Praise for The Mindful Coach
“Success in business is predicated on eliciting the best from people. The Mindful Coach clearly articulates the essentials of how to do this. As someone who believes deeply in the potential of all people, I found Silsbee’s approach both practical and profound. This is a must-read for everyone concerned with people and learning.”
—ARTHUR M. BLANK, philanthropist; cofounder, The Home Depot; and owner and CEO, Atlanta Falcons
“The Mindful Coach is not just another coaching model. It is a frame of reference for anyone involved in developing people. This highly readable book should serve as a reference for anyone genuinely concerned about helping others. It has had a significant impact on the way I approach coaching and developing others.”
—JAMES N. BASSETT, M.Ed., employee development, Institute of Nuclear Power Operations
“The Mindful Coach digs deeply, offering a lens and structure for understanding the intimate and necessary connection between relationships and human development. No other skill set, knowledge, or awareness is more important to educators, leaders, and managers than what is presented in this precious volume.”
—ROBERT C. PIANTA, Ph.D., dean, Curry School of Education, University of Virginia
“This revised edition provides the structure for presence, through which new solutions become available. This book itself is a practice in the art of ‘becoming,’ while providing a clear action framework for powerfully engaging others with their own development. Silsbee has provided a gift to leaders, teachers, and coaches!”
—CONNIE MALTBIE-SHULAS, manager, V-22 Training Systems, Boeing
“This book has broad appeal not only for coaches, but also for managers, executives, and consultants. Leaders of all kinds can benefit from Silsbee’s clear and caring process for bringing out the best in people. This is a must-read book for anyone who wants to jump-start themselves and others on their journey to their potential.”
—DIANA WHITNEY, Ph.D., author, The Power of Appreciative Inquiry
“This is the guide for leaders committed to helping others learn. The seven roles will help any leader facilitate more meaningful development conversations. This new edition engaged me instantly, with immediate applications in key relationships.”
—DARELYN “DJ” MITSCH, MCC, president, The Pyramid Resource Group; former president, The International Coach Federation
Table of Contents:
Exercises, Practices, Exhibits, and Figures ix
Foreword xiii
Preface to the New and Revised Edition xv
Introduction: What Is Coaching? 1
A Working Definition of Coaching 4
Distinguishing Coaching from Other Aspects of Professional Relationships 6
Contexts for Coaching: Four Dynamics 9
Introduction Summary 14
1 The Being of Coaching: Mindful Service 17
Placing Oneself in Service 18
Mindfulness and Self-Awareness 19
Mindfulness and the Three Levels of Experience 23
Attachments and Aversions 25
Conditioning and Habits That Block Mindfulness 30
Coaching Habits 33
Chapter Summary 41
2 Cultivating Mindfulness 43
Self-Observation 44
Practices for Cultivating Mindfulness 48
Coach as Learner 54
Accountability in Service 55
Chapter Summary 56
3 The Seven Voices of the Coach 57
Learning the Voices 58
The Individual Roles or Voices 60
The Voices and Their Aspects 64
Placing the Voices in Context 64
Chapter Summary 72
4 The Master 73
Maintaining Self-Awareness 76
Listening with Focus and Presence 78
Modeling Learning and Growth 79
Embracing the Client with Compassion and Respect 82
Choosing Which of the Operational Voices to Use at a Given Time 84
The Mindful Master 86
Chapter Summary 89
5 The Partner 91
Establishing and Honoring an Explicit Structure for the Coaching Relationship 93
Advocating Shared Commitment to Competency-Based Coaching Outcomes 98
Offering Choice Points and Making Joint Decisions About the Coaching Process 103
The Mindful Partner 107
Chapter Summary 110
6 The Investigator 113
Asking Questions That Shift the Client’s Understanding of the Situation 116
Helping the Client to Articulate Desired Outcomes 120
Asking the Client to Generate Courses of Action 122
The Mindful Investigator 126
Chapter Summary 130
7 The Reflector 131
Providing Direct and Honest Feedback 133
Directing the Client’s Attention Toward His or Her Capabilities and Potential 137
Encouraging Self-Observation and Reflection 141
The Mindful Reflector 143
Chapter Summary 147
8 The Teacher 149
Providing New Distinctions, Information, and Knowledge 151
Challenging and Stimulating the Client’s Thinking Process 154
Explaining the Coaching Process, Theory, and Models Being Used 159
The Mindful Teacher 162
Chapter Summary 165
9 The Guide 167
Encouraging the Client to Take Some Action of the Client’s Choosing 170
Offering Options for Action 172
Recommending Specific Courses of Action 175
The Mindful Guide 178
Chapter Summary 181
10 The Contractor 183
Establishing Clear Agreements About Actions 186
Exploring and Resolving Client Doubts and Hesitations 190
Following Up with the Client About Agreed-On Actions 193
The Mindful Contractor 196
Chapter Summary 199
11 Self-Development Strategies for the Coach 201
Self-Assessment Tools 202
Self-Observation as a Coach 205
Navigating the Model 210
Learning from Your Reflection 216
Reviewing Audio Recordings 217
Obtaining and Listening to Client Feedback 218
Planning Your Own Development 221
Chapter Summary 223
Epilogue: Coaching as a Journey Toward Mastery 225
About Fluidity and Intuition 227
Practice as Path 229
Selected Reading 235
Notes 239
Acknowledgments 245
The Author 249
Index 251
About the Author :
Doug Silsbee is a thought leader in the field of presence-based leadership development, coaching, and resilience. He coaches, teaches, and writes in Asheville, North Carolina. A master teacher, Silsbee has worked with leaders on five continents, taught top executives from corporations, nonprofits, and government, and is a frequent speaker at major conferences. He is a Master Somatic Coach with Strozzi Institute and the author of Presence-Based Coaching from Jossey-Bass.
Silsbee is an outdoor adventurer, grandfather, and owner of a carbon-neutral retreat center on 63 acres in the North Carolina mountains, where he offers courses in his groundbreaking approaches. He can be reached at http://dougsilsbee.com or ds@dougsilsbee.com.
