Today's parents are constantly pressured to be perfect. But in striving to do everything right, we risk missing what children really need for lifelong emotional security. Now the simple, powerful "Circle of Security" parenting strategies that Kent Hoffman, Glen Cooper, and Bert Powell have taught thousands of families are available in self-help form for the first time.
You will learn:
- How to balance nurturing and protectiveness with promoting your child's independence.
- What emotional needs a toddler or older child may be expressing through difficult behavior.
- How your own upbringing affects your parenting style--and what you can do about it.
Filled with vivid stories and unique practical tools, this book puts the keys to healthy attachment within everyone's reach--self-understanding, flexibility, and the willingness to make and learn from mistakes. Self-assessment checklists can be downloaded and printed for ease of use.
Mental health professionals, see also The Circle of Security Intervention, written for practitioners working with parents and young children.
Table of Contents:
Foreword, Daniel J. Siegel
Introduction
I. All Around the Circle: Understanding Attachment and the Importance of Security
1. Attachment: Why It Matters
2. Security: Befriending Imperfection
3. A Map for Attachment: The Circle of Security
4. Being the Hands on the Circle
5. Shark Music: How Our Childhood Echoes in Our Parenting
6. Behavior as Communication: Cues and Miscues
II. Creating and Maintaining the Circle: How to Be Bigger, Stronger, Wiser, and Kind—and Good Enough
7. Shark Bones: Exploring Our Core Sensitivities
8. Testing New Waters: Choosing Security
9. Staying Afloat: Choosing Security Over and Over as Your Child Grows
Resources
About the Author :
Kent Hoffman, RelD, has been a psychotherapist since 1972. Certified in psychoanalytic psychotherapy by The Masterson Institute in New York City, he has worked with prison and homeless populations as well as adults seeking psychoanalytic psychotherapy. His primary focus since the 1990s has been working with and designing treatment interventions for street-dependent teens with young children. The underlying theme of his life's work can be found in a TEDx talk titled "Infinite Worth." Since 1985, Dr. Hoffman has had a shared clinical practice in Spokane, Washington, with Glen Cooper and Bert Powell. Together, they have created and disseminated the Circle of Security, for which each has received the New York Attachment Consortium's Bowlby–Ainsworth Award, among other honors. They are coauthors of The Circle of Security Intervention (for mental health professionals) and Raising a Secure Child: How Circle of Security Parenting Can Help You Nurture Your Child's Attachment, Emotional Resilience, and Freedom to Explore (for parents).
Glen Cooper, MA, has worked as a psychotherapist with individuals and families in both agency and private practice settings since the 1970s. He has extensive training in family systems, object relations, attachment theory, and infant mental health assessment. Mr. Cooper also works as a treatment foster parent and long-time Head Start consultant. Since 1985, he has had a shared clinical practice in Spokane, Washington, with Kent Hoffman and Bert Powell. Much of their work has focused on the creation and dissemination of the Circle of Security, for which each has received theNew York Attachment Consortium's Bowlby–Ainsworth Award, among other honors. They are coauthors of The Circle of Security Intervention (for mental health professionals) and Raising a Secure Child: How Circle of Security Parenting Can Help You Nurture Your Child's Attachment, Emotional Resilience, and Freedom to Explore (for parents).
Bert Powell, MA, began his clinical work as an outpatient family therapist in a community mental health center, where he helped a broad range of families find and use unacknowledged strengths to address their problems. Mr. Powell is certified in psychoanalytic psychotherapy by The Masterson Institute in New York City. He is Adjunct Assistant Professor in the Graduate School of Counseling Psychology at Gonzaga University and serves as an international advisor to the editorial board of the Journal of Attachment and Human Development. Since 1985, he has had a shared clinical practice in Spokane, Washington, with Kent Hoffman and Glen Cooper. Much of their work has focused on the creation and dissemination of the Circle of Security, for which each has received the New York Attachment Consortium's Bowlby–Ainsworth Award, among other honors. They are coauthors of The Circle of Security Intervention (for mental health professionals) and Raising a Secure Child: How Circle of Security Parenting Can Help You Nurture Your Child's Attachment, Emotional Resilience, and Freedom to Explore (for parents).
Christine M. Benton is a Chicago-based writer and editor.
