When Words are Not Enough: Creative responses to grief

Everyone grieves for someone at some point in their lives. But how do we deal with the silence that often surrounds grief? How do we find ways to express painful feelings when words are not enough? This new book explores creative responses to grief through thirteen extraordinary individuals and a deeply personal and beautiful reflection on grief from authors Jane Harris and Jimmy Edmonds who draw on their own experience of loss, and how the death of their son has led to a creative response that is more than word bound. Jane and Jimmy’s son Joshua was 22 when he died in the road accident in Vietnam in 2011. In the years that followed they founded The Good Grief Project, a UK based charity to support other bereaved families and to promote their understanding of grief as creative and active process. This book follows their journey. It also tells the story of 13 other bereaved people who have also found a creative response to their grief. The emphasis on 'continuing bonds' and their own way of maintaining a relationship with Josh, is both emotional and practical. Echoed in the other case studies they illustrate how creativity can shape a future where the deceased still play a part even while physically absent and how this is a normal and restorative aspect of the grieving process. Grief can also be a wonderful educator with new discoveries to be had. Dotted throughout the book you will find boxes with reflections on current theories, and which explain the jargon you may hear used about grief. In the ‘Ten Things we have Learned’ the authors share the most useful things they found on their own bereavement journey. Eleven years on they have discovered how grief, although agonising, is almost by definition a creative process, one of making things anew that would not have existed had their son not died. Annalisa Barbieri, The Guardian said: “The word I keep coming back to with this book is beautiful, not a word I would usually associate with grief. But this book is rich in detail and compassion, it is authoritative and kind. Through their immense loss and pain Jane and Jimmy have done an extraordinary thing and redefined grief as love turned inside out. They make grief less scary. I have not read a better book on grief.” Jimmy Edmonds says: “In the first two years after Josh died I didn‘t want to hear about anyone else’s grief. But by making new photographs about him and my relationship with him, I found that I was better able to accept his death as real. Sharing these images and then discovering how other people were also finding creative ways of expressing their grief was crucial to regaining my own sanity.”

Table of Contents:
Contents Foreword by Dr Kathryn Mannix Introduction 1 First Steps: Jimmy Edmonds 2 Continuing bonds: Jimmy Edmonds 3 Running thoughts: Jane Harris 4 When words are all we have: Jane Harris 5 Letters to a son: Sophie Pierce 6 Impossible words: Jo Bousfield 7 Reframing grief: Jimmy Edmonds 8 Loved and lost: Simon Bray 9 What remains: Jimmy Edmonds 10 Studio wall: Gillian Melling 11 A brush with grief: Lize Kruger 12 L’Accordéon de la Mémoire: Cassie Toulouse 13 Out of time: Jimmy Edmonds 14 A doodle a day: Gary Andrews 15 Celebrating Laoise: Deirdre Nolan 16 Grief, craft and nature: Jim Clabon 17 A scintillating space: Sangeeta Mahajan 18 On social media: Jane Harris and Jimmy Edmonds 19 Stronger than my love: Jessica Carmody Nathan 20 Active grief: Jane Harris and Jimmy Edmonds 21 Secret waters: Jimmy Edmonds 22 Sea soul: Ruth Fitzmaurice 23 Just keep swimming: Billie Oliver 24 To breathe again: Jane Harris and Jimmy Edmonds Ten things we have learned Resources and further reading

About the Author :
Jane Harris is a psychotherapist and bereavement specialist with over 30 years of experience in the NHS and private practice. She is also a grief educator and public speaker. Jimmy Edmonds is a photographer and documentary film editor with over 100 TV credits including the BAFTA winning Chosen for Channel 4 and his own personal film Breaking the Silence for BBC1. Together they make films including the award winning A Love That Never Dies and have founded The Good Grief Project with the mission of supporting families grieving after the untimely death of a loved one, particularly the death of a child. During the covid pandemic they produced Beyond the Mask, a 60 minute documentary exploring the many parallels between grief and the social anxieties produced by the lockdown. They like to promote a proactive approach to grief which they encourage on their regular Active Grief Weekend retreats.

Review :
‘This is a book about sorrow, yet it is brimming with hope. This is a book about loss, but it overflows with love and generosity. The community of bereaved people is as diverse as humanity itself, and this book is a gathering of their wisdom, guided and curated by the creative talents and parental grief of Jane Harris and Jimmy Edmonds.’ Dr Kathryn Mannix, author of With the End in Mind and Listen; ‘In the absence of any collective rituals or words with which to express their loss, this wonderful and very personal book offers those who find themselves in an agonising wilderness of grief, a kind of creative map to find a way out of the isolation.’ Juliet Stevenson, Actor; ‘When Words Are Not Enough shows us that searing loss isn’t necessarily the end, but a possible beginning. It’s an exploration with whatever means one has at one’s disposal – visual arts, the written word, even wild swimming - to mark, mourn, remember, salve and to create a tangible from a loss, some order from the arbitrary.’ Greg Wise, Actor; ‘The word I keep coming back to with this book is beautiful, not a word I would usually associate with grief. But this book is rich in detail and compassion, it is authoritative and kind. Through their immense loss and pain Jane and Jimmy have done an extraordinary thing and redefined grief as love turned inside out. They make grief less scary. I have not read a better book on grief.’ Annalisa Barbieri, The Guardian; ‘When Words are Not Enough offers that rarest of bereavement resources – a visual and verbal feast and a sustained look into the heart of grief that both acknowledges the raw anguish of tragic loss and invites the reader to share a fascinating and varied gathering of responses to it. I recommend it highly to all those who mourn, and all those who strive to accompany them through the experience.’ Prof Robert Neimeyer, Director, Portland Institute for Loss and Transition; ‘When Words Are Not Enough opens up new ways of thinking and talking about grief as a creative, generative ‘state of being’ which transforms who we are and how we see the world. The result is moving and important – and a beautiful testament to love.’ Dr Lesel Dawson, Associate Professor in Literature and Culture, University of Bristol; “Such an inspiring book – full of moving stories of people who have found active ways to respond to their grief, from photography through to (my favourite) cold-water swimming. Jane and Jimmy’s ten ‘lessons learned’ about the loss of their child wisely reject any idea of ‘moving on’ or ‘closure’. Indeed, this beautifully designed creation is itself an example of what the book is all about.” Prof Sir David Spiegelhalter, Statistician, University of Cambridge