Forgiveness Handbook: Spiritual Wisdom and Practice for the Journey to Freedom, Healing and Peace

Old wounds can bind up your heart and keep you from fully loving - and fully living - in the present. Your pain may come from devastating trauma or unconscious resentment from accumulated everyday grievances. No matter the depth of the hurt, true healing comes from the courage to face the past and begin the process of letting go. These offerings of warmth and wisdom from many different faiths, backgrounds and perspectives will encourage you to begin your own journey toward the wholeness and freedom that comes from true forgiveness. CONTRIBUTORS: Nancy L. Bieber . Rev. Carolyne Call . Rev. Dr. Joan Brown Campbell . Nancy Barrett Chickerneo, PhD . Paul Wesley Chilcote, PhD . William Cleary . Nancy Corcoran, CSJ . Linda Douty . Rabbi Ted Falcon . Marcia Ford . Rev. Dr. Marie M. Fortune . Tamar Frankiel, PhD . Rabbi Edwin Goldberg, DHL . Caren Goldman . Rev. Steven Greenebaum . Judy Greenfeld . Kent Ira Groff . Diana L. Guerrero . Rabbi Karyn D. Kedar . Kay Lindahl . Rabbi David Lyon . Pastor Don Mackenzie . St. Maximos . Ron Miller . Diane M. Millis, PhD . Rev. Timothy J. Mooney . Rev. Dr. John Philip Newell . Linda Novick . Rev. Larry J. Peacock . Gordon Peerman . M. Basil Pennington, OCSO . Jan Phillips . Susan Quinn . Imam Jamal Rahman . Marty Richards, MSW, LCSW . The Rev. Canon C.K. Robertson, PhD . Rev. Nanette Sawyer . Rev. Dr. Donna Schaper . The Most Rev. Katharine Jefferts Schori . Aaron Shapiro . Rami Shapiro . Louise Silk . Rev. Susan Sparks . Aaron Spevack, PhD . Rabbi Elie Kaplan Spitz . Molly and Bernie Srode . Tom Stella . Sohaib  N. Sultan . Terry Taylor . Yoland Trevino . Rev. Jane E. Vennard . The Rev. Peter Wallace

