Split in Two: Reconciled through Yoga

My 8-year-old identity was splintered more than once after our family's illegal escape from New York city into a 13-year exile in communist Czechoslovakia and China. My parents, captivated and dominated by the teachings of Marx and Lenin fled the United States in the 1950's to fulfill the vision of a communist future. Uprooted, we fled from one country to the next to escape the FBI who were searching for us. We ultimately settled in Czechoslovakia. This country became the anchor for my personal roots, my friends, my culture, my security. As abruptly as we left the United States, after thirteen years without warning we returned. I had no say in whether I go back with my family or Io remain in Czechoslovakia. After my return to the States I struggled with confusion and internal chaos. Where do I belong? What is my identity? Grieving the loss of my Czech self I was resistant to Americanizing. Dependent on political forces that controlled our lives during my growing up I did not have the skills to define my own path in a country that was alien to me. I was adrift in my lack of identity, searching for my place and a way of integrating the discordant parts of myself. At age 57 I attended my first yoga class. Unsettled, unsure, awkwardly participating in an unknown world of postures and poses. Uncertain about returning for the next class I indecisively placed my hand on the doorknob to open it to go into the room; I hesitated, should I go in? Should I leave? Should I stay? And so started the most powerful and transformative relationship between my mind and my body. My relationship with yoga postures, my breath, and the study of yoga philosophy, gave me a structure for reconnecting with emotions I subconsciously suppressed as a way of surviving conflicting realities. In my final letter to my deceased parents, I write about our differing paths: mine a more private, internal one initiated by yoga; theirs an outward directed one to change the world, and how I reconciled our differences. This is my story about my fractured early experiences, and how through yoga I developed a stronger sense of self, a process that helped heal past wounds, and become one.

Review :
In her new book, Ann Kimmage has brought us one of the most stunning yoga memoirs I have ever read. The work is epic in scale-taking us from mid twentieth century Manhattan to Mexico and then Prague, and back again-all while keeping us turning the pages swiftly. We want to know how this young girl transforms a life of potentially soul-killing dislocation and trauma into a song of victory. She tells the story of yoga's transformational power without hyperbole, and with care and skill. I read it in one sitting. Highly recommended! Stephen Cope, best-selling author of The Great Work of Your Life and Yoga and the Quest for the True Self Ann Kimmage has written a powerful and poignant memoir. Her story begins with the harrowing details of her life under communism and ends with a visit to Prague's Museum of Communism, the "big experiment that left the lives of millions shattered in its aftermath." Throughout, we experience her pain and her emotional growth as she struggles to transcend the split in "languages, cultures, and belief systems" that marked her life for decades. Ultimately we witness the transformation of her life into meaningful wholeness through the practice of Kripalu yoga." This memoir is a book that must be read. Ronald Radosh, Prof. Emeritus of History, CUNY; author of The Rosenberg File and other books and articles on communism, Soviet espionage, and American politics. Ann's captivating story begins in the early 1950's with her parents who are active in the American Communist party. As the FBI closes in, they are required to escape with their children in the middle of the night behind the Iron Curtain in Prague, Czechoslovakia. When disillusioned with the Czech version of communism her parents follow their dream by moving the family to Mao's China. The uprooted children leave behind an established identity, a language, contact with extended family and friends. When back in the US adult Ann begins the work of integrating her experiences of uprootedness and loss. Urged by a friend to take a yoga class Ann begins an ever-deepening journey that challenges her to open to the past through a reconnection to her body. Following her heart and deepening her practice leads her to the Kripalu Center for Yoga and Health. Her descriptions of Kripalu and the Teacher Training program will resonate with everyone who has shared those experiences. Ann's story reveals the power of a yoga practice to heal the wounds of the body and mind. Michael Carroll Yoganand, senior faculty at the Kripalu Yoga Center