About the Book
Parenting is stressful. For many parents, who are always busy, usually tired, and probably not trained in dealing with children, the words “tranquility” and “parenting” do not go together. Don’t you just wish there was some technique out there that could help you become calm, content, and confident parent? Something that you could have on hand all the time to help you through your most challenging situations and stressful days?
Well, there is something, and it comes from a wisdom tradition that has been helping people through difficult situations for about 2300 years. The psychological techniques developed by ancient Stoics have recently been rediscovered, and Stoicism is enjoying a renaissance among people from all walks of life who are looking for fulfillment, tranquility, and yes, the meaning of life. Modern Stoicism has straightforward answers to all these questions, as well as practical techniques for achieving eudaimonia (the Greek word for “human flourishing”). Stoicism encourages everyone to think things through for themselves and use their own capacity for reason and goodness. And once you learn the basic principles of Stoicism, you can apply them all the time, in any situation.
Tranquility Parenting describes how Brittany Polat discovered modern Stoicism and what it can offer to stressed-out parents of the 21st century. As a mother of three young children, Polat used to constantly doubt her parenting abilities. She felt anxious, frustrated, and guilty about her perceived failings as a parent. Now, as a practicing Stoic, she gained the confidence and calm she was craving and has more energy to be fully engaged and happy with them.
What will this book do for you? It will not tell you how to potty train your child, but it will tell you how to enjoy the time you spend potty training your child. It will not tell you how to monitor your teen on social media, but it will show you how to use practical wisdom to make decisions about media consumption. It will not tell you how to make your kids eat vegetables, but it will explain how to be present and engaged while you are teaching your kids to eat vegetables. So if you are willing to invest time and energy in applying Stoic insights, you may find that tranquility parenting is not only possible, but truly the best option for you and your family.
Table of Contents:
Part I
, Finding Tranquility
,
Chapter 1
, Developing a Parenting Philosophy
,
Chapter 2
, Focusing on What You Can Control
,
Chapter 3
, Re-thinking Your Value Judgments
,
Chapter 4
, Engaging with Other People
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Chapter 5
, Teaching Your Child Virtue
,
Chapter 6
, Enjoying Your Child
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Chapter 7
, Overcoming Your Anxiety
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Chapter 8
, Finding Tranquility
,
Part II
, Reference Section
,
Chapter 9
, Practicing Tranquility
,
Chapter 10
, Dealing with Difficult Situations
,
About the Author :
Brittany Polat is a practicing Stoic, mother to three young children, and blogger who writes about Stoic family life. She is especially interested in exploring ways that Stoic principles can lead to a rich and rewarding life for parents and children. See more of her writing on her blog at apparentstoic.com
Review :
Polat, a practitioner of stoicism and creator of apparentstoic.com, draws on the philosophical school’s practical and relevant wisdom in a straightforward and lucidly presented primer on stoic parenting. She is careful to differentiate stoicism’s contemporary connotations—as referring to “someone who doesn’t show or even feel any emotion”—from the classical teachings of Seneca, Epictetus, and Marcus Aurelius, who prized “emotional tranquility in tough situations” and a logical approach to positive and negative emotions alike as a path to “lasting peace and happiness” not tied to material goods or fleeting emotions. Noting the Stoics were “master psychologists,” Polat finds their ideas applicable to “difficult situations” commonly encountered with children, including resistance to potty training, intra-sibling jealousy, and back talk to parents. In eight short chapters, Polat walks readers through giving up the need for control, rethinking value judgments, teaching children values, and in general becoming, in Seneca’s words, “cheerful, calm, and undisturbed.” While Polat’s work may not replace mindfulness with tranquility as the new self-care buzzword, it makes a good case for the applicability of an ancient intellectual tradition to modern child care.
This wonderful book will help you to maintain your equanimity in difficult situations, by showing you how to adopt a philosophical attitude toward parenting. One day your children will thank you for having read it!
Tranquility Parenting takes you on an introspective journey to discovering a clear and specific parenting philosophy that will help guide your actions with your child. This book offers strategies to build strong mental habits that will help you focus on what is in your control as a parent and give you the confidence and courage to make good judgments day in and day out.
This unique contribution to parenting literature is a well-crafted compilation of the wisdom blogger Polat has gained as a parent and practicing Stoic. Readers who enjoy history and philosophy may appreciate the primer on Stoicism (both historical and contemporary) and enjoy applying tips such as Marcus Aurelius’ morning mantra to their own parenting lives. A main tenet of Stoicism is that one must be a good person to live a flourishing life, making it an easily relatable belief system. The stories and scenarios Polat includes from her own parenting experience are highly relevant. She tackles topics ranging from her reaction to a broken plate now versus how would have reacted before her philosophical shift, to scenarios for helping kids gain a perspective on judgment, criticism, and self-control. Finally, the chapter summaries and “Make It Your Own” takeaways encourage preemptive action (aka homework) that will at a minimum increase parents' level of tranquility and hopefully even solve some parenting angst in the process.