Table of Contents:
Introduction ix The Rev. Canon Marianne Wells Borg Understanding Forgiveness 1 What's Stopping You? 3 Linda Douty How to Let Go of Resentment 6 Rabbi Edwin Goldberg, DHL Proverbs on Forgiveness 11 Translated by Rami Shapiro Crossing the Bridge 12 Karyn D. Kedar A Choice and a Gift 14 Rev. Timothy J. Mooney Practice: What Am I Holding on To? 16 Practice: The Log in Our Own Eye 17 Letting Go 19 Leaving the Past Behind 21 Rev. Jane E. Vennard Reflection: Looking Backward and Forward 23 Practice: The Courage to Forgive 23 Repainting Your Story 25 Linda Novick The Qur'an on Forgiveness 28 Clearing the Wellspring 29 Nancy Barrett Chickerneo, PhD Practice: A Clearing Experience 30 Four Rs for Relinquishing 32 Kent Ira Groff Practice: Emptiness as Space for God 33 Practice: A Focusing Exercise in Three Gestures 33 Practice: "Let It Be" 34 Naming Your Hurts and Fears 35 Nancy L. Bieber Practice: The Naming Game 35 Practice: The Room 36 Practice: Accepting Love 36 Letting Go of Old Illusions 37 Jan Phillips What Animals Can Teach Us about Letting Go 41 Diana L. Guerrero Reconciliation and Forgiveness in Relationships 45 Reconciliation in Your Own Heart 47 Caren Goldman Practice: Journaling with Others and Self 50 It Starts with You 51 Marcia Ford Practice: Making the First Move 53 The Sacred Speech of Forgiveness 54 Rev. Donna Schaper Listening for Reconciliation 59 Kay Lindahl The Philokalia on Forgiveness 62 Prayer for Our Mothers 63 M. F. Prayers for Marriage 64 Annotated by The Rev. Canon C. K. Robertson, PhD Forgiveness in Caregiving 66 Marty Richards, MSW, LCSW Setting Boundaries 77 Marcia Ford Practice: Clarifying Your Boundaries 79 Finding Peace in Letting a Relationship Go 81 Susan Quinn Forgiveness and Grace after Divorce 85 Rev. Carolyne Call Forgiving Suicide 90 Rabbi Elie Kaplan Spitz Practice: Journaling about Loss 93 Practice: Letter Exchange 94 A Prayer for Forgiveness 95 Rev. Steven Greenebaum Forgiveness and the Divine 97 A God Who Desires to Forgive 99 Annotated by Rami Shapiro Letting Go of a Vengeful God 100 Tom Stella Reflection: The Moral of Your Story 104 You Accept Us—At Times of Self-Doubt 105 William Cleary You Are Living a Good Story 106 Karyn D. Kedar The Psalms on Forgiveness 108 Translated by M. Basil Pennington, OCSO Offering All to God 110 Annotated by Paul Wesley Chilcote, PhD Trusting God’s Forgiveness 112 Rev. Larry J. Peacock Practice: Forgiveness Dance 113 Accepting Forgiveness 115 The Privilege of Asking Forgiveness 117 Rabbi David Lyon Humbly Embracing Imperfections 119 Tom Stella Questions in Asking for Forgiveness 122 Rev. Carolyne Call Ghazali on Forgiveness 123 Translated by Aaron Spevack, PhD More Than Apologizing 124 Rami Shapiro Developing Self-Compassion 128 Imam Jamal Rahman Practice: Loving the Heart 129 Practice: Sacred Naming 130 Granting Yourself Absolution 132 Marcia Ford Reflection: Being Drained of Self-Criticism 134 Practice: "I Can’t Forgive Myself Because __________"134 Laugh at Yourself 136 Rev. Susan Sparks Reflection: Laughter and Forgiveness 137 Facing Brokenness 138 Terry Taylor Practice: Maitri—Embracing Your Pain 141 Love Your Enemies 143 Hospitality to Enemies 145 Rev. Nanette Sawyer Practice: Self-Examination 148 Practice: A Circle of Love 151 (Draw It Large Enough to Include Your Adversary) The Gospel of Matthew on Forgiveness 154 Translated by Ron Miller Encountering the Heart of the Enemy 155 Rami Shapiro Practice: Dining with the Devil 158 Practice: Dear Hated One 158 A Prayer of Forgiveness for Enemies 161 Nancy Corcoran, CSJ A Moveable Feast 163 Katharine Jefferts Schori Praying with the Angels 166 Imam Jamal Rahman Forgiveness, Justice, and Peace 169 Seeking Justice on the Path to Forgiveness 171 Marie M. Fortune Wise Justice, Merciful Hearts 175 Rev. Donna Schaper The Book of Common Prayer on Forgiveness 178 Reconciliation, Retribution, and Justice in Islam 179 Annotated by Sohaib N. Sultan Prodigals and the Path to Peace 181 Rev. Dr. Joan Brown Campbell Reconnecting with the Earth 185 John Philip Newell Interfaith Forgiveness 190 Pastor Don Mackenzie, Imam Jamal Rahman, and Rabbi Ted Falcon Peacemaking in Our Own Hearts 197 Molly and Bernie Srode Practice: Affirmations for Personal Peacemaking 198 Dancing Peace and Forgiveness 199 Cynthia Winton-Henry Practice: Inner Peace Dance—80 Percent Stillness 201 Intercession and Justice 203 Rev. Larry J. Peacock Practice: Intercession Collage 204 Cultivating a Forgiving Heart 205 Lovingkindness Meditation to 207 Open the Heart and Mind Louise Silk Practice: Mettabhavana Meditation 208 Escaping the Blame Cycle 210 Gordon Peerman Practice: Working with RAIN 214 Meditations of Marcus Aurelius on Forgiveness 216 Bedtime Forgiveness Prayer 217 Tamar Frankiel, PhD, and Judy Greenfeld Practice: Bedtime Forgiveness Meditation 218 The Fruit of Love 221 Nancy L. Bieber Living in Love 223 The Rev. Peter Wallace Reflection: Loving and Being Loved 226 Meeting Everyone as a Stranger 227 Diane M. Millis, PhD Seeing a World Where There Is No “Other” 230 Yoland Trevino Pursuing Kinship Rather than Estrangement 233 Rev. Nanette Sawyer Credits 236 Notes 240

About the Author :
SkyLight Paths is the publisher of many award-winning personal growth books for people of all faith traditions—and none. The Rev. Canon Marianne Wells Borg is former canon pastor at Trinity Episcopal Cathedral in Portland, Oregon, and founding director of The Center for Spiritual Development, an outreach ministry engaging in Christian life in the twenty-first century.

Review :
The editors of SkyLight Paths have provided us with an invaluable moral service by assembling this serious, sobering, and multidimensional survey of forgiveness as a "journey to freedom, healing, and peace." They have divided the paperback into eight richly developed sections: 1. Understanding Forgiveness 2. Letting Go 3. Reconciliation and Forgiveness in Relationships 4. Forgiveness and the Divine 5. Accepting Forgiveness 6. Love Your Enemies 7. Forgiveness, Justice and Peace 8. Cultivating a Forgiving Heart Among the more than 50 contributors are clergy, spiritual directors, and retreat leaders from a variety of traditions including William Cleary, Kent Ira Groff, Ron Miller, John Philip Newell, Basil Pennington, Jan Phillips, Imam Jamal Rahman, Donna Schaper, Rami Shapiro, Jane Vennard and many others. All the religious and spiritual traditions raise up the value of forgiveness yet it remains a difficult and sometimes impossible practice for many people. This is why we need resources like this one to present many ways into forgiveness.