Love Is Not Enough: What It Takes to Make It Work

This helpful guide to building lasting relationships focuses on the personalities of the partners and introduces ways to build enduring compatibility. Love is Not Enough: What It Takes to Make it Work explores why couples fall into the same types of relationship traps time and again and offers sound advice, based on extensive research and real case stories, for recognizing and combating the forces that can sink a promising relationship. While it is true that opposites can attract, irrevocably opposed personalities and habits cannot sustain a relationship. How can you foresee one partner being the immovable object to the other's irrepressible force? As Love is Not Enough shows, it is all about personality—yours, your potential partner's, and how the two mesh. Thoroughly grounded in the realities of relationships today, the book helps readers recognize and understand interactions among different personality types. Each chapter offers carefully considered wisdom on how to resolve particular differences in a relationship and break through to the kind of awareness and understanding that invariably makes things work.

Table of Contents:
Introduction Part One: Your Relationship PREVIEW 1 Getting Close in the Relationship What Is the Goal of a Good Relationship? Is It Possible That Everyone Marries for the Wrong Reason? Values versus Personality Suffering and Personality Talking Listening versus Disregard 2 The Relationship in Its Context Culture of the Marriage Repair Change in Relationships The Important People Are Here Rules of Approach and Rejection Partners Take Each Other Very Seriously You Behave toward Your Spouse as You Did toward Your Same-Gender Parent 3 How to Save the Relationship The Good Parent Event versus Process The Algebra of Relationships Reminder: Be a First among Equals To Lose, Not to Win 4 Differences between Men and Women Roles Communication: Yes versus No Communication: Yes and No, Again Communication: The Difficult Theme for Men Communication: The Difficult Theme for Women Men and Women: Other Differences 5 The Reality of Marriage Three Fires 10-Point Scale for Marriage The Perfect Is the Enemy of the Good Personal Life and Professional Life Don't Make It Two against One Two Equals Zero 6 Dangers and Opportunities in the Relationship The Romance of Life That Which Initially Attracts You Is That Which Eventually Kills You Psychological Immune System Crisis and Sex Part Two: You PREVIEW 7 Your Main Task in Life Wishes and Anger What Is the Main Task of Life? Symptoms and Consciousness Aggravation versus Trouble 8 Rising above Your Resistance Count Retain Your Individuality The Line Time Guts Procrastination The World Is a C– 9 How and Why People Get Together (or Don't) Mate Selection Criteria Rescue Missions Let Everyone Have His or Her Own Problems Men Marry Their Fathers; Women Marry Their Mothers To Get Together or Not 10 Managing the Crisis Posttraumatic Stress With Whom Do You Identify? Emotions The Minds of Specific Emotions Whining Defensiveness Answering Questions or Not Answering Questions Magical Thinking Part Three: Personality Styles PREVIEW 11 Emotionally Controlled Types The Absence-of-Warmth Type The Orderly Type The Critical Type 12 Emotionally Expansive Types The Falling-in-Love-Easily Type The Self-Love Type The High-as-a-Kite Type 13 Emotionally Antagonistic Types Varieties of the Angry Type The Manipulator Type The Mean/Cruel Type 14 Emotionally Vulnerable Types The Clinging Type The Can't-Do-Anything Type The Down-in-the-Dumps Type The Victim Type The Worried Type 15 Emotionally Volatile Type The Loaded-with-Problems Type 16 Emotionally Healthy Type This Is the One! The Beginning About the Author Books by the Author

About the Author :
Henry Kellerman, PhD, is a psychologist/psychoanalyst in private practice in New York, NY.

Review :
With minimal jargon, a psychologist/psychoanalyst in private practice in New York City gives practical advice on intimate relationships. With case examples, he explains what each individual's personality contributes to the drama and which emotional styles (of 20 described) promote or hinder compatibility. Self-assessments help readers identify what they are doing to help or hurt a relationship.