About the Book
Social emotional literacy is for everyone!
Adults are tasked with teaching social emotional literacy (SEL), including skills like curiosity, respect, and problem-solving, but too often we fail to acknowledge or tend to our own well-being.
In SEL Muscle Mastery, you will discover six SEL Muscles™ that, when strengthened and flexed with skill, support our own emotional balance and are key to building resilient and joyful environments where we can effectively teach and kids can sustainably learn. Inside this transformative guidebook, you′ll discover:
A framework for managing student behavior and classroom dynamics, finding personal fulfillment, and supporting the whole child
Reflection prompts for readers to use to consider what is present in the moment and what is possible in the future
Links to videos and an open-access curriculum
Exercises, stories, and examples for teachers, caregivers, and community members
In this beautifully illustrated book, Lori Woodley-Langendorff, a former school counselor and award-winning film producer and educational consultant, presents a powerful new toolkit to enhance your ability to navigate difficult circumstances with greater ease and joy, both in and out of the classroom.
Table of Contents:
Author Bio
Acknowledgments
Foreword
Preface
Key Words, Phrases, & Ideas
Purpose & Research
How To Use This Book
Introduction
The Power of SEL Muscles in Our Lives
The SEL Muscles
Notice Choose Act®: The Framework To Achieve SEL Muscle Mastery
Muscle #1: QTIP
Introduction to QTIP
QTIP for Educators
QTIP for Families and Carers
QTIP Cautious Considerations
QTIP Review
QTIP Pause and Reflect
Muscle #2: The Power of ′I′
Introduction to Power of I
Power of I for Educators
Power of I for Families and Carers
Power of I for Cautious Considerations
Power of I Review
Power of I Pause and Reflect
Muscle #3: Ask vs Tell
Introduction to Ask vs Tell
Ask vs Tell for Educators
Ask vs Tell for Families and Carers
Ask vs Tell Cautious Considerations
Ask vs Tell Review
Ask vs Tell Pause and Reflect
Muscle #4: Storytelling
Introduction to Storytelling
Storytelling for Educators
Storytelling for Families and Carers
Storytelling Cautious Considerations
Storytelling Review
Storytelling Pause and Reflect
Muscle #5: Curiosity
Introduction to Curiosity
Curiosity for Education
Curiosity for Families and Carers
Curiosity Cautious Considerations
Curiosity Review
Curiosity Pause and Reflect
Muscle #6: Walk The Talk
Introduction to Walk The Talk
Walk The Talk for Educators
Walk The Talk for Families and Carers
Walk The Talk Cautious Considerations
Walk The Talk Review
Walk The Talk Pause and Reflect
Conclusion - Finding Success
About the Author :
Lori Woodley-Langendorff, MS, PPS, CEO and founder of All It Takes, is an experiential keynote speaker, trainer, and author supporting youth and those who serve them to develop critical social-emotional literacy skills that empower them to successfully navigate their lives and support their communities through both joyful and trying times. Mother of two grown children, Lori has a combined 30+ years working as a school counselor, consultant, curriculum developer and most recently author, creator, producer, and featured expert of the free-to-access, award-winning film and curriculum series, A Trusted Space. Additional productions include CASC’s Heartbeat video and the national PSA, This Is A Trusted Space, which aired throughout 2024 to an audience of over 1.5 billion.
Professional publications and appearances include:
A Trusted Space, Redirecting Grief to Growth, 2020, A Trusted Space the Series, 2023 (featured expert and producer)
Building Trusted Spaces in 5 Days, ©2020 (author)
Leadership Development Through Physical Education (LDTPE), ©2015, version 1.4 2024 (author)
Shine Your Light, ©2017 (featured author)
Review :
"In a world that often feels disconnected, developing ′SEL muscles′ is more essential than ever for fostering meaningful connections and promoting healthy relationships—with both others and ourselves. This book masterfully combines evidence-based practices and research to present six critical tools for personal growth. Lori Woodley-Langendorff draws on the expertise of specialists, seamlessly blending neuroscience with practical, actionable steps to help readers enhance their lives."
