Yes, I Named My Daughter Gaylord Focker. So Focking What!: (Over 1,000 Real Names of Real People) All Weird!

This book is unusual because it is real. There is little narration. It can be called a toilet book because that is where it belongs. It can be called a coffee table book if you need somebody in your house or business to relax or to laugh. It is a book of lists. There is not much prose. There are few jokes unless you think that it is funny for a parent to name her kid, "Martina Moron." Now, consider this information: Outraged customer ahead of me in a store. Unreasonable business associate. Nothing that a good chuckle can't cure. If you pay attention, you can learn a lot about people. Some of it is obvious. Some of it is bizarre. Now, about the obvious: Everybody has a name, and everybody can relate to names. As a person who talks but especially listens a lot, I run into unusual and quirky names often. Santa Claus, Jesus Christ, Candy Cane, and Treena Fartsi are among the people with odd names that I have met. No way? Have you ever checked out the tattoos that people have? Each and every one them says something interesting and/or strange about that individual. Why can't a name have the same purpose? Anyway, this book has taken most of my life to write. I have written down the person's name and verified it later. No name has been incorrectly reported in my fierce quest for accuracy. I have learned that there is not a person alive who does not have or know somebody with a name that is atypical or weird. I met this wonderful woman named "Luna." Her whole life, she was tormented by this first name. But worse, she hated that she was not given a middle name. While growing up, she would pin imaginary middle names on her bedroom curtain quite often. And, when she turned 21, she legally gave herself the middle name of "Delight." Now, the pronunciations may not be what some people might expect, but the spelling is what matters. For instance, "Moron" may have a Spanish or even a French pronunciation that we would not initially expect which is better than the "I am a dumbass" related pronunciation. But, the spelling is the same. A part of the inspiration for the book is a custom-made license plate that I saw while walking on a lonely street in a city where I resided at the time. It said, "MORON." Is that how that person wanted to be labeled and known? What was the thinking behind giving one's car, and hence oneself, such a name? Or, was thinking even possible in this case? I, on the other hand, do not want to look stupid. Silly, outrageous, sarcastic, thorough, and funny are much more my style. And, it was not long ago that I found a sign outside of Harrisburg, Pennsylvania that said "Shit Creek." Does anybody want to go fishing? Anyway, all of this world of strange has propelled me into the huge research project that evolved into this delightful, irreverent, and funny, but even somewhat educational, book. Not too educational, however. Let's be real. This book is the paper or computer wire version of the fart. It is nothing groundbreaking, brilliant, or special. It doesn't even smell good. Still, you can believe me: you will see people in a different light. And, you will smile knowing that even if your name is "Ron Smith," it is better than "Fred Nitwit."