Review :
"If you are looking for a practical, wise, science-based, and accessible guide to creating the kind of attachment your child needs to optimize development, you’ve come to the right place!…What a gift Raising a Secure Child is for us, for our children, and for the world….A masterpiece."--from the Foreword by Daniel J. Siegel, MD, coauthor of The Whole-Brain Child
"I love this book, and know it will be good to reread during the difficult moments of parenting! The best part of Raising a Secure Child is that you don't have to do anything 'extra' to help your child flourish. Instead, the book reminded me of the essential factor hidden in plain sight--my relationship with my child. It made me feel hopeful and confident about my natural ability as a parent."--Kari G., Spokane, Washington
"From the creators of the Circle of Security, which has changed parents' and children's lives around the globe, comes this remarkable guide. Down to earth, witty, and so, so smart about the complexities of parenting, Raising a Secure Child is a revelation. It provides a clear roadmap for all parents who want to give their children the very best beginnings possible. You will wish your parents had read this book, and if your children are grown, you will want to start all over again."--Arietta Slade, PhD, Yale Child Study Center, Yale University School of Medicine
"This book is outstanding in every respect--beautifully written, scientifically sound, loaded with excellent examples, and full of deep wisdom. What these authors have learned and are able to teach us can make a huge contribution to the well-being of your children and family."--Phillip R. Shaver, PhD, Distinguished Professor Emeritus of Psychology, University of California, Davis
"A 'must read' for parents of young children. The authors translate decades of psychological research into accessible and meaningful advice. Reading this book is an opportunity to learn about yourself--because, it turns out, knowing your own strengths and vulnerabilities is a vital key to parenting.”--Charles H. Zeanah, Jr., MD, Mary Peters Sellars-Polchow Chair in Psychiatry and Professor of Psychiatry and Pediatrics, Tulane University School of Medicine -Psychotherapists Hoffman, Cooper, and Powell…provide a clearly drawn map to the circle of security, their attachment theory-based program for attuning parents to child needs….This is a highly usable guide with the potential to enrich relationships of all kinds. (starred review)--Publishers Weekly, 2/27/2017ƒƒA book like this can be a crucial tool for parents….Hoffman, Cooper, and Powell distill the wisdom of attachment theory into an accessible and practical approach called the Circle of Security….Through their kind and compassionate writing style, the authors model the tone they ask parents to take with their children….Raising a Secure Child is one of the most important contributions to the parenting literature in years. It is a much-needed correction to the confusion of 'attachment parenting,' and fills a gap by focusing on the elusive, ephemeral flow of emotions between children and adults who care for them. The guidance is offered with an understated grace and poetry, as the authors soothe the parents' own attachment history to ease their relationship with their children.--Greater Good, 2/3/2017ƒƒInstead of perfect parenting, the authors stress the need for present parenting. They believe being there for our children, mistakes and all, builds trust and frees our children to be who they really are in front of us.--Library Journal, 12/1/2016
"If you are looking for a practical, wise, science-based, and accessible guide to creating the kind of attachment your child needs to optimize development, you’ve come to the right place!…What a gift Raising a Secure Child is for us, for our children, and for the world….A masterpiece."--from the Foreword by Daniel J. Siegel, MD, coauthor of The Whole-Brain Child
"I love this book, and know it will be good to reread during the difficult moments of parenting! The best part of Raising a Secure Child is that you don't have to do anything 'extra' to help your child flourish. Instead, the book reminded me of the essential factor hidden in plain sight--my relationship with my child. It made me feel hopeful and confident about my natural ability as a parent."--Kari G., Spokane, Washington
"From the creators of the Circle of Security, which has changed parents' and children's lives around the globe, comes this remarkable guide. Down to earth, witty, and so, so smart about the complexities of parenting, Raising a Secure Child is a revelation. It provides a clear roadmap for all parents who want to give their children the very best beginnings possible. You will wish your parents had read this book, and if your children are grown, you will want to start all over again."--Arietta Slade, PhD, Yale Child Study Center, Yale University School of Medicine
"This book is outstanding in every respect--beautifully written, scientifically sound, loaded with excellent examples, and full of deep wisdom. What these authors have learned and are able to teach us can make a huge contribution to the well-being of your children and family."--Phillip R. Shaver, PhD, Distinguished Professor Emeritus of Psychology, University of California, Davis
"A 'must read' for parents of young children. The authors translate decades of psychological research into accessible and meaningful advice. Reading this book is an opportunity to learn about yourself--because, it turns out, knowing your own strengths and vulnerabilities is a vital key to parenting.”--Charles H. Zeanah, Jr., MD, Mary Peters Sellars-Polchow Chair in Psychiatry and Professor of Psychiatry and Pediatrics, Tulane University School of Medicine -Psychotherapists Hoffman, Cooper, and Powell…provide a clearly drawn map to the circle of security, their attachment theory-based program for attuning parents to child needs….This is a highly usable guide with the potential to enrich relationships of all kinds. (starred review)--Publishers Weekly, 2/27/2017Æ’Æ’A book like this can be a crucial tool for parents….Hoffman, Cooper, and Powell distill the wisdom of attachment theory into an accessible and practical approach called the Circle of Security….Through their kind and compassionate writing style, the authors model the tone they ask parents to take with their children….Raising a Secure Child is one of the most important contributions to the parenting literature in years. It is a much-needed correction to the confusion of 'attachment parenting,' and fills a gap by focusing on the elusive, ephemeral flow of emotions between children and adults who care for them. The guidance is offered with an understated grace and poetry, as the authors soothe the parents' own attachment history to ease their relationship with their children.--Greater Good, 2/3/2017Æ’Æ’Instead of perfect parenting, the authors stress the need for present parenting. They believe being there for our children, mistakes and all, builds trust and frees our children to be who they really are in front of us.--Library Journal, 12/1/2016
