The Ladies Monitor; A Poem

This historic book may have numerous typos and missing text. Purchasers can download a free scanned copy of the original book (without typos) from the publisher. Not indexed. Not illustrated. 1818 Excerpt: ...course must have the upper hand--Where every female, past the age of ten, Becomes a lady, pray what follows then? With all the plans, a Tom Paine could contrive, Our body politick will never thrive, Whate'er our July orators have said, Unless its heels ape lower than its head. Let friends to anarchy new dogmas twist, And still distinctions must and will exist. To give a learnM and polish'd education, To one pre-destin'd to a menial station, Is taking pains to teach a part in fact, The pupil never can be call'd to act, A part moreover, which must be forgot, To reconcile her to her humble lot. Fine arts are useless to a country charmer, The future help-mate of an honest farmer, Graces, and airs, though ever so bewitching, Such work of ruin would, beyond comparison, Surpas s the ravages of Hun or Saracen. Little become the dairy and the kitchen--A Miss may chaunt a lullaby, quite prettily, Without the aid of Signior Squeak, from Italy. Yet some fond parents, with less brains than cash, Wishing their " daftert dear" to cut a dash, away, Their hard-earn'd gains have worse than thrown Teaching their sweet Jemimas to display The half-accomplish'd, semi-genteel fool, In Lady Hawbuck's country boarding school, Where village maids are taught to write and read ill, And plain cloth to disfigure with a needle--To paint a thing, to make " the old ones" stare, A pig, a puppy, bullock or a bear, But which of these the artist would pourtray, No mortal save a conjuror can say. A little French is learn'd by rote perhaps, Useful in filling conversation gaps, And with a quantity of novel reading Makes up a lady of prodigious bretding! Who, by herself, at least is look'd upon, As quite the tip-end of the topmost ton! With such accomplishments, and so much lea...