I Beg to Differ – Navigating Difficult Conversations with Truth and Love

About the Book

How do we communicate with people who disagree with us? In today's polarized world, friends and strangers clash with each other over issues large and small. Coworkers have conflicts in the office. Married couples fight over finances. And online commenters demonize one another's political and religious perspectives. Is there any hope for restoring civil discourse? Communications expert Tim Muehlhoff provides a strategy for having difficult conversations, helping us move from contentious debate to constructive dialogue. By acknowledging and entering into the other person's story, we are more likely to understand where they're coming from and to cultivate common ground. Insights from Scripture and communication theory provide practical ways to manage disagreements and resolve conflicts. We can disagree without being disagreeable. And we can even help another see different points of view and learn from one another. Find out how.

Table of Contents:

Table of Contents
Foreword by Gregg Ten Elshof
Acknowledgments
Introduction

Part I: Understanding Communication
1. Reclaiming the Power of Words
2. What Causes Verbal Dams to Rupture?
3. Managing and Expressing Emotions in the Midst of Disagreement
4. Spiritual Disciplines: Power to Resolve Conflict

Part II: Organizing a Conversation
5. Question One: What Does this Person Believe?
6. Question Two: Why Does This Person Hold This Belief?
7. Question Three: Where do We Agree?
8. The Rule of Reciprocation: Why Steps One Through Three Work
9. Question Four: Based on All I?ve Learned, How Should I Proceed?

Part III: Putting it into Practice
10. Case Study One: Disagreeing about Finances
11. Case Study Two: Disagreeing over Religion in the Workplace
12. Case Study Three: Teens and Excessive use of Video Games

Epilogue
Notes
Name and Subject Index
Scripture Index

About the Author :

Gregg A. Ten Elshof (PhD, University of Southern California) is professor of philosophy at Biola University. His areas of interest include metaphysics, epistemology, modern philosophy, and Confucianism. His book, I Told Me So: Self-Deception and the Christian Life won the Christianity Today 2009 Book Award for Christian Living. He is also author of Confucius for Christians. Elshof has published articles in Midwest Studies in Philosophy, The Modern Schoolman, Grazer Philosophische Studien, The Journal of Philosophical Research, International Studies in Philosophy, Philosophia Christi, and Christian Scholar's Review.

Tim Muehlhoff (PhD, University of North Carolina, Chapel Hill) is professor of communication at Biola University in La Mirada, California, where he teaches classes in family communication, interpersonal communication, persuasion, and gender. Tim is senior director of the Winsome Conviction Project. His books include I Beg to Differ, Eyes to See, and Winsome Persuasion.

Review :
"If we do nothing beyond listening with a sincere desire to understand our opponents and ask ourselves this question, it's possible we'll get farther than by pushing our own position too hard. In our rush to convince others that we're right and they're wrong about issues, we often run roughshod over relationships that could be vital to creating lasting change on issues about which we are passionate. I Beg to Differ is an excellent resource with helpful chapter summaries for easily bookmarking the many communication strategies it presents." "In his book, I Beg to Differ, Tim Muehlhoff provides an edifying foundation for navigating life's difficult conversations. Balanced with a healthy dosage of theoretical and practical insight into speech, communication and word choice, Muehlhoff peppers his book with solid scriptural support, realistic life examples and illustrations and insight from some of the leading scholars in the field of communication." "Communications expert Tim Muehlhoff provides a strategy for having difficult conversations, helping us move from contentious debate to constructive dialogue. By acknowledging and entering into the other person's story, we are more likely to understand where they're coming from and to cultivate common ground. Insights from Scripture and communication theory provide practical ways to manage disagreements and resolve conflicts." "I Beg to Differ charts the course we are looking for. Considering the causes of conflict, the power of words, our emotions and the role of spiritual disciplines, Muehlhoff offers a four-question strategy that helps us engage any disagreement with gentle conversation. The book closes with three case studies, applying the strategy to real-life, potentially volatile situations. So insightful! Fans of Ken Sande's Peacemaker will love this. Recommend this book to everyone." "This book prepares all Christians to face many of the blunt questions that unbelievers pose to them. It's a good handbook for survival methods during evangelistic outreach work."