Facing Age: A Practical Guide for Families

‘How can we help our parents as they grow old, and what about our own retirement?’ As the population ages, increasing numbers of people are facing difficult questions about ageing, retirement, death and its aftermath. Many find it difficult to absorb and understand the detailed information required in order to make sensible decisions for their parents and for themselves. Nancye Bourke presents all the information you need in this clear and practical self-help guide. Community and health support systems in Australia and New Zealand are well established to assist the ageing person and their family as they move through the active retirement years to the point where failing health requires increasing support. Facing Age describes the systems available to support ageing, death and its aftermath. Among the issues covered are how assessment works, the provision of assistance in the home, hospitalisation, the problems of disability and abuse and remaining mentally healthy. Death creates a new set of questions as funerals must be arranged and estates settled. These days families are often widely scattered, possibly with a range of values and beliefs as well, so it is especially important that good communication and mutual respect are maintained. Nancye Bourke offers excellent advice to family members in such situations and emphasises the importance of understanding the special emotions of absence and grief that surface at times of crisis and loss. Facing Age concludes with a comprehensive list of useful addresses and contact details.

Table of Contents:
ACKNOWLEDGEMENTS FOREWORD INTRODUCTION PART 1: AGEING PARENTS 1 WHAT IS AGEING? 2 POSITIVE AGEING Why bother to plan for your future? 3 POSITIVE RETIREMENT PLANNING Money management Healthy living Housing Personal safety Partnerships and family Filling in your retirement years Legal matters Funeral planning 4 FAILING HEALTH 5 MANAGING FAILING HEALTH How can you help yourself? How can others help you? Community-based health services Hospital-based health services Assessment services for older people Housing options for older people 6 IT CAN HELP TO KNOW Living with a disability Understanding depression and confusion Elder abuse and neglect Preventing elder abuse and neglect Health and Disability Code of Rights 7 FACING DEATH IN OLD AGE How will your family face death? 8 AFTER DEATH 9 THE FUNERAL Setting a time and place for the funeral What sort of funerals are there? After the funeral 10 SETTLING THE ESTATE PART 2: THE FAMILY 11 WHY DO FAMILIES MATTER? The family story Family harmony 12 MANAGING CHANGE Parents’ retirement Moving from the family home Parents’ health – sudden illness Parents’ health – chronic illness, disability and frailty Scattered family visiting Moving to residential care Death and funeral of a parent/partner Settling the estate Unavailable to help Becoming well informed Family secrets PART 3: YOURSELF LOOKING AFTER YOURSELF Remaining positive Grief Depression Stress Anger A FINAL WORD APPENDIX FORMS AND CHECKLISTS Group A Retirement budget Positive retirement planning Personal information – Required by executor Personal information – Location of documents Personal information – People to be notified Personal information – Distribution of personal items Group B Choosing low-level residential care (Rest homes or Hostels) Choosing high-level residential care (Long-stay hospitals or Nursing homes) FURTHER INFORMATION New Zealand resources Australian resources BIBLIOGRAPHY INDEX

About the Author :
Nancye Bourke worked as an occupational therapist for thirty years in Canada, England and New Zealand, and has been involved in the development of modern professional services for older people. Subsequently she became a reitrement planning facilitator with a large corportation, trained as a telephone counsellor and worked as a volunteer for a national organisation. She now lives in Auckland runs a small family business with her husband.