"In SEL Muscle Mastery, Lori offers a revolutionary approach to building emotional strength and fostering connection. Her six tools are not just strategies—they are life-changing practices that align perfectly with living your passions and creating meaningful relationships. This book is an essential guide for anyone ready to make a difference in their own life and the lives of others."
"With over thirty years of experience in education, I’ve never seen a greater need for schools to be equipped with tools that address social-emotional learning. I believe we have yet to fully recognize the long-term impact COVID has had on children, and how these effects continue to manifest even five years later. This book is rooted in solid research, with tools that Lori’s team has successfully used to demonstrate effective strategies and practices that can be easily applied in classrooms. I am grateful for Lori’s expertise and collaboration with our school, and I am thrilled that others will now benefit from her valuable insights."
"As a child and family therapist, I’m often asked for quick, effective solutions that deliver immediate results. This book provides exactly that—a practical, accessible guide to better understanding yourself through six core SEL muscles. The book includes relatable examples from both classroom and home settings, and it breaks down each concept into actionable steps, empowering readers to become stronger leaders, clearer communicators, and more thoughtful problem-solvers in their families, classrooms, and communities. Each SEL muscle builds on essential skills like empathy, accountability, and curiosity, offering tools that are not only easy to apply but also profoundly effective. By consistently flexing these muscles, readers can create lasting, meaningful change in their relationships and inspire those around them to grow as well."
"SEL Muscle Mastery is a game-changer for educators and parents seeking practical strategies to strengthen emotional resilience and create a more balanced life. With relatable insights and actionable techniques, this book equips readers with six essential mental muscles to navigate challenges with confidence and ease. It′s a must-read for anyone committed to fostering emotional intelligence and well-being in themselves and the children they support!"
"The topic in SEL Muscle Mastery is timely, and I appreciate the manner in which Lori Woodley-Langendorff looks at the whole person AND the whole community. The author’s passion and personal stake are evident. They are honest that there can be pitfalls and difficulties, but that the benefits make up for the struggle.
Woodley-Langendorff shows the reader that flexing your muscles doesn’t just happen in the gym: in fact, we exercise our brains and bodies almost daily, yet we often fail to recognize the necessity in stretching our social and emotional skills. SEL Muscle Mastery makes the case for not only the existence of SEL muscles, but the importance of growing them with intentionality."
"Most of us accept the gloom and doom about our school systems: disengaged staff, outdated methods, and the countless safety concerns of students— and not just physical safety, but emotional and psychological safety as well. Instead of accepting the status quo, Lori Woodley-Langendorff has written a manifesto. These are the 6 Mental Muscles educators must build to not only teach our next generation, but also to have more fun doing it. Her ideas are battle-tested daily, in her living laboratory of storytelling, filmmaking, and creating movements with educators across the globe. If you got in the game to create safe spaces for your students to thrive, this is your book."
"SEL Muscle Mastery is an essential toolkit for anyone committed to nurturing resilience and connection for young people. This book expertly blends relatable stories and practical insights with transformative approaches, making it a must-read for educators and caregivers alike who are on the front lines of raising youth."
"SEL Muscle Mastery is for anyone wishing to broaden relationship skills with young people, family, colleagues, and larger community. Lori Woodley Langendorff has effectively outlined what and how to strengthen our core communications and trust-building muscles. Every incoming teacher and expectant family/carer should be given a copy of this book!"
"These all-too familiar stories encourage educators, parents, and caregivers to NOTICE the emotional tyranny we unnecessarily subject ourselves to. Woodley-Langendorff’s ′muscles′ empower readers with simple skills to CHOOSE and strategies to ACT, thus promoting harmony in our homes and classrooms. The author reassures us that although these muscles may not be easy to flex, they get easier with time."
