without a win sees hope turn to despair as Jonathan contends with a mutiny from a group of octogenarian supporters, constant battles with the local council and a star striker who arrives on crutches despite somehow passing his medical. As the on-pitch form continues to deteriorate and rifts appear between him and his father, Jonathan begins to make some increasingly desperate decisions: sinking his savings into an ever-spiralling wage bill, hiding in a freezing outdoor storage unit to avoid questions and even seriously contemplating bringing in a local priest to lift the 'Boxing Day Curse' by performing a late-night exorcism on the pitch. Chronicling the euphoric highs and bitter disappointments of the less glamourous side of the beautiful game, Nowhere to Run is the hilarious, heart-warming tale of life in the hot seat of a non-league football club. 'Beautifully written and engaging... funny, warm and entertaining. And stupid. Really stupid. I loved it!' MATT LUCAS 'Best captures the illogical romance of the sport. It’s about the soul of English football – something the Saudi Arabian league can’t emulate for all the money in the world.' NEW STATESMAN

About the Author :
Jonathan Sayer is an award-winning comedy playwright and screenwriter; he is the co-author of The Play That Goes Wrong (Henry Lewis, Henry Shields), Peter Pan Goes Wrong, The Comedy About A Bank Robbery, Groan Ups, Magic Goes Wrong (Penn & Teller), The Mind Mangler Member of The Tragic Circle and The Goes Wrong Show (BBC One- series 1&2). He is a writer, performer and Creative Director of Mischief Comedy. His work has been performed internationally in forty-nine territories including The West End and Broadway. As a footballer Jonathan played his only competitive game for AFC Stanley Tigers U13's in the late nineties. He was brought on as a half time substitute and substituted again shortly after gifting the opposition three goals in five minutes. After his debut Accrington Stanley ended its official ties to the team and Jonathan took the decision hang up his brand new boots for good.

Review :
A funny, heartwarming story, packed with memorable characters that you'll want to cheer all the way. Ave it! Beautifully written and engaging... funny, warm and entertaining. And stupid. Really stupid. I loved it! Eat your heart out, Sheikh Mansour. Best thing I've read about Ashton and I was born there. Chronicles, in hilariously painful detail, [Jonathan's] first season in charge of Ashton. A proper fish-out-of-water tale. This heart-warming, genuinely funny little book is just the thing to lift the spirits. Bills, bailiffs and players locked in car boots: the life of a non-League chairman. A funny book. A glorious chronicle of memorable highs, bitter disappointments and never-ending bills. Great fun. An entertaining romp about taking over and running an established Non-League club. Hilarious. A fantastic read. The book best captures the illogical romance of the sport. This is a story about people and place, about unspoken words between a father and son, about tireless volunteers, Bovril at half-time, breeze-block terraces, and warm beer drunk under corrugated iron roofs. It's about the soul of English football - something the Saudi Arabian league can't emulate for all the money in the world.


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Product Details
  • ISBN-13: 9781787636897
  • Publisher: Transworld Publishers Ltd
  • Publisher Imprint: Bantam (Transworld)
  • Height: 240 mm
  • No of Pages: 256
  • Sub Title: The ridiculous life of a semi-professional football club chairman
  • Width: 162 mm
  • ISBN-10: 1787636895
  • Publisher Date: 10 Aug 2023
  • Binding: Hardback
  • Language: English
  • Spine Width: 26 mm
  • Weight: 461 gr


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Nowhere to Run: The ridiculous life of a semi-professional football club chairman
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Nowhere to Run: The ridiculous life of a semi-professional football club chairman
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