Without You: A Memoir of Love, Loss, and the Musical Rent

Anthony Rapp captures the passion and grit unique to the theatre world as he recounts his life-changing experience in the original cast of the Pulitzer Prize-winning musical "Rent." Anthony had a special feeling about Jonathan Larson's rock musical from his first audition, so he was thrilled when he landed a starring role as the filmmaker Mark Cohen. With his mom's cancer in remission and a reason to quit his newly acquired job at Starbucks, his life was looking up. When "Rent" opened to thunderous acclaim off Broadway, Rapp and his fellow cast members knew that something truly extraordinary had taken shape. But even as friends and family were celebrating the show's success, they were also mourning Jonathan Larson's sudden death from an aortic aneurysm. By the time "Rent" made its triumphant jump to Broadway, Larson had posthumously won the 1996 Pulitzer Prize. When Anthony's mom began to lose her battle with cancer, he struggled to balance the demands of life in the theatre with his responsibility to his family. Here, Anthony recounts the show's magnificent success and his overwhelming loss. He also shares his first experiences discovering his sexuality, the tension it created with his mother, and his struggle into adulthood to gain her acceptance. Variously marked by fledgling love and devastating loss, piercing frustration and powerful enlightenment, "Without You" charts the course of Rapp's exhilarating journey with the cast and crew of "Rent" as well as the intimacies of his personal life behind the curtain.

Review :
"Anthony Rapp's exquisite account of his formative years with "Rent" is heartbreakingly beautiful, a contemporary portrait of an artist as a young man. This is a memoir filled with love -- a love for the enabling possibilities of the performing arts, for the fragile bonds between family and friends, and for the mysterious enormities of life itself." -- David Roman, professor of English and American studies, University of Southern California, and author of "Performance in America" ""Without You" deserves accolades purely for its author's courage and candor. I expected to be moved, but I didn't count on being completely swept up in the emotion that carries this story so eloquently and poignantly to its end. Rapp may be an actor, but his ability to lay himself bare is the great talent on display here." -- Camryn Manheim, Emmy Award-winning costar of "The Practice" and author of "Wake Up, I'm Fat!" "Anthony Rapp has written a courageous, brutally honest memoir that breaks new ground in writing about the constantly changing arena of the American family experience. The beauty of Rapp's writing lies in his ability to touch the reader with such intense emotional power. His insights into the theatre world are equally perceptive and fresh." -- Chris Columbus, director of the film adaptation of "Rent" "There's a moment in "Rent" when Roger damns his best friend, the character played by Anthony Rapp, by exclaiming, 'Mark hides in his work!' Here, Anthony hides nothing. In his account of "Rent's" backstory and the pain of losing friends and family, Anthony shares incidents and feelings most of us would hesitate to reveal to anyone. As the father of "Rent's" creator, I think "Without You" is a marvelous testament to the power of the show. As an audience member, I think it's a wonderful read and, even more impressive, a terrifically honest one." -- Al Larson, aka "Poppa" or "Pop" "There's a moment in "Rent when Roger damns his best friend, the character played by Anthony Rapp, by exclaiming, 'Mark hides in his work!' Here, Anthony hides nothing. In his account of "Rent's backstory and the pain of losing friends and family, Anthony shares incidents and feelings most of us would hesitate to reveal to anyone. As the father of "Rent's creator, I think "Without You is a marvelous testament to the power of the show. As an audience member, I think it's a wonderful read and, even more impressive, a terrifically honest one." -- Al Larson, aka "Poppa" or "Pop"