An Asperger Marriage

Four years ago, Chris Slater-Walker was diagnosed with Asperger Syndrome. For him this was an explanation of why he has always regarded himself as "socially handicapped", but for his wife Gisela it meant coming to terms with a marriage in which there would never be any intuitive understanding, despite Chris's good intentions. This is an account of a long and still unfinished process of learning to live with a disability that some regard as incompatible with marriage. Charting Chris's background, the history of Gisela and Chris's relationship and the subsequentimpact of the diagnosis on their relationship, the first half of the book thoughtfully juxtaposes the two authors' stories and their reactions to Chris's condition. The remainder covers developments within their relationship, and the understanding that has grown between the couple; however, the authors never shirk from describing the difficulties that have arisen.

Table of Contents:
Foreword - Tony Attwood. 1. Introduction - Gisela. 2. Terminology - Gisela. 3. Relationships - Chris. 4. How we met - Gisela. 5. Diagnosis - Chris. 6. ICD-10 Criteria for Asperger Syndrome. 7. Diagnosis - Gisela. 8. Communication - Chris. 9. Communication - Gisela. 10. Affection, sentimentality and intimacy - Chris. 11. Intimacy, romance and intuition - Gisela. 12. Sex. 13. Living together - Chris. 14. Living together - Gisela. 15. Parenthood - Chris. 16. Parenthood - Gisela. 17. Social life - Chris. 18. Social life - Gisela. 19. Employment - Gisela. 20. The future - Chris. 21. Postscript - Gisela. Bibliography.

About the Author :
Gisela and Chris Slater-Walker have been partners for eleven years. Both gained BA (Hons) in Russian Studies from Manchester University. Gisela is an English teacher at Aylesbury High School.

Review :
This fascinating book is a joint venture between Gisela and Chris. They have each written frankly of their own perceptions of their marriage and reflect with great sensitivity on the impact which Asperger's syndrome has had on their 12 years of living together. It is likely to be of particular interest to those involved in marital counselling. 'If you are looking for a sensitive and enlightening insight into an 11-year-old marriage between a man diagnosed with Asperger's and his long-suffering wife, look no further than this excellent book... the heartening message is that, despite the immense obstacles - both within the marriage and from the lack of facilities available - here is a couple that have managed to go a long way towards bridging that "yawning chasm". [When] one partner has Asperger syndrome, making the diagnosis can be problematic, but giving advice on coping and understanding the condition is even more problematic. That is why reading Chris and Gisela's book was so fascinating and helpful.They do not pretend that it is easy, but their factual information with some poignant yet amusing anecdotes make this an enjoyable, as well as informative, book to read. I would highly recommend the book for couples where one partner has Asperger syndrome and for professionals, not only those working in this field, but anyone who works with people with relationship difficulties. It is definitely on my list of recommended reading. A humane and tender book…Chris's writing itself has done more to explain to me what Asperger syndrome involves than any `description' I have previously read…The book is hopeful without being soppy and brave without being boastful. This book is the first to examine a successful marriage from both perspectives and provides knowledge that will be of value, not only to similar couples and individuals with Asperger Syndrome who are considering a relationship, but also the organizations that support relationships. This book is the first of its kind and is an essential read for couples, parents and professionals involved or interested in gaining a deeper understanding into the uncharted territory of Asperger marriages. A very readable book, pastors may welll find it helpful for their own understanding, but also as a resource to pass on to couples concerned for their autistic child, as also to people suffering from this particular disability. This is a book of real value to people with a personal experience of AS and one which will also be reassuring to parents of children diagnosed with AS. I would particularly recommend it as a quick read to both social and health care professionals who are involved in making assessments, trying to understand the `person' and attempting to enable people with AS to achieve their own aspirations.