About the Book
This book is a toolkit designed to help you identify and prevent the things that sap your energy, so that you can free up capacity to live the life you truly want.
The term mental load has become more familiar in recent years, but the popular understanding of the concept often reduces it to managing a list of household chores and logistics. The reality is far more complex. Based on groundbreaking research from the University of Melbourne's Future of Work Lab, Professor Leah Ruppanner reveals the real toll of the mental load on women-especially mothers.
The heart of the book is the Mental Load Audit, a powerful, practical tool to help you assess where you are spending your time and attention. Take the Mental Load Burnout Quiz to find out where you rate on the scale, then use Leah's research-backed battle plan to reorient your life towards the things that matter most.
Praise for Drained
'Every woman in the Western world must read this book before they fold that next load of washing. Leah is the real deal: she writes with such warmth and understanding, and I spent a lot of this book with tears in my eyes as I felt seen and validated. But here's the thing - she doesn't just acknowledge the struggle, she gives you a road map to managing it all without everything falling apart.' Felicity Harley
'This isn't another vague lament about doing it all, being busy or overwhelmed; it's a razor-sharp, research-backed reckoning with the invisible labour crushing women across the world. Drained will make you feel seen, understood and - critically - hopeful.' Georgie Dent
'Drained will validate the lived experience of women en masse who are "working at top speed" but feel like they cannot get ahead, and its messages about the benefits of more equal distribution will enrich the lives of all those men smart enough to read it.' Wendy Tuohy
'A must-read for all women to help them reset how they spend their energy, and lead more balanced, fulfilling, joyful lives.' Eve Rodsky, New York Times bestselling author of Fair Play and Find Your Unicorn Space
'Offers an essential blueprint for happier, healthier relationships and lives.' Brigid Schulte, New York Times bestselling author of Overwhelmed and Over Work
'This book is a revelation. Buy it, read it, and recommend it!' Anne-Marie Slaughter, author of Unfinished Business
'It takes a lot to write something new about the mental load that surprises me-but Drained did exactly that. This book is a must-read for all parents! If we want to tackle the care gap and the pay gap, burnout, parents' mental health, and women's leadership, we need to understand the mental load, and we need to tackle it. And our first step is to read Drained.' Kate Mangino, PhD, author of Equal Partners
'I wish I had this wisdom twenty years ago, before I became a mum. Leah Ruppanner offers a strikingly honest, deeply validating look at the unseen burdens so many of us carry and a path toward living with more ease, agency, and joy.' Susan MacKenty Brady, CEO, Simmons University Institute for Inclusive Leadership, and Deloitte Ellen Gabriel Chair for Women and Leadership
About the Author :
Professor Leah Ruppanner is a leading sociologist at the University of Melbourne and Vanderbilt University and one of the foremost voices on gender, work and equity.
Recognised as Australia's top in field for Gender Studies (2022 and 2023) and Sociology (2023), she is the author of Motherlands (2020) and Drained: Reduce your mental load to do less and be more (2026).
As founder of the Future of Work Lab and the Gender Equity Initiative, Ruppanner's research drives real-world change in workplaces and policy. Her insights have been featured by The New York Times, The Guardian, The Washington Post, Vox and CNN, and she is the host of the acclaimed podcast MissPerceived, where she unpacks modern gender myths with data and wit.
Review :
'Every woman in the Western world must read this book before they fold that next load of washing. The mental load has suffocated me for years, and this book finally gives me the hope I've been desperately seeking. Leah is the real deal: she's spent years conducting the actual research, she's lived it herself and she's talked to many of us - she intricately understands all the bits and pieces that are crushing us. She writes with such warmth and understanding, and I spent a lot of this book with tears in my eyes as I felt seen and validated. But here's the thing - she doesn't just acknowledge the struggle, she gives you a road-map to managing it all without everything falling apart. The mental load audit is a game-changer. And yes, I'll still coiff my kid's hair for crazy hair day, but with a new mantra: good enough is good enough. They don't need to win the prize.' Felicity Harley
'Drained is the book every woman who feels like she's running on empty needs to read. Professor Leah Ruppaner has done what so few have managed: she's named, measured and mapped the true cost of the mental load. This isn't another vague lament about doing it all, being busy or overwhelmed; it's a razor-sharp, research-backed reckoning with the invisible labour crushing women across the world. With clarity, compassion and courage, Leah exposes why so many women are feeling exhausted and inadequate and shows that it's not personal failure, but a structural problem. The Mental Load Audit is a genuine breakthrough: a practical, empowering tool to reclaim energy, capacity and joy. If you've ever wondered why you're constantly tired, resentful or stretched to breaking point - this is your manual for change. Leah Ruppaner is brilliant, bold and a gift to women and men the world over. Drained will make you feel seen, understood and - critically - hopeful.' Georgie Dent
'No one has a better, and more research-based understanding than Leah Ruppanner of the double standards to which women and men are held in the home and family, and of the harmful -- no, shameful -- toll taken by the higher expectations and harsher judgments on women (especially mothers) who cannot appear to make the impossible look effortless. In Drained, Ruppanner busts the myth that women's self-imposed standards are the cause of their own distress, and replaces it with the evidence that the "invisible, boundaryless and enduring" mental load is externally imposed. This book will validate the lived experience of women en masse who are "working at top speed" but feel like they cannot get ahead, and its messages about the benefits of more equal distribution will enrich the lives of all those men smart enough to read it.' Wendy Tuohy
'Drained is a research-backed, powerful guide to managing the complex emotional burden of mental load, with practical advice that is both urgent and transformative. It is a must-read for all women to help them reset how they spend their energy, and lead more balanced, fulfilling, joyful lives.' Eve Rodsky, New York Times bestselling author of Fair Play and Find Your Unicorn Space
'Leah Ruppanner shines a bright spotlight on one of the most invisible and consequential experiences that can drive division and tax bandwidth to the breaking point: the mental load borne primarily by women that keeps family life running. Drained offers an essential blueprint for happier, healthier relationships and lives.' Brigid Schulte, New York Times bestselling author of Overwhelmed and Over Work
'This book is a revelation. Women often talk about our "mental load," but we don't really understand what it is, which means we don't know what to do about it. Drained meticulously and rigorously shows us all the different parts of that load, why we are expected to carry more of it, and how to decide what parts are actually worth carrying. Buy it, read it, and recommend it!' Anne-Marie Slaughter, author of Unfinished Business
'It takes a lot to write something new about the mental load that surprises me-but Drained did exactly that. This book is a must-read for all parents! If we want to tackle the care gap and the pay gap, burnout, parents' mental health, and women's leadership, we need to understand the mental load, and we need to tackle it. And our first step is to read Drained.' Kate Mangino, PhD, author of Equal Partners
'I wish I had this wisdom twenty years ago, before I became a mom. If you are a parent, this book is essential reading. And if you are a mother, it is indispensable. Leah Ruppanner offers a strikingly honest, deeply validating look at the unseen burdens so many of us carry and a path toward living with more ease, agency, and joy.' Susan MacKenty Brady, CEO, Simmons University Institute for Inclusive Leadership, and Deloitte Ellen Gabriel Chair for Women and Leadership