"Lori Woodley-Langendorff′s SEL Muscle Mastery is an inspiring and actionable guide for educators and caregivers navigating the complexities of social-emotional learning. With relatable anecdotes, practical tools, and a focus on empowering both adults and young people, this book delivers on its promise to foster resilience, connection, and growth. Its emphasis on self-awareness and modeling positive behaviors makes it a transformative resource for anyone committed to creating trusted spaces where communities thrive. This is a must-read for those passionate about impactful education and personal growth."
"This book provides a resource for adults to learn more about SEL and how this can impact how they approach a task or problem with their students. This is a much needed resource for any adult that is working with students. Modeling, teaching, and learning how to listen and respond is crucial as mental health concerns continue to rise in our young people.
This resource would be a great addition to the work of our mental health wellness team. Equipping the adults with a clear understanding of their mental health and recognizing how we respond to student needs."
"As a school counselor, I am profoundly inspired by Lori Woodley-Langendorff′s unwavering dedication to empowering others through social-emotional learning (SEL). Her book, SEL Muscle Mastery, introduces the transformative ′Notice, Choose, Act′ framework, which has significantly enhanced my ability to support students′ emotional and social development. By treating SEL as a muscle to be strengthened, this guide provides practical strategies that have elevated my practice and deepened my connection with students. Lori′s commitment to cultivating atmospheres where individuals recognize their inherent greatness and the interconnectedness of our life journeys makes this an invaluable resource for educators devoted to nurturing well-rounded individuals."
"SEL Muscle Mastery serves as a blueprint for developing and strengthening essential life skills—self-awareness, self-management, social awareness, relationship-building, and decision-making. The powerful concept of Notice. Act. Choose. transforms us from passive bystanders into active difference-makers. Written in a user-friendly style, this book empowers educators and caregivers alike to foster meaningful relationships, personal growth, and lasting change. While SEL muscles are not a new concept, Woodley-Langendorff inspires readers to actively engage in strengthening what matters most: relationships."
"SEL Muscle Mastery is a transformative and essential guide for educators and caregivers seeking to build resilience and foster deep connections with students. Lori Woodley-Langendorff masterfully blends research-backed strategies with relatable storytelling, equipping readers with practical SEL tools that create trusted spaces for growth. This book is a must-read for anyone dedicated to supporting the well-being of young people while strengthening their emotional intelligence and leadership."
"With over twenty years of experience teaching grades six through twelve, my success has been rooted in building positive relationships in a student-centered classroom. The ideas Lori Woodley-Langendorff shares in this book reinforce the work. I was lucky enough to witness and learn from her as a colleague, and I found myself once again being reminded and re-energized by what I read. Veteran teachers and new teachers alike, along with other VIPs in students’ lives, will find encouragement that well-being matters and can make all the difference in the way we are equipped to better our students’ lives and educational experiences."
"This book is a must-have for educators seeking to foster students′ social-emotional growth while also nurturing their own well-being. Packed with practical strategies, it equips teachers to create supportive, empathetic learning environments without sacrificing self-care. SEL Muscles is a powerful guide for balanced and sustainable SEL practice."
"The author of SEL Muscle Mastery feels like a trusted friend sitting down to share practical, powerful tools for communicating with heart and clarity. Through simple, relatable advice like using "I-statements," not taking things personally, and getting clear on what you need, it offers strategies anyone can apply in everyday life. Whether in a classroom, at home, or in any relationship, these tools—perfectly described as muscles to practice and strengthen—are thoughtfully presented in a way that’s both easy to read and genuinely empowering."
"This is a powerful and practical guide that helps you cultivate emotional intelligence through a blend of personal reflection and actionable strategies. Designed for both educators and parents, each chapter offers insightful exercises and creative prompts that allow you to make the content your own, fostering deeper connections and personal growth. Whether journaling, reflecting, or engaging with the material in another way, this book provides valuable tools to navigate everyday life with awareness and intention."
