About the Book
After family breakdown, reaching agreement about children can be difficult. It seems far more common for children to live with one parent, usually the mother, and some fathers subsequently face an unequal struggle to remain part of their children's lives. This practical guide is based on the experiences of FNF members and their families. It will be of interest to anyone concerned to make sure children get the best of both parents' worlds after family breakdown. It will be of interest to anyone wanting to ensure children get the best of both parents' worlds after family breakdown. It provides invaluable information about the real issues that have to be faced, such as dealing sensitively with your ex-partner, coping with the various agencies who may become involved and getting to grips with the legal system and the courts. The main message for anyone who has 'lost' part of their family is: Don't ever give up hope.
Table of Contents:
Part 1 Introduction: the need for information, advice, support - don't give up hope, limitations of the guide, a word of caution about taking advice, basic principles; setting the scene -unmarried fathers and "parental responsibility", mediation/conciliation, start from shared parenting principles, an uneven playing field. Part 2 Being positive: what is best for children?: what would they choose?, the need to be included, conflicts of interest, adapting the changes, children still need both parents; making the best of being the "other" parent - be positive about your "ex"-partner; consideration, cooperation, compromise, communication - be considerate and listen, cooperate, compromise, open up channels of communication, give the benefit of the doubt, drawing the line, admitting you make mistakes, but you still love your children, keeping calm; walking on eggshells -possible solutions, freedom and risk; making the most of time together or apart - accommodation, children's possessions etc, distance between homes, when children are moved away, holidays overseas, abduction, practical considerations, indirect contact. Part 3 Being realistic: getting to grips; caring for children - be confident, parental leave, state benefits, resistance, allegations of abuse; contact centres - think long-term; supporting children -getting information about your children, change of name, open days, parents' evenings etc, get involved, maintenance, children under pressure, responsibility, Child Support Agency (CSA); support from the wider family - grandparents (and aunts, uncles, others who care), new partners; implacable hostility - parental alienation. Part 4 Basic information: legal framework - court orders concerning children, common practice, legal aid; understanding the system - the family court, types of courts, choosing a solicitor, beware of legal costs, representing yourself, the Family Court Welfare Service (FCWS), using "the system"; summary - for the sake of the children. Part 5 Reference section: families need fathers; other sources of advice or information; government departments.
About the Author :
Sue Secker, Families Need Fathers
Review :
"The days are gone when the man would leave all matters concerning the upbringing of the children to the mother, if indeed such days ever really existed. Nowadays men's desire to be involved with their children are as often voiced as women's demand for power in the workplace and the political arena. And a child's need to have a relationship with both parents is becoming increasingly recognised... A book like this is such a good idea. FNF have over twenty-five years' experience in providing support and help to divorced or separated families... it certainly helped me after my divorce, and I am lucky to maintain a loving and continuous life with my son." -- Nigel Planer.
