This book explores the early father-child experience from an intimate, first-person perspective, through the lens of a gestalt therapist and his family.
Describing and reflecting upon several of his own experiences, author Vikram Kolmannskog shares how the knowledge gained from gestalt therapy influences his parenting, and how his parenting experiences enrich his practice and understanding of gestalt therapy. Spanning a five-year time period from 2020 to 2025, which includes the first three years of his son Leo’s life, the book covers several different aspects of parenting: queer, emotional, conflicting, playful, and ecological.
An important and unique addition to the growing body of work on fatherhood and queer parenting, this book will be of benefit to practitioners and researchers within the fields of gestalt psychotherapy, psychotherapy more generally, parenthood and early childhood. Parents and caregivers in all forms of families will also find this book of interest for the way that it approaches the topic of parenting.
Table of Contents:
Dedication
Acknowledgments
Introduction
‘I’ll Be a Girl This Morning.’ Queer Parenting
‘Hello, Jealousy! Hello, Anger!’ Emotional Parenting
‘Papa Dee And Papa Da Are Arguing.’ Conflicting Parenting
‘It’s Fun!’ Playful Parenting
‘Please Help Us, Grandma Willow.’ Eco-Parenting
‘How Could I Write About Him?’ Researcher-Parenting
Index
About the Author :
Vikram Kolmannskog is a full professor at the Norwegian Gestalt Institute and gestalt therapist with a private therapy and supervision practice near Oslo. He is the author of several books, including The Empty Chair (2018), and co-editor of Queering Gestalt Therapy (2023).
Review :
‘Deeply engaging and enthralling, Life with Leo mixes gestalt therapy, a love story, and how raising baby changes us. It also invites us to embrace nature and eco-awareness. It does so through the compelling story of Vikram’s developmental journey into fatherhood. I was deeply touched, I laughed, I cheered him on through his mistakes and his learning. You will too.’
Lynne Jacobs, PhD, co-founder and senior faculty of Pacific Gestalt Institute, training analyst at Institute of Contemporary Psychoanalysis, co-author of The Healing Relationship in Gestalt Therapy.
‘Life with Leo is a beautifully written and informative book. With tenderness and insight, Vikram portrays the joys and challenges of parenting as a queer father and co-parent. The text is interwoven with research and theory from gestalt therapy and other relevant disciplines. This is an essential read for educators, psychotherapists, parents, and anyone seeking a better understanding of today’s diverse and evolving family life.’
Ruella Frank, PhD, founder and director of Center for Somatic Studies, author of The Bodily Roots of Experience in Psychotherapy.
‘I am so glad that Vikram is bringing love, mindfulness, honest storytelling, and support to queer families and helping all to open their hearts and learn with them.’
Jack Kornfield, clinical psychologist and mindfulness teacher, co-founder of Insight Meditation Society, author of A Path With Heart.
'Vikram gets under the skin of what it means to be a parent of a young child. With a fierce commitment to telling it how it is, he delves into the doubts, jealousies, and miscommunication that go with being a parent. Skilfully woven in are reflections on theory and literature which confirm the messy reality. Alongside all this are joy, playfulness and love. Importantly, Vikram writes as a queer co-parent, and yet that doesn't define this book, which can speak to anyone. This seems to be as much about being a parent who had their own parents, as an insightful reflection on being human.'
Miriam Taylor, gestalt therapy supervisor and trainer in private practice, author of Deepening Trauma Practice: A Gestalt Approach to Ecology and Ethics.
‘This book offers the poetic prose and vividness that is the hallmark of any good memoir, and it offers so much more. It includes historical context along with insights into the complexities of co-created family and parenting, as well as seamlessly interweaving clear explanations of relevant Gestalt therapy ideas and Buddhist practices. Academically and intellectually rigorous, it also shines with the humanity of personal story that is a warm invitation into intimate spaces of self-revelation. I highly recommend this book to readers of every stripe.
Eva Gold, PsyD, co-founder and senior faculty of Gestalt Therapy Training Center Northwest, co-author of Buddhist Psychology & Gestalt Therapy Integrated.
‘Thoughtful, honest, moving, Life with Leo invites us to take a mindful approach to parenting whilst remembering to forgive ourselves. Every parent should read this!’
Rajeev Balasubramanyam, PhD, writer, author of Professor Chandra Follows His Bliss.
'Insightful, candid, kind, Life with Leo is a must-read for anyone interested in the society we live in and the values we pass on to children and the next generation.'
Gro Skottun, co-founder of the Norwegian Gestalt Institute, co-author of Gestalt Therapy Practice.