"Lori′s Woodley-Langendorff′s SEL Muscle Mastery offers a groundbreaking approach to building emotional intelligence and resilience. Through practical exercises and insightful strategies, it empowers readers to strengthen key social and emotional skills that are vital for success in both personal and professional settings. It’s a must-read for anyone looking to enhance their emotional well-being and navigate life′s challenges with confidence and empathy. This book is an invaluable resource for educators, parents, and individuals alike!"
"If you are looking for practical ways to create emotional resilience, look no further than SEL Muscle Mastery. This is a masterful work with practical applications for anyone looking to help either themselves or others grow their emotional intelligence. Lori Woodley-Langendorff’s work is based on practical experience as well as research and is easy to read and apply. Having personally observed her work with children over a long period of time, this book summarizes all that Lori has gleaned in those experiences as well as the work she has done with notable experts in this space. Reading it will give you a new perspective or will reinforce and extend what you are already thinking!"
"SEL Muscle Mastery is a book for anyone who works with children. Helping students develop SEL skills ensures our children not only flourish in the school setting, but also in life! Teaching children to notice, choose, and act at an early age helps them to be empathetic to those around them as well as reflective of their own impact."
"SEL Muscle Mastery is a game-changer for educators, providing six powerful tools to build resilience, emotional intelligence, and authentic connection in schools and communities. This book goes beyond theory, offering practical strategies that transform classroom culture, deepen student engagement, and create lasting impact. By strengthening SEL educators, Lori empowers students with the confidence and skills they need to navigate life’s challenges with resilience and purpose. This is a must-read for anyone committed to shaping the future of education.
"The timing of SEL Muscle Mastery is perfect: this book highlights the critical need for developing emotional intelligence and interpersonal skills, especially for educators and caregivers working with young people. In today′s complex, fast-paced world, these "SEL muscles" seem increasingly important for building strong relationships and supporting healthy development. The framework is grounded in research and best practices, making it a credible approach. Additionally, the author′s tone is warm, understanding, and invites the reader to be a partner in the process. This helps establish trust and credibility, making the guidance throughout the book feel more accessible and supportive."
"SEL Muscle Mastery is an extraordinary resource for educators, parents, and caregivers who want to nurture resilience and empathy in young people. Lori’s innovative strategies bridge the gap between emotional intelligence and happiness, offering practical tools that inspire lasting change. Her work is a beacon of hope for creating more compassionate schools and communities."
"SEL Muscle Mastery offers a revolutionary and thought-provoking way to teach and learn, especially with the advancement of AI, the fastest-growing technology in human history. Lori Woodley-Langendroff′s insights and practices are needed for human beings to live, think, and love."
"SEL Muscle Mastery is an essential toolkit for educators and caregivers alike. Through powerful messaging and relatable anecdotes, Lori Woodley-Langendorff equips readers with feasible ways to foster healthy relationships with children and adolescents. As an education researcher and a former special education teacher, I find this book particularly powerful because it encourages sustainable practices that may mitigate educator burnout and caregiver fatigue. Readers are guided with actionable steps to help them grow as individuals so they can better support others with various needs."
"With this book, Lori completely took me out of my comfort zone. She took me outside of the books with which I had been taught, the mentoring I had, and the lessons I learned while attending school. She made me grow me in ways that have made me a force to be reckoned with as a school counselor."
"Lori Woodley-Langendorff’s SEL Muscle Mastery is an essential guide for educators, parents, and caregivers committed to shaping resilient, empathetic, and self-aware young people. Ms. Woodley-Langendorff’s introduces SEL Muscles—transformative tools like QTIP (Quit Taking It Personally) and Walk the Talk—offering a practical framework for navigating emotional challenges with clarity and compassion. Her engaging approach invites readers to rethink how they engage with young people, emphasizing connection, trust, and mutual growth. By integrating personal stories, actionable strategies, and the innovative Notice Choose Act framework, Woodley equips readers to meet challenges with purpose and optimism. This book not only uplifts young lives but also rejuvenates the adults guiding them. It is a must-read for anyone striving to foster meaningful relationships and resiliency in our children and youth."
