About the Book
A powerfully detailed method of dealing with life's pains and injustices." Kirkus Book Reviews
Pain is often part of living; yet, humans naturally resist pain and - in the process of resisting - create more pain for themselves and those they love. In contrast, demonstrating acceptance means approaching the pain of living in a way that gives it less control and less ability to produce suffering. Acceptance is acknowledging what life is, rather than continuing to struggle with what life isn't. Acceptance lessens our struggle with pain and increases our ability to live fully. Acceptance helps us "become okay" - even when we really, really aren't okay.
While many self-help books emphasize the importance of acceptance, how is it developed? Psychologist, Bryan Bushman, provides a step-by-step roadmap for anyone interested in learning how to rise above emotional or physical pain. Part I of the book suggests powerful ways we can avoid suffering through its innovative use of Buddhism's three paths of suffering. Part II of the book focuses on scientifically-grounded ways to develop acceptance. Combining the best of both eastern- and western-insights with the latest neuropsychological research, Dr. Bushman provides several, easy-to-remember steps that summarize information so people can live richer, more-balanced lives.
Universal in its application, there is something here for everyone. Whether you experience depression, anxiety, chronic illness, emotional trauma, relationship problems, or addictive behaviors, pain doesn't have to define you. Using playful humor and powerful case examples, Becoming Okay (When You're Not Okay) provides readers with scientifically-grounded, yet soul-expanding, exercises and insights. You can build a life of vitality and action - even while experiencing some of life's greatest trials.
"The author packs a great deal of information into his pages, and he delivers all of it with the smooth skill of an expert teacher... He also includes many illustrations, including graphs and charts designed to convey multiple steps at a glance." Kirkus Book Reviews
About the Author :
Originally from Texas, Bryan Bushman received in undergraduate degree in psychology from the University of Texas at Austin. He received his MS and PhD degrees from Utah State University. He completed a pre-doctoral internship at Geisinger Medical Center in Danville, PA related to working with children and teens coping with anxiety, depression, and ADHD/learning disabilities. He also completed a post-doctoral fellowship at St. Jude Children's Research Hospital in Memphis, TN where he worked with patients who had cancer and other life-threatening conditions. Since completing his postdoctoral fellowship, Dr. Bushman has provided psychotherapy and neuropsychological assessment for patients at McKay-Dee Hospital's Behavioral Health Institute in Ogden, Utah. Dr. Bushman has been the author or co-author of articles published in peer-reviewed, scientific journals. He consults frequently with school personnel and medical professionals regarding the treatment of anxiety and pain. Dr. Bushman lives with his family in Utah. He avoids jogging, stepping on cat hairballs, and most commentaries posted on the internet after 11 pm. He craves ice cream, sleeping in, using parentheses excessively, and finding ironic turns-of-phrase that make people rightly conclude that he-like his father before him-is an irreverent smart-ass. Dr. Bushman will fuse with a variety of pet peeves, like becoming unduly irritated at people who become unduly irritated. (He currently deludes himself into believing this is not a contradiction.) His internal librarian loves to replay the memory of the day in 2009 when all the rooms of his house were simultaneously clean, tidy, and hairball-free. He accepts that he will probably always have a hard time accepting acceptance, but (ironically) he seems okay with this. More of Dr. Bushman's writings can be found on his website at drbryanbushman.com.
Review :
From Kirkus Book Reviews
"A comprehensive breakdown of the ways in which people subvert and sabotage their own happiness.
Bushman begins his nonfiction debut by defining his terms, specifically warning readers that when he writes about
"acceptance," he's not talking about resignation, indifference, or any other species of fatalism. His real target is the
complacent idea that happiness is somehow a universally guaranteed right and that, therefore, any unhappiness is
wrong--a flaw to be corrected, an unfairness to be redressed. "Acceptance does not mean we like or deserve the
experience of pain," he insists. "It also does not mean we like losing something pleasurable." Rather, he recommends a personal system akin to ancient stoicism, in which one notes that unhappy things are part of human life and can't be avoided. His book argues that a slightly less immediate perspective is conducive to healthy living: that is, that pain and disappointment can be acknowledged without further reactions such as resistance, pursuit, anger, or judgment. In a series of densely packed, well-written chapters, Bushman anatomizes the various components of "self-lies" that people use to soften their disappointments and rationalize the unfairness of life, and what emerges is a clarifying system of thinking about the world. "We ignore the complaining engine of our psyches because we don't perceive any other choice," he writes, and in his chapters on self-destructive behavior, unhealthy emotional strategies, and the paramount importance of self-care, he lays out a program for exercising control over debased habits and lazy patterns. The author packs a great deal of complicated information into his pages, and he delivers all of it with the smooth skill of an expert teacher... He also includes many illustrations, including graphs and charts designed to convey multiple steps at a glance; particularly helpful aids crop up during his discussions of brain chemistry.
A powerfully detailed method of dealing with life's pains and injustices.
