Everyone loves a story about people who beat the odds. But what about those who didn't?
In the years she spent hoping to conceive a child with her husband, Chloe Caldwell consumed everything she could find on infertility. No matter the book or reddit forum, her experiences seemed absent amid stories of IVF and miracle babies.
Bouncing between her job at a boutique selling 'life-changing pants' and the fertility clinic offering 'innovative ways to create your family', Caldwell ignored the sense that something else in her life was wrong until she extracted a confession from her husband.
In this candid and intimate memoir, Caldwell confronts the irresolution and uncertainty of those denied their deepest desire to become a mother and discovers how, even in the depths of grief, new pleasures and possibilities can be found.
What begins as an account of trying to create life becomes a bold and brave journey to rebuild one's own. At once hilarious and heartbreaking, Trying reveals how, even when life blows up, sometimes it's only the beginning.
'The queen of irreverence and confessionalism Chloe Caldwell... gives readers a wide-eyed look at her life in a time of great uncertainty. With tenderness, humility, curiosity and familiarity that readers have come to expect from Caldwell, her latest memoir is a touching and liberating look into identity, fertility and becoming' Felicia Reich, Paste Magazine
'Caldwell's compact and wide-ranging musings are wry surprising and fresh' Amy Fusselman, author of The Means
'In Trying, Caldwell shows in the most hilarious, heartbreaking ways how our culture drives women batshit crazy and then pretends this insanity is healthy adulthood. What a relief to watch a woman become truly sane: wild, free, spontaneous, slutty, unapologetic, fully alive' Hannah Tennant-Moore, author of Wreck and Order
'When I finished reading the book, I began it again. I found pleasure in the limbo, in the between. I wanted to be in Caldwell's language forever' LA Warman
'A fearless ode to unrequited desire' Steve Almond, author of Truth is the Arrow, Mercy is the Bow
'An intimate, engaging memoir' Kirkus Reviews
About the Author :
Chloe Caldwell is the author of Women (Fourth Estate reissue, 2024), the memoir The Red Zone (Soft Skull, 2022), and the essay collections I'll Tell You in Person (Emily Books/Coffee House Press, 2016) and Legs Get Led Astray (Short Flight/Long Drive reissue, 2017). Her essays have appeared in the New York Times, Bon Appetit, the Cut, Autostraddle, Longreads, and Nylon.
Review :
Funny, wise and uplifting... You will pick up this book and fly through its pages
Blazing, bold and wildly stylish - when I'm reading Caldwell I feel as though a best friend is holding me, soothing me, entertaining me, igniting me, nourishing me - all the greatest things that writing can do. Trying is a tour de force of wit, pain, panache, raw desire and joyous depth. Caldwell has a unique gift of capturing the modern female experience - with all of its anxieties, complexities, wildness, and cages. I love how she swims against the tide and plays with the page. Trying is a triumph
Trying moved me and consumed me; it's a great gutting swirl of grief and freedom and vitality. A searing whispered vision. I am grateful for it
Caldwell describes desire like no one else... Every sentence is intimate and stunning, and it will take you weeks from when you arrive at the end of this book to extricate yourself from Caldwell's brain, to separate your thoughts from hers, to even want to... In Trying, Caldwell exposes the messiness of growth, forgiveness, and moving on
In Trying, Caldwell begins and ends alone. A process of creation is thwarted. She repeats the cycle over and over until a rupture ensures it cannot be repeated again. When I finished reading the book, I began it again. I found pleasure in the limbo, in the between. I wanted to be in Caldwell's language forever
