About the Book
A unique approach to healing that emphasizes changing our perspectives instead of changing ourselves. Instead of struggling to change our inner experiences, we transform the container in which they are held. From here, wholeness and healing are possible; this is where actual change lives.
2024 Finalist, International Book Awards, Health: Psychology/Mental Health Category and Self Help: General Category
2025 Nautilus Silver Award, Psychology/Mental & Emotional Well-Being
One of the most significant sources of suffering comes from our human tendency to avoid difficult emotions. We are not taught how to face these unpleasant, often daily inner experiences (mind-body energies) and so we tend to push them away, ignore them, or become unwittingly overwhelmed by them. Yet how we meet and greet these difficult emotions has everything to do with our well-being, resilience, and ability to connect with ourselves and others.Instinctually, we fight against our uncomfortable emotions; in doing so, we reinforce messages of “not good enough” or “something is wrong with me that I am feeling this way.”
In You Don't Have to Change to Change Everything, readers learn that instead of forcing themselves to feel “happy” and pushing away what is unpleasant, or instead of getting hooked by intense emotions,another path can lead to more profound well-being. Rather than trying to change one’s inner experiences, this book offers six ways to shift one’s vantage point when difficult emotions arise. Being aware from each of these six vantage points allows readers to cultivate inner stability, willingness to turn toward rather than away from themselves, greater perspective, internal strengths and inner resources, self-compassion, connection with the “Whole Self” versus identification with “hole self,” and interconnection with the world around them.
About the Author :
Dr. Beth Kurland, PhD, is a clinical psychologist practicing in the field for nearly 30 years, an author, and a public and TEDx speaker. In addition, Beth is a mind-body wellness coach and creator of the online program The Well-Being Toolkit Program. She is the author of three award-winning books: Dancing on the Tightrope: Transcending the Habits of Your Mind and Awakening to Your Fullest Life (Wellbridge Books, 2018, Finalist by Next Generation Indie Book Awards in the Best Motivational Book category);The Transformative Power of Ten Minutes: An Eight Week Guide to Reducing Stress and Cultivating Well Being (Wellbridge Books, 2017, Finalist in the Next Generation Indie Book Awards in the Health and Wellness category); and Gifts of the Rain Puddle: Poems, Meditations and Reflections for the Mindful Soul (Wellbridge Books, 2017, Winner of the Next Generation Indie Book Awards in the Gift/Novelty book category).Beth is passionate about teaching mind-body practices to help people discover their inner toolkit and realize they don't need to fix or change themselves to awaken the power of inner transformation. You can learn more at BethKurland.com.
Review :
“Provides a framework for understanding why humans react the way they do to unpleasant emotions and offers suggestions for going from ‘surviving’ mode to ‘thriving’ mode…Fans of the author, self-help books, and those interested in clinical psychology will love this book.”
—Library Journal (starred review)
“Beth Kurland's reassuring title says it all and yet offers clear, concise, compassionate instructions for powerful personal transformation.”
—Chris Willard, PsyD, faculty, part-time, Harvard Medical School, and author of Alphabreaths and How We Go Through What We Grow Through
“In her true signature form, Dr. Beth Kurland offers a rich tapestry of practical, accessible strategies that help us rethink change and live with greater presence and compassion.”
—Kristen Lee, EdD, LICSW, bestselling author of Mentalligence: A New Psychology of Thinking and Worth the Risk
“In a sea of self-help hacks, You Don’t Have to Change to Change Everything stands apart in its ability to blend the latest research with the wisdom of the ages to give you insights you can actually use. Beth Kurland’s voice rings true and clear—a brilliant, empathetic voice reminding us that we aren’t flawed beings to be fixed but whole beings whose minds and hearts are on the verge of flourishing. Kurland has given us all a new vantage point from which to see our lives and each other.”
—Terri Trespicio, author of Unfollow Your Passion: How to Create a Life that Matters to You
“In an age when striving for an elusive, perfect kind of happiness infiltrates every domain of life, You Don't Have to Change to Change Everything offers us an antidote. Part clinical wisdom, part memoir, and part poetic vignette, Beth Kurland presents six vantage points for living a meaningful life. Drawing on contemporary psychology, neuroscience, and Eastern wisdom traditions, this book offers rich recipes for practical mindfulness and self-care.”
—Tara Cousineau, PhD, author of The Kindness Cure
“With kind eyes and a warm heart, Beth skillfully helps readers navigate the challenging landscape of negative emotional patterns. Having walked this walk and experienced its life-changing benefits, she speaks with clear and passionate conviction. Weaving neuroscience, psychology, and mindfulness seamlessly together, she leaves for us an elegant and detailed trail of breadcrumbs filled with practical handholds and rich personal epiphanies. Her voice is gentle and clear, her invitations useful, her encouragement straightforward and inspiring.
—Susan Morgan, MSN, RN, CS, and Bill Morgan, PsyD, author of The Meditator's Dilemma
“As a mental health clinician and executive in the field of wellness, I find this book to be a treasure trove of insights. It beautifully bridges the gap between scientific understanding and everyday experiences to offer readers a compelling roadmap to emotional resilience and personal fulfillment. This book shares a refreshing perspective on self-growth and mindfulness and is a must-read for those on a path to deeper self-awareness and well-being.”
—Aimee Gindin, MSCP, chief marketing officer at LifeSpeak Inc.
“In her thoughtful approach combining leading-edge science from a variety of disciplines, Beth helps us to shift away from chasing a fleeting emotion such as happiness and toward meeting ourselves where we are without shame, blame, or criticism. She reminds us that there’s nothing wrong with us, and we don’t need to fix anything. Instead, she teaches us how to relate to what’s happening inside of our mind, body, and nervous system to realign with our intentions, values, and well-being. Through her six vantage points, she provides us with clever strategies, resources, and perspectives that are easily integrated into our daily lives and, importantly, are incredibly helpful in the face of challenge! Even more, Beth has a gift of playfully sharing her own stories, struggles, and vulnerabilities that are so real, relatable, and meaningful!”
—Michael Allison, educational partner with Stephen W. Porges, PhD, and The Polyvagal Institute; developer of The Play Zone—A Neuropsychological Approach to Optimize Wellness, Resilience, and Performance
“I embarked upon You Don’t Have to Change to Change Everything with a physician’s eye and concluded it with deeper breath and stirring hope, realizing that it was exactly what my own nervous system needed. Both wise and disarmingly relatable, Dr. Kurland is an anchor herself as she seamlessly weaves anecdote, theory, and spirituality into a tangible guidebook on how to ease the suffering we all hold tightly inside. This book will remain by my side as I practice medicine, as its profoundly simple tools reveal how true well-being can be cultivated—by any of us—amidst the inevitable messiness of life.”
—Sarah Byrne, MD, family physician and owner of Root Family Medicine, PC
