Do As I Say, Not Who I Did: Honest Advice on Hookups and Relationships in College

“Do As I Say, Not Who I Did is not subtle, delicate, or laced in metaphor. . . . It’s compelling, funny, and unflinchingly educational while delivering a stream of unconditional compassion for the reader.”—Daily Campus It’s hard to overstate how much we put pressure on early sexual encounters—and how little real advice is out there. How do I deal when I keep running into my one-night stand? How can I tell if I’m too drunk to have sex? How do I say stop when I’m not really into it? Why do I keep getting all these UTIs? And most of all: Why is so much of sex ed focused on what could go wrong instead of what actually feels good? In this unflinchingly honest guide to hookups and relationships in the twenty-first century, Ali Drucker answers these questions and more—with “been there, done that” confessional advice, plus input from experts on sexuality and from students in college today. If you missed out on shame-free, affirmative sex education . . . if you’re nervous about having sex . . . if you’re just discovering what you want (and how to ask for it)—this book is for you.

About the Author :
Ali Drucker has been writing about sexual health and relationships since 2014, when her first byline appeared in The New York Times. Drucker was senior sex relationships editor for Maxim and then held the same role at Cosmo. She continues to write about issues ranging from the representation of sex in the media to mental health for publications including HuffPost, New York Magazine, and more. Drucker has served as an expert consultant for companies including USA Today and Bumble, and she's been a guest speaker at creative writing courses at The New School and The Wing, instructing others on how to channel their relationships and experiences into impactful personal essays editors will want to buy. Although she didn't "write the book" on sex, Drucker did edit the encyclopedia of sex; Cosmo's Sexopedia is a massive online database of sex terms, all with shame-free definitions, pop culture examples, and helpful illustrations. For her work on the project, Drucker was named a finalist for a Hearst Editorial Excellence Award in 2017. Drucker currently lives in Los Angeles with her fiance, comedy writer Jesse McLaren.

Review :
"Even if you’re long out of college, some of the relationship lessons in Drucker’s book are still good tactics to practice in your late 20s, 30s, and even 40s. No matter what stage of life you’re in, there’s always room for dating improvement." "Do As I Say, Not Who I Did is not subtle, delicate, or laced in metaphor—and it’s exactly the sex education college students need. . . It’s compelling, funny, and unflinchingly educational while delivering a stream of unconditional compassion for the reader. While navigating the treacherous waters of mental and sexual health in college, there are few things young women need more than to hear someone say, ‘you are entitled to 100 percent of your intimate desires and beholden to no one else’s.’" "Drucker combines anecdotes with expert opinions to give readers answers to questions that often go unasked."