Validation: The New Psychology of Influence

Unlock the secret to true and lasting change 'A crash course in the most important skills for forging connection and fuelling change.' ADAM GRANT 'Profound, important, compassionate, Validation took my breath away.' AMY EDMONDSON We all spend a huge amount of time trying to get people to listen to us, and despite our best efforts, we often fail. But what if the secret to influencing others was in first accepting them? This is known as validation: the act of showing someone that you understand their experience and accept it as valid. As both a means and an end, validation skills are proven to impact five key areas of our life: enhancing our relationships, de-escalating conflict, increasing our ability to drive behaviour change, influencing growth in others, and developing a stronger connection to self. In this groundbreaking book, Stanford University psychologist Caroline Fleck explains why validation is a catalyst for transformation, and shares her step-by-step framework to put this powerful skillset into practice.

About the Author :
Dr Caroline Fleck is a licensed psychologist, Adjunct Clinical Instructor at Stanford University, and consultant. She received her doctorate in Psychology & Neuroscience from Duke University and holds a B.A. in English and Psychology from the University of Michigan. Dr. Fleck is an expert in evidence-based treatments for individuals, couples, and parents, including Dialectical Behavior Therapy (DBT) and Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT). She is renowned for her ability to help people make critical but challenging changes and is one of Silicon Valley's most sought-after psychotherapists.

Review :
Warning: this book will make you a better parent, partner, colleague, and friend. Caroline Fleck is a brilliant therapist and a talented writer, and Validation is the rare read that has the potential to transform your interactions with others. It's a crash course in the most important and neglected relationship skills for forging connection and fuelling change. The beauty of this book is that it sheds light on something that feels so simple, but in a distractible age, is becoming rarer. Dr. Caroline Fleck reminds us that being present, listening, suspending judgment, and really hearing someone is the greatest gift we can give or receive. Her insights have reach for parenting, the workplace, intimate relationships, and even in our passing conversations. There is such magic in validation, and Dr. Fleck shines a light on something that can enliven our sense of possibility and self. Profound, important, compassionate, Validation took my breath away. I can't remember the last time I read a book as beautifully crafted and immediately useful. Author Caroline Fleck shares research-backed wisdom that can help you transform the most important relationships in your life-at work and at home. Offering validation is a simple intention that can be frustratingly hard to do well-even after being a psychotherapist for more than twenty years. Caroline Fleck powerfully translates this core concept into a specific set of skills that you can start to apply immediately. I'm better equipped to validate others than I was before reading this book. Caroline Fleck's Validation is a masterclass in empathy and connection. Her blend of personal anecdotes and practical advice offers readers a roadmap to transforming their relationships and emotional well-being. As an engineer, I appreciate when complex human dynamics can be broken down into practical, actionable steps. Dr. Fleck transforms abstract concepts into concrete tools that anyone can use to unlock seemingly impossible situations. It's like gaining access to a cheat code for human interaction-one that actually works. Whether you've got more of an engineering mindset that appreciates clear frameworks or someone simply looking to improve their relationships, this book delivers results while keeping you thoroughly entertained along the way. Caroline has done an incredible job of researching and extending my mom's work on validation. Her brilliant new model provides a well-resourced, practical, and much-needed guide to help anyone excel at the art of validation.