How to avoid being a helicopter parent—and raise well adjusted, truly independent children In an age of entitlement, where most kids think they deserve the best of everything, most parents are afraid of failing their children. Not only are they all too willing to provide every material comfort, they've also become overly involved in their children's lives, becoming meddlesome managers, rather than sympathetic advocates. In Drop the Worry Ball, authors Alex Russell and Tim Falconer offer a refreshing approach to raising well-adjusted children—who are also independent and unafraid to make mistakes.
In this practical sensible book, parents will truly understand the dynamics between parents and their children, especially the tendency of children to recruit their parents to do too much for them. The book also counsels that failing—whether it's a test, a course, or a tryout for a team—is a natural part of growing up, and not a sign of parental incompetence.
- Shows how to resist the pressure to become over involved in your child's life
- How to retire as a gatekeeper or manager of your child's life, and become a genuine source of support
- Build trusting relationships with teachers, coaches, camp counselors, and other authority figures—so they can play an effective role in your child's life
- Understand problems such as ADHD, anxiety, and substance abuse
A guidebook for parenting courageously and responsibly—allowing your kids to be who they are while building structures that keep them safe—Drop the Worry Ball is a must for any parent who wishes to be and do their very best.
Table of Contents:
Introduction 1 Chapter 1 – Parenting from the Bench 7
Hockey Dad 8
Children Once Grew Up; Now We Raise Them 11
The Island Family and the Family Island 15
Childhood Revolution 17
What We Worry About 22
The Worry Ball 26
Painful, Non-Catastrophic Failure 28
The Park Bench 30
Chapter 2 – Obligated Parents and Entitled Kids 35
The Age of Entitlement 39
Getting Perspective 42
Whose Problem Is It? 46
Minding versus Acting 48
Too Much of a Good Thing 51
Stories of Woe 53
Chapter 3 – "I Don't Want to Grow Up" 61
The Problem of Reality 65
The Terrible Twos 68
Power Struggles 71
Master and Slave 75
Gaining Respect 80
Chapter 4 – School and the "Looming Conveyor Belt of Life" 89
"Will This Be on the Exam?" 92
Trusting Teachers 94
Please and Appease 97
Don't Be a Homework Cop 101
Finding Flow 104
Minding the Children 107
Chapter 5 – Sex, Drugs and Video Games 115
Doomed to Fail 120
Being Bad 124
Scary Digital Age 129
The Handheld Danger 132
The Book on Facebook 135
Being Interested 136
Chapter 6 – Cheering Failure 145
Teenage Wasteland 147
United We Stand; Divided We Fall 150
The Two-Headed Parenting Monster 154
External Authority 158
Beyond Praise 160
Everyone Screws Up 164
Chapter 7 – Disabilities, Disorders and Disasters 171
Special Needs in Childhood 175
Learned Helplessness 177
Illnesses, Disorders and Labels 180
Frontal Lobes 184
Avoidance Disorder—Not Otherwise Specified 187
Suicide 192
A Happy Ending for Philippe 196
Chapter 8 – Building a Village 201
The Tree Fort 204
The Ingredients of a Village 206
Us Against Them 209
Safety Second 214
Over-Caring 216
Sharing the Load 218
Chapter 9 – Building an Adult 223
Looking After Yourself 226
From Child to Adult 228
Some Essential "Scraped Knees" of Childhood: When a Child Can Handle What 232
Parental Perspective = A Confident Child 237
Doing Your Best 241
Acknowledgments 245
About the Author :
Alex Russell (PhD, CPsych) is a clinical psychologist and a research affiliate with the Hincks-Dellcrest Institute in Toronto. A popular speaker, he provides assessments and therapy to children and adults, consults to schools and is the father of two teenagers.
Tim Falconer is the author of three non-fiction books, including Drive: A Road Trip through Our Complicated Affair with the Automobile.
