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Home > Biographies & Memoire > Biography and non-fiction prose > Memoirs > Blue Summer: A Memoir
Blue Summer: A Memoir

Blue Summer: A Memoir


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About the Book

When she told me over the phone while I was in the psych ward that she did not love me anymore devastated me. That phone call was less than a week after the last time I saw her before the police kicked me off the property. During that week I threatened my life to Kellee and her mom multiple times. I cannot believe that all of this happened. Now that I type it out. I remember going on the run and meeting up with my other girlfriend. The point is that I am a hypocrite. I did come clean about it. Not immediately but I did. During that phone call I had one last chance to get Kellee to admit I was right about her. She didn't. She did call me later to ask about the cheating. I think she was with some people. Perhaps at her grandmother's house or with her new guy. She was upset about my cheating. She never owned up to hers. That part really messes with me the most. I am on the other side. I was just a visitor to Kellee for whatever reason. I still loved her and was as obsessed with her then as I am now. Only I was impulsive then. A week to the day after being asked to leave Kellee's and not come back, those same police were now arresting me. I looked like a major creep. I swear though. Kellee owed me a conversation. That is the way I looked at it then. What I wanted was that sweatshirt. At the time it was worth trying to get inside her house this time. I figured she was not home. Although I wanted some of my things. I still want my sweatshirt. But I doubt I will be seeing that again. It would end up another memento of our relationship if it was returned, like the slutty clown costume she wore for my birthday in which I still do not have the strength to throw away. Pathetically. I don't even like my dog because I miss Kellee so much. That makes no sense until you consider the simple fact that my dog Macs knew Kellee. The more I write down these racing thoughts the more I judge myself. I mean, she has a protective order against me. Barring all forms of contact. It is over. And I still daydream about her dropping the order and telling me that she misses me and wants to try again. Or at the least contacting her in a year and getting her back. To which she might just get another restraining order. Love did this to me. I can only force myself to merely skim these pages of delusional psychosis and paranoid depression. Truly a mental exhaustion not left with rest until my court date. Still I care more about her than my trouble that I am in. What is my heartbreak of the year weighed against a looming inconvenience? Give me Kellee and I would willingly do ten years. On second thought, maybe not. This may be a breakthrough. In a way, I love her that much I would wait that long. I wish she knew that. *uck. ...If I could go back to that night, Kellee I would have stayed and set up your projector for you. I would have given you the chance to wake up next to me. I would give you my love instead of driving off. I just couldn't. It is the 18th now.1:37 AM and I thought of what I would say to her. I love her. I am in love with her still and I feel empty every single day. It has been 58 days since I have seen her. I think about cutting my wrists often. It is a normal thought to me now. I am still lamenting daily. Anxiety and feeling empty and thinking about her and who she is with. As in who is the one who has her heart. I have someone else, but she has mine still and I think about her love. She wrote me a love note once after one of the times that I broke up with her. She left it in my briefcase for me to find. I want to find that note. I want to have evidence of her love in her handwriting. But I cannot find it.



Product Details
  • ISBN-13: 9781088751992
  • Publisher: Independently Published
  • Publisher Imprint: Independently Published
  • Height: 229 mm
  • No of Pages: 158
  • Spine Width: 10 mm
  • Weight: 299 gr
  • ISBN-10: 1088751997
  • Publisher Date: 07 Aug 2019
  • Binding: Paperback
  • Language: English
  • Returnable: N
  • Sub Title: A Memoir
  • Width: 152 mm


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