Rules for Ghosting: A Novel

NATIONAL BESTSELLER • To save his family's failing funeral home—and his own chance at a queer love story—a reluctant clairvoyant must embrace the gift he long ignored in this poignant and warmhearted debut. “For top-notch drama, this year’s medal goes to Rules for Ghosting. . . . Here, actual ghosts haunt the quiet and tender moments, and it’s the scenes at family holidays that leave you rattled and gasping.”—The New York Times Book Review (“One of the Best Romance Novels of 2024”) Ezra Friedman sees ghosts, which made growing up in a funeral home complicated. It might have been easier if his grandfather’s ghost didn’t give him scathing looks of disapproval as he went through a second, HRT-induced puberty, or if he didn’t have the pressure of all those relatives—living and dead—judging every choice he makes. It’s no wonder that Ezra runs as far away from the family business as humanly possible. But when the floor of his dream job drops out from under him and his mother uses the family Passover seder to tell everyone she’s running off with the rabbi’s wife, Ezra finds himself back in the thick of it. With his parents’ marriage imploding and the Friedman Family Memorial Chapel on the brink of financial ruin, Ezra agrees to step into his mother’s shoes and help out . . . which means long days surrounded by ghosts that no one else can see. And then there’s his unfortunate crush on Jonathan, the handsome funeral home volunteer . . . who just happens to live downstairs from Ezra’s new apartment . . . and the appearance of the ghost of Jonathan’s gone-too-soon husband, Ben, who is breaking every spectral rule that Ezra knows. Because Ben can speak. He can move. And as Ezra tries to keep his family together and his heart from getting broken, he realizes that there’s more than one way to be haunted—and more than one way to become a ghost.

About the Author :
Shelly Jay Shore is a writer, digital strategist, and nonprofit fundraiser. Her writing on queer Jewish identity has been published by Autostraddle, Hey Alma, and the Bisexual Resource Center. She lives in New York with her partner, where she attempts to wrangle two large dogs and two small children. Rules for Ghosting is her debut novel.

Review :
“The richness of this book left me breathless: how carefully Ezra works to square his trans self with the gendered requirements of Jewish rituals, the fragility of love after loss, the burden of feeling like you’re the only one who can hold a group of squabbling people together. It also brims with such delectable drama that I had to pause mid-scene to find the nearest person and dish as though it were real-world gossip.”—The New York Times Book Review “A triumph. With equal amounts of humor and pathos, Rules for Ghosting is sensitively and gorgeously told. [Shelly Jay] Shore writes characters real enough to step off the page, filled with raw vulnerabilities that allow readers to share in all their pain and love.”—Shelf Awareness, starred review “Heartwarming . . . [Tugs] at the heartstrings and leaves readers sighing happily.”—Booklist “A tender, heart-filled novel, Rules for Ghosting is a beautiful story about identity, family, faith, community, and first love. . . . A breathtaking debut.”—Ashley Herring Blake, author of Delilah Green Doesn’t Care “[Rules for Ghosting] is about finding your place in the world, in your family, in partnership and, finally, within yourself. It was a joy to read, and I can't wait to see what’s next from Shelly Jay Shore.”—Celia Laskey, author of So Happy for You “As unabashedly queer as it is loudly and beautifully Jewish, Rules for Ghosting is one of the most unique, poignant novels I’ve read in a long, long time. Ezra’s journey through self, complicated family dynamics, and opening up to new love was one I’ll never forget. Throw in a looming ghost or two and this book truly has it all.”—Carlyn Greenwald, author of Sizzle Reel “A movingly wrought story about the ways queerness, Jewishness, grief, and joy intersect in messy, painful, and beautiful ways.”—Lev AC Rosen, author of Lavender House “Rules for Ghosting is the kind of book you want to live in. This gorgeous debut marvels at new life and does not shy away from life lost. It cracks open the meaning of the word ‘haunting’—whether that be of discarded identity, hidden yearning, or literal ghosts.”—Haley Jakobson, author of Old Enough “Rules for Ghosting is fun as hell. It’s giving TJ Klune, but instead of supernatural children we’ve got dead people. Same sexy queer longing, though (and honestly, also some supernatural children).”—A. E. Osworth, author of We Are Watching Eliza Bright “Tenderhearted . . . Shore has gifted readers with a haunting tale full of grief, joy, and desire. . . . A gentle love story with a beautiful, queer, Jewish relationship at its center, Rules for Ghosting will make you laugh and make you cry, maybe even at the same time.”—BookPage “A deeply moving story of guilt, grief, ritual, and transformation.”—Lauren R. Samotin, author of The Sins on Their Bones