The Incomplete Tim Key: About 300 of his poetical gems and what-nots

We hereby present Key's most comprehensive collection of poeticals put together to date. The sheer weight of the book is testament to this comprehensivality. It's full of poems by Key (award-winning) primarily about love, sex, dreams, death and fruit (strawberries, beans etc). The publishing of the book in no way ties in with things like 'demand' or 'clamour' but is more a result of Key having a full English breakfast with the right person at the right time. If you are tempted to buy it then just flick through and check you like it - a lot of people don't - and if it's not for you then buy some Rankin or see if Nigella Lawson's got a new cookbook out with her curves splayed over the cover. Key is not the sort of person to take offence. He's just happy that someone has bothered to touch it. That is enough for Key (Newswipe).

About the Author :
Key (34) is ideal. He is a poet who favours dark suits, lager and long hot baths. He works on BBC Four in Charlie Brooker's Newswipe and on Radio 4, doing his late night poetry show. In 2009 he won the Edinburgh Comedy Award for his poetical recital The Slutcracker and has filmed some of his poeticals in black and white to overwhelming critical approval. This is his most comprehensive collection of poems to date. NB. I hate writing these. My publisher, a man in his thirties, asked for something from me and I (contractually) had to oblige but really I found the whole thing pretty abhorrent. If it were down to me, which it isn't (contractually) I would have either had nothing here, or just something simple like a picture of a hen. But that wouldn't cut it with the man in his thirties. I can just imagine him using phrases like 'why do you propose we have a hen on the back?' and 'read your contract, you have to deliver copy for the back, not suggest an illustration'. But on topics such as

Review :
* Key locates the spot where poetry, comedy and art intersect, picnics there pleasurably, then takes a crap on it. -- Adam Buxton * I am jealous of my friend Tim Key. He has one of the funniest, smartest comic minds in the country. If women start finding him attractive I will hang myself. -- Stephen Merchant * Renders all other poetry collections redundant, which they were anyway. -- Charlie Brooker * If there's a funnier book of poems published this year, then we will eat all the hats in the Dazed fashion cupboard. ... [Key] is one of those rare and blessed people who seem almost biologically incapable of doing anything that isn't completely hilarious. ... a total comic masterpiece from a total comic genius Dazed and Confused * Key is a brilliantly intelligent comic. His poems are hugely skilful, and often funnier in five lines than many comedians can manage to be in an hour on stage The List Praise for Tim Key's stand-up shows: 'The writing is terribly acute ... the delivery beyond funny The Guardian * He's a genius plain and simple. Whilst he's definitely an acquired taste, once you have acquired it you'll agree with us that there isn't a better comic out there. Time Out * In any other sphere apart from comedy, we'd probably class this way of looking at the world as certifiable. Here it feels like genius. The Telegraph * A hidden gem ... artfully shambolic ... Pitched somewhere between Withnail and Eddie The Eagle. Metro * It's incredibly funny, but as a mood piece, almost a happening. The Times * Key spearheads a generation of comics which seeks to do much more than make us laugh. This is a man going places Independent Praise for Instructions, Guidelines, Tutelage, Suggestions, Other Suggestions and Examples Etc.: 'This book is peppered with majestically off-the-wall invention. The Guardian * Key has the soul of a master poet trapped inside the body of a drunken tramp. With every turn of the page a new adventure into the weird and wonderful world of this abstract genius begins. Time Out * It is daft and surreal and genuinely laughter-inducing. ID Magazine * The poems come alive with his performance - the clumsy, slightly confused, deadpan delivery, the comedic timing and, best of all, his penchant for intruding with ludicrous digressions, often only to state some obvious but crucial piece of subtext... he is quite the talent. -- Richard Fitzpatrick Irish Examiner * If there's a funnier book of poems published this year, then we will eat all the hats in the Dazed fashion cupboard. ... [Key] is one of those rare and blessed people who seem almost biologically incapable of doing anything that isn't completely hilarious. ... a total comic masterpiece from a total comic genius Dazed & Confused * Key is a brilliantly intelligent comic. His poems are hugely skillful, and often funnier in five lines than many comedians can manage to be in an hour on stage. The List * an epic tome Dazed & Confused * If there's a funnier book of poems published this year, then we will eat all the hats in the Dazed fashion cupboard Dazed & Confused * Continually LOL-provoking... it is literally laugh-a-minute. Most of the poems are so short that it's probably more like laugh-a-20 seconds... either way, you'll laugh a lot Dazed & Confused * A total comic masterpiece from a total comic genius who, if there's any justice, ought to be Poet Laureate one day Dazed & Confused * Surreal anecdotes, wry asides and Key's dry-but-sweet delivery all give the audiobook added value, as does the background presence of musician friend Joe Auckland Time Out * Deadpan minimalist poems straddle the line between genius and mockery Evening Standard * endearingly enigmatic... one of our hippest clowns Evening Standard * a cool hybrid of poetry, stand-up and character comedy The Scotsman * one of the funniest, smartest comic minds in the country Stephen Merchant * renders all other poetry collections redundant Charlie Brooker