Facing The Talk

What are we teaching our daughters about sex? Our girls are bombarded with sexual messages—at school, through social media, in movies, songs and advertising, and so on. How are we helping them process these messages? At what age should we start talking about sex? How do we protect them in this world of sexting and date rape? Most importantly, how do we empower them to make wise choices about their bodies and learn to take care of themselves in a world that can feel very unsafe? Elizabeth Chapin writes: "The data is pretty consistent—most girls aren't waiting until marriage to have sex. Many aren't even waiting until adulthood! Unfortunately, too many parents don't explicitly talk about sex. Perhaps we're afraid our kids won't listen. Or we won't know what to say. Maybe we're ashamed of something in our past. Or we're paralyzed by our own brokenness because of something terrible that's happened to us. For some of us, our parents never talked about sex and we made all the right choices, so we expect the same outcome for our own girls. Unfortunately, our silence often does more harm than good." This book is designed to inspire and encourage us to have conversations about sex with our girls that will prepare them to make healthy, wise and informed choices. This is not a typical "how to" parenting book. Elizabeth Chapin is a professor and a mom of four who is open about all her missteps as a parent. She shows us how she has been able to offer her girls something more than a set of rules about sex—instead offering them an alternative imagination, a reframing of what Western media culture defines sex to be. If you, like Elizabeth, want to invite your daughters into the bigger story of God's creative goodness in the world, then you will find a refreshing perspective in these pages.

Table of Contents:
1. Learning to Talk 2. The How-To Sex Talk 3. Talking Topics: Ages Nine to Twelve 4. Where Did My Little Girl Go? 5. Back Story 6. The How-Not-To Sex Talk 7. Talking Topics: Ages Thirteen to Seventeen 8. Fear Factor 9. Overcoming Fear and Shame Acknowledgments Appendix A: Resources for The Talks Appendix B: Sexual Abuse and Violence Against Women Appendix C: Talking Topics Notes

About the Author :
Wendy Elizabeth Chapin (MA, Portland Seminary) is a writer and speaker based in Seattle, Washington, where she raised her four daughters. She is pursuing graduate work in the intersection of religion, gender, and technology at the University of Washington​.​

Review :
"Elizabeth Chapin's honest and inviting book demonstrates what it advocates: open, transparent and grace-filled conversations about female embodiment and sex. Chapin's stories of intentional rituals she has practiced with her daughters are grounded in the lavish love of God and told within the context of a loving family and community. She shares her experience, research and counsel with wisdom, humor and humility as she too continues to grow as a daughter of God. A gift well given."--Cherith Fee Nordling, associate professor of theology, Northern Seminary "I've had the privilege of serving students alongside Elizabeth for years. I've watched her heart and insightful wisdom impact countless lives. But the greatest honor I have had is to watch her parent her daughters and to see how they've grown into women who know how to respect and honor their body and sex. I know that I will be using this book in my student ministry and in my home."--Neely McQueen, youth worker, author of 99 Things Every Girl Should Know