Daddies of a Different Kind: Sex and Romance Between Older and Younger Adult Gay Men

An intimate look at gay and bisexual daddies and their younger partners Over the past several years the term "daddy" has increased in popularity. Although the term has existed for centuries, its meaning has changed over time, and today can refer to desirable older men. In the Western world, same-sex male couples are far more likely to have large age gaps than other types of partnerships, and Daddies of a Different Kind analyzes the stories of gay and bisexual daddies and asks why younger men are interested in older men for sex and relationships. Based on interviews with self-described daddies and young adult men in relationships with older men, Tony Silva uncovers why it is more common for gay and bisexual men to have large age gaps in relationships than heterosexuals or LGBTQ women. These stories reveal that queer relationships with large age gaps are not consistent with a sugar daddy/gold digger stereotype. Instead, daddies mentor younger adult men and transmit knowledge intergenerationally, including how to navigate homophobia, access gay communities, and have fulfilling sex. Silva shows that demographic research understates the commonality of age-gap pairings among gay and bisexual men, and illustrates how daddies shape gay and bisexual communities both culturally and sexually. A fascinating read, Daddies of a Different Kind breaks many commonly held stereotypes about gay and bisexual life.

About the Author :
Tony Silva is Assistant Professor in the Department of Sociology at the University of British Columbia. He is the author of Still Straight: Sexual Flexibility among White Men in Rural America.

Review :
"Offers the most in-depth analysis of same-gender romantic partnerships, sexual friendships, and sexual relationships between men of different ages. Countering stereotypes of 'sugar daddies,' Tony Silva finds a variety of reasons both younger and older men sought and sustained these relationships. Silva illustrates a new way of thinking about flexibility in gay and bisexual men's sexualities over the course of their lives and adds new work to our growing understanding of caring masculinities.' A fascinating study." (Tristan Bridges, co-author of Exploring Masculinities: Identity, Inequality, Continuity, and Change) "Daddies of a Different Kind illustrates how the knowledge and frameworks that emerge from queer communities teach us so much about social relationships, inequality, and our society at large. This book also reveals the intellectual and methodological advances that can happen when LGBTQ perspectives are centered." (Anthony Christian Ocampo, author of Brown and Gay in LA: The Lives of Immigrant Sons) "Silva focuses on an understudied population to showcase variations in masculinity across the life course. His treatment of 'daddies' does some myth-busting, rejecting the idea that these pairings necessarily involve sugar daddies who give money to younger men, showing that sexual desire goes in both directions." (Tina Fetner, author of How the Religious Right Shaped Lesbian and Gay Activism) "In this fascinating book, Silva explores the meaning and significance of age-gap pairings among gay and bisexual men. Age-gap pairings connect gay and bisexual men across cohorts and facilitate intergenerational transmissions of knowledge, fostering community and culture. This book analyzes a surging but unattended social phenomenon, and it does so with refreshing attention to the enlivening and caretaking dimensions of masculine bonding." (David John Frank, co-author of The University and the Global Knowledge Society) "Why are gay and bisexual men likelier than heterosexuals and queer women to have large age-gap relationships? This is the question that guides Tony Silva's Daddies of a Different Kind. An insightful and fascinating read, Daddies of a Different Kind dispels various commonly held stereotypes about these relationships—and about gay and bisexual life more broadly." - Canton Winer (Gender and Society)