The Five Longings: What We've Always Wanted--and Already Have

Understanding what you want is often thought to be the starting point for getting what you want, but Dave Richo disagrees. Dave asserts rather that understanding what you feel strong desire for is really the starting point to transcending that desire in order to live with greater honesty, compassion, and happiness. The "Five Longings" according to Dave have to do with wanting- (1) Love, (2) Meaning, (3) Freedom, (4) Happiness, or (5) Growth. These five manifest in all sorts of different ways, as he shows, but what they all have in common is that they're basically unattainable in a way that's permanently satisfying. They're always elusive. But if you examine them you begin to see that the very fact that they're unattainable becomes the gate through which true joy is discovered. He shows you how. How identifying what you want can reveal deep truths about yourself-and how working with those longings can lead to a happier, more satisfying life If you've ever had a vague sense that something's missing from your life, congratulations- that longing for something better is a sign of being fully human, fully alive. But what's even more wonderful, according to Dave Richo, is that when you identify and carefully examine the things you long for-like love, meaning, freedom, happiness, and growth-you not only discover deep truths about yourself, but you also find that the things you long for were never really "missing" at all. Richo provides enlightening advice and practices for accessing just this kind of profound self-discovery, illustrated by a wealth of examples from depth psychology, religion, and literature. Our longings in fact point to the presence of something transcendent in us, he shows. In seeking something better, we are seeking that which we already are. "David Richo does a brilliant job unpacking the unhealthy versions of ego that confine us. Through psychological and Buddhist wisdom teachings and a range of powerful practices and meditations, we are guided beyond the identity of separate self to the loving awareness that is our deepest essence." -Tara Brach, PhD, author of Radical Acceptance and True Refuge

About the Author :
DAVID RICHO, PhD, MFT, is a teacher, workshop leader, and psychotherapist in Santa Barbara and San Francisco, California. He combines Jungian, transpersonal, and mythic perspectives in his work. He is the author of numerous psychology/self-help best-sellers, includingHow to Be an Adult in Relationshipsand The Five Things We Cannot Change.

Review :
"David Richo has returned to us our very own longings. He shows us how they can reveal what it means to be truly human. Held with discernment and released from the requirement of a specific outcome, longings can be instructive guides on the path. The blind pursuit of “more” is usually a corrosive fuel, but Richo demonstrates how holding our longings for more can be evolutionary. Paradoxically, we can experience them within us as “ the riches of enough.” Finally, he reminds us that we are longing for what we already have and are: What a liberating discovery! This rich harvest is conveyed with clarity and illustrated with wonderful poetry ranging from Shakespeare and Dickenson to Frost and Lowell."--Joseph Bobrow, Roshi, Ph.D. author of Zen And Psychotherapy: Partners In Liberation "David Richo selected a fascinating topic for The Five Longings. He  skillfully and beautifully clarifies the often confusing differences between healthy, necessary longings and the painful alleyways of desire and addiction.  The book offers both a broad vision of the topic and precise suggestions for handling the powerful energies of longing." -- Sharon Salzberg, author of Lovingkindness and Real Happiness “The Five Longings is a beautifully crafted contemplative journey that leads the reader home to the felt experience of our human heart. In choosing to explore the subject of longing, author David Richo has illuminated a topic that is intimately familiar but rarely understood. This book is an invaluable resource for anyone yearning to live with greater presence and compassion.” –Susan Gillis Chapman, author of Five Keys to Mindful Communication