The Unwanted Gift of Grief: A Ministry Approach

Learn how to embrace the painful gift of grief and use it for transformation and healing as you journey through the wilderness to a promised life. The Unwanted Gift of Grief is a passionate, practical guide through the grieving process for those who have suffered loss—and those who suffer with them. Rather than talking people out of their grief and pain as a way to make them feel better, this unique book invites them into the grief and pain as a way to healing, transformation and hope. Using real and in-depth ministry and counseling conversations, it identifies the journey through grief. This powerful book is equally valuable as a gift from a minister to a grieving person, as a professional guide for ministers and counselors, and as a training tool for lay ministers and congregation members. Built on the ministry concept of “sojourning,” The Unwanted Gift of Grief offers guidelines to be used in helping people in their journey through the adjustment period that follows a loss, a time that may include the darkness of disbelief, frustration, anger, sadness, depression, and healing light as they make their way through the wilderness of grief. Topics examined in The Unwanted Gift of Grief include: grief as gratitude and gift how family and culture can affect grieving different pathways through grief everyone grieves differently sudden loss, slow losing, rejection and suicide identifying the agony and characteristics of depression grief factors that affect marriage and sexuality saying “Yes” to death factors of faith, science and miracles the labor and contractions of dying and death the hope for healing and cure how to help: the Sojourner’s Process Guide the Grief Date: A Guide for Couples fifty ways to make it through the wilderness and much more The Unwanted Gift of Grief is an essential resource for anyone lost in the wilderness of loss and grief, and for professionals, lay ministers, family, and friends who care for them.

Table of Contents:
Claypool, Foreword. Acknowledgments. Introduction. Part I: The Unwanted Gift. Grief As Gratitude, Grief As Gift. Everyone Grieves Differently. Factors That Affect the Wilderness of Grief. Part II: The Wilderness of Grief. Unbelievable Darkness. Frustration and Anger Amid "Why?" Praying for a Miracle. Wrestling with Sadness and Depression. Healing: Experiencing the Light Again. And Yet…We Never Forget! Part III: Sojourners in the Wilderness—How to Help. Being a Sojourner. Sojourning with Those in Unbelievable Darkness. Sojourning with Those Frustrated and Angry Amid "Why?" Sojourning with Those Praying for a Miracle. Sojourning with Those Wrestling with Sadness and Depression. Sojourning with Those in Healing and Light. Part IV: More Ways toward Transformation. Marriage: Tough Enough Without Grief. Ways of Making It through the Wilderness of Grief. Notes. Suggested Reading. Index.

About the Author :
Tim P. VanDuivendyk, DMin, MDiv, BS, is chaplain and assistant vice president of spiritual care and development at Memorial Hermann Healthcare System in Houston, Texas.

Review :
“You might think everything that can possibly be said about grief is already written. Not so. Van Duivendyk’s personal experience with grief, plus decades of service as a hospital chaplain, a licensed professional counselor, and marriage and family therapist, enable him to speak to the subject from a unique perspective. The book avoids technical/academic jargon and is easy to understand. It is particularly meaningful to Christians who struggle with the faith aspects of loss.” Andrew D. Lester, PhD, professor emeritus of pastoral theology and pastoral counseling, Brite Divinity School, Texas Christian University “This book provides the structured learning required by most health professionals to conscientiously care for their patients and clients and grief. It should stand beside A Grief Observed by C. S. Lewis as the map or guideline to the stages of passion, grief, and discovery.” Elizabeth McSherry, MD, MPH, national consultant to Veterans Administration Chaplaincy “This book has certainly been a ministry to me. The author provides a theologically sound and practical approach to dealing with one of life’s most difficult and complex issues. Grief is a tough wilderness journey, and this book is invaluable and helping one through it.” Dan S. Wilford, MHA, former president of Memorial Hermann healthcare system “Van Duivendyk has clearly laid out his approach and presented it in a very manageable segments which will appeal to chaplains, local clergy, and especially Christian lay people. The author strikes an excellent balance between theory and practice.” Joan E. Hemenway, DMin, president, Association for Clinical Pastoral Education