The Fraud of the Rings

(This book is also available as an ebook with the same title, and as a hardback, 'The Marriage Delusion: the fraud of the rings?'). Back cover text: Have you struggled to find happiness in your own marriage(s)? If so, you're not alone. You're in the company of countless people around the world who are, or who have been, unhappily married. But have you ever considered that you might just be unsuited to marriage, regardless of your partner? Or even that most people in the developed world in the modern era might be unsuited to marriage? For some years over 50 per cent of marriages across the developed world have ended in divorce, or are predicted to do so in the fullness of time. That's the 'marriage crisis'. And around 50 per cent of the marriages that don't end in divorce are thought to be broadly unhappy. Most of us are deluded when we marry with expectations of long and happy marriages. That's the 'fraud of the rings'. Never has the divorce rate been higher despite an ever-growing army of marriage and relationship counsellors, and countless publications offering advice on how to make a success of marriage. Isn't it time we examined the possibility that individual personal unhappiness, along with the ready availability of divorce, might largely explain the high and rising divorce rate? And explain it better than the customary analysis of a decline in 'traditional values'? This book is the outcome of a British writer's lengthy quest to explore the causes of unhappiness in marriage. He concluded that a number of marriage risk factors make finding happiness in marriage a challenge for most people. And the more risk factors a person has, the lower are his or her prospects of a happy marriage. The risk factors include introversion, a personality type that is common to 54 per cent of men (including the writer) and 47 per cent of women, yet is widely misunderstood. Another risk factor is not sharing the same religion as a spouse. The book covers these issues and others contributing to marital unhappiness, including the different natures of men and women, individualism, declining love and lust, sex, personal aptitude for marriage, mutual compatibility, the link between extraversion and adultery, the genetic link to propensity to divorce, and depression. In an insightful, thought-provoking and occasionally humorous way, 'The Fraud of the Rings' explains why most marriages can't be expected to be happy, and outlines what could be done to remedy the situation, and reduce the divorce rate. The book injects some long-overdue realism into the marriage crisis debate.

Table of Contents:
Acknowledgements Introduction 1. The fraud of the rings and the issues undermining modern marriage 2. Marriage and traditional families 3. The different natures of men and women 4. Personality types, introversion and extraversion, genetics, adultery 5. Love, lust, sex, fantasy, gender rancour, romantic fiction 6. Readiness for marriage, compatibility, marital disharmony, depression and persistence, predicting outcomes 7. Political correctness 8. Religion 9. The law relating to marriage and divorce in England and Wales, asset division in divorce settlements 10. The future of marriage APPENDICES The letter to the chief executive of Relate The letter to The Rt Hon Harriet Harman QC MP The Seekers: A case study in cognitive dissonance Personality types and the Myers-Briggs Type Indicator (R) Quotations about love, sex, marriage ... Quotations: Index of writers and speakers References and further reading Index of cited publications Subject index

About the Author :
Mike Buchanan, 52, is a British author and a former business consultant. He has had five other books published since 2008. Published by LPS publishing: Buchanan's Dictionary of Quotations for Conservatives (for when only the right quotation will do) - 2010 Harriet Harman Drove me to France - 2010 Two Men in a Car (a businessman, a chauffeur, and their holidays in France) - 2008 Guitar Gods in Beds. (Bedfordshire: a heavenly county) - 2008 Published by Kogan Page: Profitable Buying Strategies (how to reduce your procurement costs and buy your way to higher profits) - 2008

Review :
'A highly original and stimulating critique of the modern marriage crisis, supported by important yet sometimes uncomfortable truths.' Oliver James, clinical psychologist, broadcaster, author of 'Affluenza', 'Britain on the Couch', 'They Fxxx You Up' 'Mike Buchanan's analysis of marriage in western industrialised society is courageous and thoughtful. His perspectives on the challenges associated with marriage, and solutions to them, draw on important scientific evidence and arguments from some of our leading psychologists and wisest philosophers. This is a 'must-read' for all concerned with modern marriage.' Alan Carr, Professor of Clinical Psychology, University College, Dublin, author of 'The Handbook of Adult Clinical Psychology', 'Family Therapy' and 'Positive Psychology'