In this raw, courageous memoir, Jo breaks decades of silence to tell the story of a life shaped by hidden trauma and the long, painful journey toward healing.
Growing up in the 1950s, in a time when abuse was unspoken and secrets were fiercely protected, Jo was harmed by someone entrusted with her care.
The damage rippled through every stage of her life, shaping her relationships, self-worth, health, and sense of identity. For over sixty years, she carried her pain alone, until the weight of unprocessed trauma finally became unbearable and she sought help, leading to diagnoses of Complex Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder and Dissociative Identity Disorder.
With unflinching honesty, Jo explores memory, silence, shame and survival. She shares not only the devastation of abuse, domestic violence, and trauma, but also the resilience forged through love, family, and the slow rebuilding of self.
Her story speaks to anyone who has ever wondered why happiness felt out of reach, why they felt different, or why the past still lived inside their body.
This book is both testimony and invitation - proof that it is never too late to seek help, to speak your truth, and to begin again.
Jo writes for those who are hurting quietly.
She sees you and healing is still possible.
About the Author :
Jo Wilcox is the author of When the mind divides, a powerful memoir documenting the trauma she endured at a young age that led to lifelong mental health challenges. She is bravely sharing her story so others who have been silent for too long may find the strength to speak up and get the help and support they deserve.
Review :
It is impossible to read this book without thinking: how much suffering can one person endure in their lifetime? But that is only part of this story. It is equally impossible to not be moved by the resilience of the human spirit, the courage it takes to heal, the persistent effort required to break intergenerational cycles, and the restorative power of love.
Yes, this story is about resilience, and a testament to what someone can endure and overcome. But the heart of this story is about family - about the potential for trauma within a family to destroy a soul, and the potential for love of family to restore it. Throughout this raw and heartfelt memoir, Jo reflects on how her love and commitment to her family, particularly her children and grandchildren, have been both a source and motivator for healing and, in some cases, for her very survival.
In my many years of work supporting victim-survivors of child sexual abuse, I have come to understand what it takes for someone to disclose the abuse they have experienced. Sexual abuse thrives on secrecy. Perpetrators of child sexual abuse know the tactics needed to guarantee this silence, and to simultaneously shift ownership of shame from themselves to the innocent children they choose to abuse. As Jo so clearly demonstrates in this memoir, the effects of child sexual abuse and the associated internalised shame can be debilitating and enduring.
Jo's courage to first disclose the abuse she experienced to her doctor, and then to other professionals, and ultimately culminating with this book, can therefore not be underestimated. Breaking the silence was something Jo was taught to fear from a very young age. And yet, Jo no longer wants to hold this fear. Rather, she wants her story to help other survivors consider if they can also let go of theirs. Jo acknowledges how long these tactics of fear, shame and secrecy left her feeling alone in her efforts to cope, understand and heal.
You will learn through this book that in spite of the lack of compassion shown to Jo by too many people throughout her life, she has not lost her ability to offer love and compassion to others. By her own admission, offering this to herself is still a work in progress. Jo is offering this memoir, despite the fear and anxiety it triggers, in the hope that other victim-survivors will feel less alone in their own experience of recovery, know that help is available and understand it is never too late to reach out for it.
In this book, Jo has shared the personal and professional support she has found helpful. This support has included specialised sexual assault counselling, a therapeutic intervention for trauma known as EMDR, understanding her diagnosis of Dissociative Identity Disorder, the power of being believed, and of course the safe, loving and supportive relationships Jo has built with her family and friends.
I thank Jo for her courage and generosity in sharing her story. I hope that the next chapter of Jo's story includes a sense of pride and satisfaction in knowing that in doing so, she has helped many others. I also hope the next chapter includes a sense of pride for all she has overcome, and that the compassion Jo holds for others extends to herself. Most of all, I hope the next chapter brings enough joy and positive experiences for Jo to finally believe that she can "trust happy".
Lisa M. Manager, Sexual Assault Service
